DH and an issue this morning...

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.
dohertyab
Registered User
Posts: 236
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 11:08 am

Re : DH and an issue this morning...

Postby dohertyab » Mon Mar 23, 2009 09:01 am

DH told me he liked it better when he had the twins by himself and I was out of the house. It meant they were his responsibility. For some reason he seemed to think that if I was in the house even if I was sleeping or asking hime to look after them while I did something else that they were still my responsibility. I don't know, but I did find that if I made the effort to let him be responsible for short periods of time that he got much better about safety issues quite quickly. He'd even start to correct me on things that he saw me do after a little while. The hardest thing about this is that you have to let him do things his way (very hard to do, still hard to do and the twins are 7!!!) even if it's "wrong". Given the twins age you may not be ready to do this for long periods of time, but if you can start even with little "daddy time" then it might help. DH said that if I wasn't around then he knew he had to figure out what to do when they were crying etc. I still don't really want to know about some of what happened but they were all ok so someone was looking out for them.

Now having said that I was out of town last week and when I told the girls I was leaving they jumped up and down all excited (not what I expected) and said they get candy all week. Found out he sent jam and chocolate chip sandwhiches (on whole wheat flax bread) to school for lunch. He still wonders to me why the kids are so much better behaved with me home than when it's just him. So in some ways they never learn, but they did make it to school every day and they were just tired and a little cranky when I got home and they were glad to see me!



kisapaduga
Registered User
Posts: 45
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 05:49 pm

Re : DH and an issue this morning...

Postby kisapaduga » Sat Mar 21, 2009 03:26 pm

There's a lot of things that I think become common sense when you become a mother --- especially being very protective and cautious when it comes to safety. I don't think the guys get infused with this as we seem to after delivery :)

My husband is wonderful with our little guy, but when I first went back to work part-time, I was really worried. He was only a few months old, and DH would do things or forget to do things that seemed like common sense!! With time, he learned to become more sure of himself too and now I have no worries when I'm not there with them (almost --- found out the little guy ran off on him in the parking lot --- common sense!!! Strap the kid in the carseat first and THEN put the bags in the car!!!)

I'm sure you'll find that things will get easier in time. Being new parents is challenging, especially in the first days, and it can seem like you are constantly on your husband for what he's doing wrong. It will get better!! And sometimes they take the criticism better when you praise them for how wonderful they're doing too :)

Take care!
Alisa

season
Forum Moderator
Posts: 1417
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2003 05:39 pm

Re : DH and an issue this morning...

Postby season » Sat Mar 21, 2009 02:18 pm

Dara,

I think we have ALL been there.

Take a deep breath - it was not OK to do it but the boys are OK. We all make mistakes - and husband's do seem to a have a way of doing things that befuddle us. My guess is that while he seemed to brush it off - he probably did not internally. One of the hardest things moms have to do is to trust our husbands and let them make some mistakes. If we don't then usually they back off and then we end up exhausted form doing it all.




darateacher
Registered User
Posts: 1699
Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 07:28 pm

DH and an issue this morning...

Postby darateacher » Sat Mar 21, 2009 12:45 am

I love my DH VERY much and he's a great daddy and supportive husband. :-)

I'm a bit angry with him now. I'm afraid this will happen again.

I let him know when putting a kiddo into a bouncy seat, to never leave him alone for even one minute. you never know what can/will happen.

Well...I had just come downstairs from a quick nap, and I heard the boys screaming like crazy! I looked at Noah and he had slid all the way down in his bouncy seat and DH had not strapped him in. Dang it!!!! Did DH actually think this time???? Adam was fine...just hungry and also not strapped in.

Noah could've suffocated!!!! I went over to Dan and let him know about this. His reply was, "I only left him for one minute." My response was, "That's all it takes, dear."

Grrr! He didn't even admit that what he did was wrong!



Return to “Parents of Preemies”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests