I'm a husband and dad, also.
It's good that you're "challenging" your wife's doctors with questions and concerns. Keep doing it--this is your wife and unborn baby that we're talking about, and you're trusting her doctor with their lives. Fortunately my wife had a wonderful high-risk OB who answered every question we had, and he kept us abreast of everything going on.
As for the children you have now, I'd try to find a place for them to stay for a month or two, with people that you completely trust. My wife and I had a situation not as critical as yours when we moved--her parents kept the twins for a month while we closed and moved, and it was excruciating to be away from them for that long. The kids would probably be better off not feeling your stress, and you'd have less on your mind to worry about, knowing that they're with people that care for them. The situation of them being away is temporary--if anything goes wrong with your wife and unborn baby, that could, unfortunately, be permanent. My wife was on bedrest for about 5 months, and trust me, she needs you, and should have as little to worry about as possible.
Hope this helps.
DW, Norlisa (35)
essential hypertension diagnosed before pregnancy, successfully treated with atenolol, post-partum preeclampsia
Joseph/Josephine Our Angel in Heaven (9/16/02)
Twins Mary Frances and Samuel (a.k.a. Frankie and Sammy) 38 2/7 weeks, 5/26/03