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Today is Brandon's due date....

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Today is Brandon's due date....

Postby hannahsmom » Wed Dec 16, 2009 11:31 am

by hannahsmom (1141 Posts), Wed Dec 16, 2009 11:31 am

I can't help but be sad. Today is the day that Brandon was due, and he's already been in this world for 5 weeks! I know that I shouldn't be sad because I have a healthy baby home with me. But I guess I'm sad because I feel that I missed out on a perfect, full-term birth yet again, and there will be no more chances. I feel like I should be in the hospital giving birth, not sitting at home crying my eyes out. Hannah was still sick in the hospital on her due date, so I know that I am lucky this go-around. I've been so sleep deprived because Brandon's little tummy can't hold much milk at a time, so he's up almost every hour, and then has a hard time going back to sleep. I almost had a nervous break-down on Monday. I was holding Brandon on my belly in my bed waiting for Hannah to get up that morning, but when I went to turn off the alarm, my hand slipped and Brandon slid off my belly and fell to the floor. Thank goodness the comforter had fallen to the floor earlier and caught him, and we also have carpet in the bedroom, but he fell right on his head and started screaming. I took him to the pediatrician and they did a CAT scan and everything was fine, but I broke down right in front of the pediatrician. He said he really wants me to talk to my OB about PPD, and he wants me to get some help from friends or family so I can sleep during the day. I don't have a great support system right now, so it's going to be hard. I also have other changes going on in my life so everything seems to be crashing in all at once. I told him that I don't have an OB anymore after the fiasco where she wanted to deliver me at the small hospital at 29 weeks, so the ped said to talk to my MFM about it during my appointment on Friday. So I guess I will do that. I know other preemie mommas understand about the due date sadness, so I just wanted to get it out there. Thanks for listening :)
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Re : Today is Brandon's due date....

Postby annes » Wed Dec 16, 2009 11:59 am

by annes (2527 Posts), Wed Dec 16, 2009 11:59 am

(((Suzanne)), I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. I was a little sad on Clover's due date myself, we do miss out on a lot with our high-risk pregnancies. My dh dropped Clover off the bed at around the same age, luckily she landed on a pile of pillows, she slept through the whole thing. (I was furious with dh) It does sound like you have a lot going on, and little sleep to fuel you. I wish I lived near you, I would come over and take care of that little sweetie for you so you could sleep :). Hang in there, take care of yourself.
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Re : Today is Brandon's due date....

Postby hannahsmom » Fri Dec 18, 2009 02:47 pm

by hannahsmom (1141 Posts), Fri Dec 18, 2009 02:47 pm

Thanks, Anne. Glad to know that I am not the only one to drop a baby off the bed! I am feeling a little better now. I saw my MFM today and he gave me some meds for PPD and referred me to a new OB/GYN, so I was happy about that. Thanks for listening :)
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Re : Today is Brandon's due date....

Postby joannek » Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:22 am

by joannek (193 Posts), Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:22 am

Hey Suzanne,
how are you feeling? I hope your meds are working for you. I snuck out of the house for a fifteen minute walk yesterday and it felt really good to do it. I hope you can get a little time to yourself too. Even just ten or fifteen minutes helps:)
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Re : Today is Brandon's due date....

Postby hannahsmom » Wed Dec 23, 2009 02:16 pm

by hannahsmom (1141 Posts), Wed Dec 23, 2009 02:16 pm

Joanne -

Thanks for checking on me. I am about to go shopping so I can get out of this house! Between Brandon's constant crying and Hannah's need for attention since she's out of school...I am going crazy! I have not slept more than an hour at a time. The pediatrician's nurse said it sounds like Brandon has Colic. Great! Calgon, take me away!!! I did get some meds for PPD. I don't know if they're working yet - hopefully they will kick in soon. With the kid stress and the fact that I am losing my job and my husband has been a jerk.....I have actually felt a little better the past couple of days. I am looking forward to the holidays. Oh, and I've lost 30 pounds - woo hoo! I hope your Christmas is great - can't wait to see pics of your new little one!!
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