by hfwarner3 (141 Posts), Sat Feb 19, 2005 06:52 am
Thank you to all of you for your encouragement and kind words. It really does help to have a forum where I can step away for a few minutes to vent, question, evaluate, and listen.
Yesterday it finally sunk in 100% with my wife that this is "something new." It actually makes sense looking back. She has been dealing with her fear over the PIH coming this early by telling herself that she has been here 3 times before and knows what is going on. Last night she was finally able to verbalize that she is afraid, that there is no "logic" to PIH, and the only thing she can do to "fight" this is stay in bed.
With our first three children, she got PIH late in the pregnancy. Her BP would go up consistently each week. If you plotted her top and bottom BP numbers on a graph, you saw two slowly lines movings consistently upward. When the top number hit 170/110 in the week 37 - 38 timeframe, they induced and that was that.
I showed her the graph of her BPs of the last week and it is a rollercoaster with peaks and valleys that are getting ever higher and ever lower. There is no steady line. It really hit home.
I think that she needed to hear herself say that she was afraid and that she did not know what was going on. I think this has helped her accept the situation and take most of the emotion out of the equation.
We made a list of her concerns. It turned out that a lot of her short-term stress is about preperation for the baby, not the PIH. The big semi-annual consignment sale at church is in 2 weeks. She gets 80% of the kids clothes at this sale and was planning on getting the baby's clothes there. Now she can't do that. Once we talked it through, I put the laptop down beside her in bed and she started bidding on clothes on eBay. I told her how she has plenty of time now to patiently look for good deals and the selection on eBay over a few weeks would be much greater than that of the consignment sale. This got her *doing* something, and that has helped.
Ironicly, my wife runs the Elizabeth Ministry for our church. They provide meals to families in our parish when someone is sick, on bed-rest, or has just had a new baby. This has been a very enlightening experience from the receipient standpoint. She has come up with small changes that will make the ministry better. Since it only takes a pad of paper, a pen, and a phone, she has been working on that. This also gives her something to *do*.
My in-laws will be here in a few hours and all is looking good right now. I am going to take a break for a couple hours - go get a haircut, go get a latte, etc. After that, my in-laws are going to take the kids so I can transplant my wife to the sofa and we can watch a movie together. If the BP cooperates, it should be a good day. And if the BP goes up and we need to go to the hospital, we are ready and prepared.
That is about the best we can ask for today.
Thanks again to everyone.