Preschool and Preemie attachment

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Re : Preschool and Preemie attachment

Postby kdreher » Tue Sep 28, 2010 01:51 pm

I think it all depends. Part of me hated to go back to work but I had no choice. Michael is 22 mos now, has been at a new in-home daycare since Jan and he loves it. So much that he pushes me out the door. I have many moments where I want to stay home with him and it's hard to go back to work after a long holiday or vacation but for me I don't feel any more closer to him than normal!?! I find myself being very low key and not overly worried over a fall, etc...I'm 41 and think if I was a younger mom I might be more cautious.

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Re : Preschool and Preemie attachment

Postby mommiesangel » Sun Sep 19, 2010 02:17 pm

Know this post is a couple of weeks old but I hope that you got through your DS first day of preschool well.

DD started preschool the same time you did only PT 3 days a week. The first day was the hardest thing ever. I pulled into the parking lot and cried. Than I dropped her off in the playground with the rest ofher class and gave her big hugs and kisses and went inside only to watch her pick her lip and look scared. That just broke my heart in half and I again started to cry. I was so excited to get her that I showed up 15 minutes early which wasn't a good thing because she didn't listen to the teacher once I was there.

Its been about 2 weeks since she started and of course she got her first cold in less than a week (uugghh) we had to take a day off because she was so sick...but went right back into our regular routine. She still kind of not sure of the whole thing when I drop her off. She will just usually stand there picking her lip and not look at her teacher reading a book till the helper comes to get her. The other day she cried and said no mommy you can well imagine that broke my heart. But when I pick her up from school she is happy and standing in line ready to go potty & wash hands.

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Re : Preschool and Preemie attachment

Postby bernadic » Wed Sep 08, 2010 08:31 pm

Hi Julie B. I am in the same boat as you. My little one went to pre-school for the first time yesterday. I feel the same way!!! We look at everything too in regards to his development. I don't want him to struggle or be behind. Also, he has never been left with a babysitter. We only leave him with my parents. I get where you are coming from. Have a great day tomorrow! Hugs and a kleenex to share!!!

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Re : Preschool and Preemie attachment

Postby jenmatt1 » Wed Sep 08, 2010 08:03 pm

Even when there are no development issues, I think us preemie parents are overly cautious with their kids. It took me a year to be able to let anyone besides family and close friends even hold her. For me, it was like I was almost afraid to let go of her again after I almost lost her. It does get easier- especially when you see how much they enjoy it. We moved to a new state when my daughter was 9 months old and didn't really know anyone. Preschool has allowed her to grow and socialize and actually put all of my fears about development away. She is well ahead of the kids in her class at 2 on all the verbal and motor skills. I just made sure I trusted the people I left her with for preschool and it got easier as the days went on.

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Re : Preschool and Preemie attachment

Postby dohertyab » Wed Sep 08, 2010 09:46 am

It's a big deal when you send them off for the first time. I found it hard to not be aware of everything they did and I didn't get a full report about their day like I did with the daycare. HOWEVER, it is them growing up and learning to be independent. I don't know if it has anything to do with being a preemie though. I've met quite a few parents whose children are in school with mine and some of them are totally over the top in my opinion. I know their kids weren't preemies. The twins went to overnight camp for 6 days this past summer and I was a wreck, but I know it's important to their sense of independence to be able to do thing for themselves. I knew the camp director and I drafted emails every day and then had to force myself NOT to send them. If there was a problem, they would get in touch with me. It was hard though.

There's been a lot in the media about the kids in high school not being able to think independently since their lives have been scheduled from the moment they woke up and were driven to school until all after school activities were done and they were picked up and driven home at night. These kids are going to university and don't know how to act by themselves.

I do think preemie parents have a different appreciation for things their kids do, since many of us had to wonder if they would live or if they would have long term developmental issues. Are they more attached? not sure about that one. I think it may be harder to accept at some point that your child no longer needs special attention due to the prematurity.

Wow, I didn't realize I had so many thoughts about the subject. Sorry for the rant, but you asked:) I would suggest a deep breath, lots of talk to the teacher, maybe in a few weeks, volunteer at school if the teacher doesn't think it would affect him. Remember, he's been through so much more already and is stronger than anyone thought!

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Preschool and Preemie attachment

Postby julieb » Wed Sep 08, 2010 08:57 am

I am just wondering if parents of preemies are more attached to their children?? DS is starting preschool tomorrow and I feel almost abnormally attached to him after being a SAHM since he was born and always being so protective of him. I have analyzed everything he does and every stage of his development since the NICU and I feel like I am going to have a hard time letting go of that. Hopefully he won't pick up on my feelings though! Maybe all parents feel the same way about the first day of school but I feel like I am extra attached to DS after everything we have been through. After several winters of seclusion to avoid getting sick I am worried about what will happen this year and worried that his teacher may not pick up on learning or social issues that he may have. Any advice from you preemie parents who have already gone through the first day of preschool thing?? Thanks :)

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