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Temper Tantrums and Walking away

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.

Re : Temper Tantrums and Walking away

Postby annes » Wed Jun 09, 2004 10:33 am

by annes (2527 Posts), Wed Jun 09, 2004 10:33 am

I agree with all the prior posts, but just wanted to add, the days before Parker's teeth popped through (both at the same time) he was a BEAR! He occassionally has crying/screaming fits also. He is prone to ear infections, with no fever, so sometimes that is it. (I hope that is not the case with your sweetie)Sometimes I think they just get startled by something and cannot calm down. Anne

Anne
DH Richard
Parker 7/6/03(severe pe)33wks
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Re : Temper Tantrums and Walking away

Postby laura » Wed Jun 09, 2004 12:41 am

by laura (5139 Posts), Wed Jun 09, 2004 12:41 am

Ok, oh wise ones- here's another dilemma to chew on-- I need help, too!... Missy Camille has taken to screeching- the ear piercing, painful scream- in addition to crying to expedite whatever process she's waiting on- I want my sippy cup... NOW and I'm going to shatter glass and summon the aquatic life until it's here. It's not born of any real distress, just a cool new trick to get me hopping. Thing is, I just can't handle it. I'm easily sent into stimulation overload and the screeching makes me want to hide my head under my pillow and weep. She'll be 14 months on the 17th- much younger than my first was doing this. Any suggestions on how to stop the screech?

Laura
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Mom to Alicia (severe PE) 5/98 and Camille (htn, oligo) 4/03
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Re : Temper Tantrums and Walking away

Postby meg » Wed Jun 09, 2004 01:13 pm

by meg (1384 Posts), Wed Jun 09, 2004 01:13 pm

SHe's just testing you out at this age to see what you'll give in to and what will work. Its a bit early but she is probably just a really smart cookie ;) If you cant link it to anything other than just wanting what she wants the minute she wants it, I would just ignore it. I KNOW KNOW its hard but its the only way to get rid of it. Just go about getting her whatever it is as the normal speed you would. You could even model calmness and quitely say, "Mommy will get that in just a minute" or whatever. It will drive you nuts to ignore it but it should only take a handful ( or two handfuls) of times before she realizes it isnt working. Now give in to the screaming, even just once and it will only get worse. Hang tough Mommy, you can do it ;)

Will 2-6-00 ( PE at 35 weeks)
Elizabeth 7-3-01 ( NO PE)
#3 EDD 10-25-04 Its a girl! So far so good!
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Re : Temper Tantrums and Walking away

Postby kylesmom » Wed Jun 09, 2004 01:21 pm

by kylesmom (186 Posts), Wed Jun 09, 2004 01:21 pm

Well, I don't know if I am a 'wise-one' Laura, (maybe a wise-cracker...[;)] but I find that when Kyle does the screeching thing, he responds well to my saying "sh, sh, sh" like from 'the wheels on the bus' song and he loves it when his stuffed friends tell him "sh, sh, sh"...so he will quiet down immed'ly when he sees my finger to my mouth to hear the soft "sh's." I can do that to keep him quiet and make him laugh through almost anything. And at the same time you are modeling a quiet and soft voice as you talk to her after she stops shrieking. (spoken as a mom and a speech therapist)

Give it a shot- maybe it will help to keep your head out from under the pillow!!!

Good luck... and remember, there's always earplugs!

A little sidenote to the above postings- I have had this debate with a friend of mine- mother of 2 who believes that kids CAN be manipulative even before 8 months... its nice to hear some back-up to my argument that it is unlikely. She always makes me feel guilty for picking him up when he is fussing. Thanks ladies!

Jennifer 32
Kyle born 8-13-03 @ 38 weeks (severe atypical Preeclampsia and Class I HELLP)
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Re : Temper Tantrums and Walking away

Postby catherine » Wed Jun 09, 2004 02:01 pm

by catherine (2832 Posts), Wed Jun 09, 2004 02:01 pm

Jennifer, much as I have often believed my offspring are secretly in league with the devil, but manipulative before they can walk?.. NO WAY! I think your friend might be a slightly paranoid and possibly controlling nut....but maybe I'm being hypercritical [:p].

Laura, I might be tempted to take a slightly different approach with Cam than Jennifer, whose style sounds much easier on the ears and I will be trying it. In our house, we speak whale a la the Nemo movie. For some reason both Lucy and Chloe immediately stop grizzling and start paying attention and I find it pretty relaxing also. I also feel much smarter speaking another language!! If we're all laughing then we all feel much better. When baby cries start to drill in your head... ugh!

Catherine
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Re : Temper Tantrums and Walking away

Postby kylesmom » Thu Jun 10, 2004 07:17 am

by kylesmom (186 Posts), Thu Jun 10, 2004 07:17 am

Man, I really gotta watch this Nemo movie to get a better understanding of Catherine's parenting style! [;)] And yes she is a bit of a control-freak (my friend, not Catherine [:p] ) and its funny b/c her older child is a very sweet and well-behaved 8yo but her 4yo is the absolute opposite... ah, nature vs. nurture. I could go on and on and on......

I tried another approach to the shrieking in the last week or so... we do lots of opposites on/off, open/shut and I started LOUD/soft with the car music and with my voice and he started whispering yesterday to copy me!!! He's brrrrilliant! [:D]



Jennifer 32
Kyle born 8-13-03 @ 38 weeks (severe atypical Preeclampsia and Class I HELLP)
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Re : Temper Tantrums and Walking away

Postby laura » Tue Jun 15, 2004 04:02 pm

by laura (5139 Posts), Tue Jun 15, 2004 04:02 pm

Thanks, folks, for the mucho wise advice- I didn't realize that I'd been raising my voice and screeching back when she was screeching- and ignoring it went a long way, and she's just about done now (THANK GOODNESS!)

I need to watch Nemo again, Catherine and bone up on my whale- I was postpartumish when I first saw it, and was emotionally scarred by the separated parent/child theme (not to mention Mama a la diner, too!) and haven't watched it since I returned from HormoneWorld. Sounds like MOVIE NIGHT!!



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Mom to Alicia (severe PE) 5/98 and Camille (htn, oligo) 4/03
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/c/camilleandallie/
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