please sleep baby!

[joker]

I have to get this girl to sleep more than an hour or two at a time at night. The swaddle doesn't work because she prefers her arms to be free.

Last night she was wide awake from 1:30am-3:30am. Then slept until 7:30am when I finally woke her up to eat. I am sure she would have slept longer if I had let her. The four hour stretch was great, but I wish it would be from 1:30-5:30 or 6am instead because it just feels like I haven't gotten any sleep the other way. Plus, I can barely keep my eyes open while she is wide awake. Other than that four hours last night, she has been going about two hours then waking up and it's not out of hunger. Am I expecting too much here?

[crystalw]

hmmm... im not sure.. but i swaddle jack with his arms out and get it really tight underneath his arms. In fact you aren't supposed to have any blankets above their armpits during sleep.. how bout during the day? is she sleeping all day? how much are you feeding her? does she sleep with you or in a cradle or in a crib? is she crying while she is awake?

[joker]

She does sleep alot during the day, and people have told me to keep her awake more, but how the heck am I supposed to keep her awake? I also swaddle her below the armpits like you said, but it doesn't make a difference. She's eating about 2oz every three hours and sleeps in the bassinet in our room at night. When she is awake, she pretty much wants to be held if it is at night and if you put her down she starts crying. I try giving her the paci, but she can't really hold on to it for more than few minutes at a time, so I have to constantly replace it if I don't want to pick her up.

[laura]

I hate to say it... but all of mine didn't sleep for four hours at a stretch for months. dude is almost two and still doesn't sleep through the night! I remember feeling a little crazy, but I did have all of them propped in the co-sleeper and stayed in my pjs and learned that light twilight sleep thing where I napped when they did and didn't fully wake up while taking care of them at night.

Occasionally, I'd insist my dh pull a weekend so I could catch up. I'd say- if she's content in her bed and awake- but not fussing you should not feel badly about napping. You can't enrich them at that age- she knows you're near, her needs have been cared for, too much stimulation for them isn't good for 'em any way. Hang in there!

[crystalw]

have you tried giving her more milk? Jack will sleep for about 4 hours but usually not unless he is in bed with me! He eats between 80-90cc's and has since about 3 weeks of age. he can't hold his paci in either because of his cleft so sometimes I just have to hang my arm over the cradle and hold it in. and also he has a glowing seahorse that plays music and he loves that at night to go to sleep. is your room to cold ?? if jack is cold he wants to be held. Also.. lol where does she sleep during the day? They say not to put them in their bassinet or cradles in the day. They say to keep their napping place different than bedtime.. Jack sleeps mostly in the swing or on the couch during the day. Just giving ya some ideas.. sorry im not much help..

[aundapenner]

We just received the glowing seahorse as a gift and I love it! It's a soft light and subtle music.

Sofia had her days and nights mixed up for a long time (at the time it felt like forever). When I asked if I should encourage her to be more awake during the day (which sounds like the advice you've been given) our midwife said it won't do any good and that she would eventually switch her days and nights. Trying to keep a baby awake will only upset both of you so IMO not worth it. And, it doesn't work so why add more frustration to sleep deprivation.

Some of the best advice I received this time around was for the first 2 months it was okay to do whatever it took to get decent sleep - for ALL of us.

I found that I woke with every little peep from Sofia and remembered doing the same thing with Henry. For at least 3 weeks, DH slept in the guest room with Sofia in her cradle, waking me only for feedings. Then, as my mom was visiting, we slowly transitioned to her being in our room.

She's 10 weeks old yesterday and I can promise you that she's sleeping MUCH better. Henry never slept this well!!! She's out like a light from about 10 at night until 3am almost every night and then up again at 6-7ish. Of course, writing this means she'll change it all up.

Seriously, as soon as you get used to a schedule/their routine, they change it up on ya! Mothering is a HUGE lesson in both patience and flexibility - two of my greatest weaknesses!!!

Oh, one more thing. Sofia hated being swaddled in the beginning too. But my MIL found a trick that we now use and works. We swaddle her (above the armpits - why should't we, I'm curious), hold her belly to belly (at an angle) and shush her while rocking in very small motions. If Sofia's tired but full and can't sleep, works like a charm.

Now with Henry, nothing worked. He had serious overstimulation issues as an infant that he's still not completely outgrown. I was told it was due to his preemieness and one of his systems (nervous perhaps?) not being fully developed.

(((HUGS))) I promise she (and you) will figure out a routine that works!

[crystalw]

Alice.. swaddling below the armpits is I guess part of the SIDS prevention tips.. or at least that is what I was told in the NICU.. no stomach sleeping, no stuffed animals, no blankets above armpits. But I do put his seahorse in the cradle with him. I put it at his feet.

[hols537]

Jonathan had some sleep trouble after he was home a few weeks. I learned that he really liked things that vibrated. His bassinet had a vibrate function and I would use that. It was on a 10 minute timer so sometimes I'd just pull the bassinet close to my bed and reach over and restart it so I could get some rest. For a long time, he was on a schedule where he slept hard from like 8-12 and then was up frequently, but that passed and I just learned to go to bed early.

Like some others have said, I did whatever was necessary for us to get sleep for the first few months.

I strongly suggest the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. Both my boys are wonderful sleepers now and I credit the advice in that book. What I like best is that it isn't just a set of instructions, it helps you understand what is going on developmentally with their sleep so you can set your expectations and determine what you can try. He even acknowledges the differences for preemies and colicky babies.

Here's a short list of things you might try:
-vibrating machine
-sleeping in the swing
-white noise (Jonathan has a strong preference for nature sounds or heartbeat sounds. A fan works too.)
-keep your level of activity VERY low during the night (I never talked to the boys at night, changed their diapers only if necessary, didn't turn on lights, etc.)
-let daddy listen to the baby at night and get you when she needs to be fed (like Alice suggested. We did the same and I got much better sleep between feedings. I also put daddy in charge of wakings not requiring feeding - although those were few and far between in the early days)

Has the pedi given you instructions to wake her at night for feedings? Once Alexander had proven he was gaining weight at home, he was allowed to go as long as he wanted at night and to wake him for feedings during the day only. I was able to do the same with Jonathan too and I think it made a difference.

It will get better!!

[aundapenner]

Thanks Crystal! It makes sense. DH is in charge of swaddling - she breaks out of mine in 2 seconds flat. He said he just started doing what you suggested because he noticed the blanket sometimes covering her mouth.

The only thing they told us here about SIDS prevention is back sleeping and stuff in the bed.

We also put the seahorse at the foot of her bed.

[trish]

Ali was many months old - maybe at least 6 I would guess - before she slept 4-5 hours straight. I remember this because my 1st was sleeping 12 hours straight through at 5 months. I have come to realize she was the exception rather than the rule since my 2nd took over 2 years to sleep 12 hours straight through. LOL!

You've gotten good advice so I don't have much to add. Just try and hang in there!! It seems like it lasts f.o.r.e.v.e.r when you are going through it but it does soon pass.