frustrated - sleeping problems

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Re : frustrated - sleeping problems

Postby deerhart » Thu Nov 06, 638302 1:47 pm

I may be able to pass along a reason. Your chest is warm, the bed is cold. At that age, the baby cannot regulate body temp very well and does not have the body mass to to keep them warm. Usually they grow out of this as the child gains weight. You might try taking a blow dryer and warming the sheets before putting her down or adding another layer of clothes to see if that helps.

Remember she is also used to hearing mom's heartbeat 24/7 and that may be another reason its easier to sleep on your chest verses a bed.

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Re : frustrated - sleeping problems

Postby panguitch02 » Wed Nov 05, 638302 12:42 pm

I think it is very normal to feel frustrated in the beginning. Jameson slept in the bouncy seat, which sat in the co-sleeper next to me. DH and I thought it was the safest option. We were very worried about SIDS so we never co-slept. My mom watched Jameson while we worked, and I specifically asked her not to hold him while he slept, so he would become accustomed to sleeping alone. It worked for him.

The key is to figure out what works best for you, your wife, and Hannah.

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Re : frustrated - sleeping problems

Postby aundapenner » Mon Oct 27, 638302 1:13 pm

Yup. Like everyone else here, this sounds all too familiar. And I sooooooooooo empathize with your wife. I personally was not this loving mama who enjoyed being touched all day long.

Henry was a 34-weeker who turns out had colic, reflux and a dairy allergy. Loads of fun. :)

We're also not into the crying it out. Babies really do NOT have the ability to manipulate. Now a 2-year old on the other hand ... ;)

Henry did not like the sling. We tried all sorts of baby-wearing gear. He simply liked being held in the arms. I can tell you, peeing with a screaming baby is not fun (talk about changes in personal hygiene). But now, he lets me take nice long showers no problem.

This too shall pass. And I think it is normal - not all kids want to sleep through the night at 6 weeks, kwim?!? :)

Hang in there. And my only advice is to remind your wife that it's normal to feel frustrated and for you to help as much as you can when you're home (which of course, sounds like you're doing anyway - just like my DH!)

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Re : frustrated - sleeping problems

Postby mommy1st » Mon Oct 27, 638302 7:37 am

My son did that for awhile too they eventually grow out of it! Mine finally did about about 3-4 months just to aware you, hopefully your's won't do that as long as mine did.
We bought a moby wrap and I put him in it during the day because they say preemies need that extra touch and hear of the heartbeat. You have to remember that your daughter would still be in your wife's tummy. We also had our son in the bouncer seat, that was literally the only thing that would let us have a breather. He slept in that until he was 9 1/2 weeks old and then we moved him to the crib.

I hope this helps and remember it does get better:)

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Re : frustrated - sleeping problems

Postby rachaelann » Mon Oct 27, 638302 6:23 am

my ds was like that for awhile too. walmart has these bears called the "womb bear" and they make like a heart beat noise. anyways, we put logan in a bassinet that vibrated, so he was more closed in and the womb bear by his feet so he could hear it. and he really started sleeping better.

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Re : frustrated - sleeping problems

Postby pixie323 » Sat Aug 30, 638302 12:17 pm

I can definitely relate. Isaac is the same, however has really improved over the past few weeks. We were sent to a sleep clinic to try the comfort crying technique at 6 wks corrected, but it was a disaster. It just made everything worse, especially his reflux. I think at about 5 wks corrected we started co-sleeping and I nursed him to sleep lying down, then when he had fallen asleep, I'd roll him over. The only problem has been that my DH has moved to another room to allow us to sleep safely. But now I'm getting a good 3-4 hours sleep between feeds and Isaac also appears to be reasonably happy. We also purchased a swing (rocks both ways), which he has started taking his afternoon nap in.

Things do improve... I know how hard it is to start with. If you have any family and friends, they can be a great help just holding your daughter for a sleep, so you can catch a sleep. That is what I ended up doing for the first few weeks.

Good Luck!

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Re : frustrated - sleeping problems

Postby alittlepregnant » Sat Aug 30, 638302 4:50 am

This sounds so familiar! When Charlie came home, we were floored by how little he would tolerate being put down, and by how poorly he slept unless he was either on one of us or -- I can't believe I'm admitting this in public -- on his stomach. I thought this must be unusual, but after asking around I found it to be pretty common, both among preemies and full-termers. An awful lot of babies just need to be held an awful lot of the time.

Uh, I mean a wonderful lot. Yeah, that's it.

Everyone is different, and everyone does what gets their family through the night. I totally understand the bunker mentality that takes over when you're feeling stressed and desperate and still so freaked out about what you've been through. However, at 2.5 weeks corrected, there is no way I could deliberately have let Charlie cry for long when it was in my power to stop it. He was still just so little and the fear was all so fresh, you know?

Some things that helped us:
A sling for daytime glomming -- we simply gave up on trying to put him down very oftenLetting him sleep on his belly if and only if one of us was awake right there next to him the whole time -- we were relatively comfortable doing so, although I am aware of the increased risk of SIDS and would not advise anyone to do so without a frank talk with your child's neonatologistReflux meds -- Charlie had it pretty bad, and being held upright seemed to help, but his sleep didn't truly improve until he was on the right combination of drugsHolding him all through the night -- amazing what positions you can get used to when you're truly sleep deprived!I hope things smooth out for you very soon. Honestly, for us, the only thing that really made a huge difference was time. According to our neonatologist, preemies are just more prone to cruddy sleep patterns, and it takes them maybe a little longer to do what she called "getting organized." It was tough, but knowing that was some small reassurance; at the very least it helped us understand that he wouldn't always be a rotten sleeper...necessarily...

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Re : frustrated - sleeping problems

Postby superjess » Wed Aug 06, 638302 10:30 pm

My baby was a 32-weeker and she was the same way. It was exhausting and frustrating sometimes to have to hold her constantly, but I just figured that's what she needed and I just went with it (when I have this new baby in Sept. I'm just going to get a bed rail and expect him to want to sleep with me - it makes nursing easier). I carried her in a sling a lot during the day. Slings are wonderful! And she pretty much just slept on my or my husband's chest at night. She didn't actually cry or scream a lot, but if I tried to get her to sleep in the bassinet by my bed she would never settle down and grunt and whimper and thrash around and act unhappy in general.

My mom gave me a peice of advice that made a lot of sense to me. My mom is a child psychologist/child development specialist and she said that babies younger than six months aren't able to learn from "cry it out" techniques. Their little brains just can't learn that yet. She dosen't even think that all babies older than six months really learn to sleep in their cribs from crying it out. They just get ready to sleep through the night when they're mature enough to do that and every baby is different. Also babies can't be "spoiled"- they really aren't trying to maipulate you, they're just babies!

So that's my experience, and Lily started to sleep through the night at about nine months and I could tell she was ready to. She also had very severe reflux (like a lot of preemies do) and I think that being held made her tummy feel better. Maybe your baby has some reflux issues?
So my opinion is just listen to what your baby is telling you - I think they really do know what they need from you. It's a really stressful time when your baby hasn't gotten the sleeping thing down, and sometimes you feel a little insane (I truly thought I saw a ghost one night when Lily still wasn't sleeping through the night). But it will get better!

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Re : frustrated - sleeping problems

Postby season » Wed Aug 06, 638302 7:11 pm

My ds (34 weeker) was like that. He just did better when he was on/near us. I used my sling a lot during the day. He slept on me a lot at night. I personally believe in co-sleeping and found a lot of research supporting it - but you need to decide what you feel is best.

For such little ones - sometimes you have to wait untill they are deep asleep to put them down. Asleep to the point that you can move their arm and it just flops away when you let go. Even that did not always work for my ds though - he just knew when he was not near me.

As ds got a bit bigger/older the bouncy seat gave me breaks - when he was awake.

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Re : frustrated - sleeping problems

Postby sheri-ct » Wed Aug 06, 638302 3:59 pm

Do you have a bouncy seat? MIne did not like the swing until they were much older, but they lOVED their bouncy seats (with the vibrator on). Or she could try a sling.


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