Baby in NICU for one month now

[torian0319]

Hi-
I have not been on this site for quite a while. I was still pregnant and battling high bp and proteinurea. Well, in December my blood pressure was 150/100 and I was spilling over 1g of protien in 24 hrs, so I was admitted to the hospital. With medicine and bed rest, I was told that I would need to stay in the hosptial until my baby was born. Unfortunately, on Dec 16th, a little after midnight, I started bleeding heavily with really bad cramps. Turns out, I had a placental abruption. I was given an emergency C-sect and delivered a 1 lb 7 oz baby. She was on the ventilator for 4 days, C-P for 2 days, and then vapor. She has had 3 transfusion so far and some low reported vitamin's (like Calcium), in which they are giving her supplements for. She is now 2 lb 13 oz and they anticipate her to come home first week of March or so. It is so hard being away from her, but I cannot sit in the NICU b/c there is littel I can do with her. I tried pumping to give her milk and it worked for the first 2 weeks, but not efficiently. I was only getting about less than an oz each time and I was pumping every 3 hrs, taking Reglan, and powerpumping. I was even getting up at night every 3 hrs and it was exhausting. My husband and I had got into a fight on the day I was released and left the home and has yet to return. Says he needs to work and I will be too bothersome. So, I think the stress of having a baby, the baby being premature, and the issues with my husband all played a role in my inability to express milk in quantities that would have sustained my baby. Has any preemie mom (born at 28 weeks or less) be able to breast feed their baby? I am just wondering if it was the stress or if it just was not possible in the first place. I did truly want to breast feed her when she was ready to feed by mouth. Thanks for listening/reading.

T-

[catherine]

Good grief!!!! No wonder that you haven't been back to let us know how you've been getting on!

Congratulations on the birth of your little girl. I know that she's got a long road ahead of her but she seems to have done very well so far. How are you feeling now? Has your BP come back to normal? Recovering from preeclampsia and a C-section is physically and emotionally demanding, and being a NICU mom just adds extra stress and fatigue.

It is entirely likely that all of these stresses made breastfeeding/pumping just too darn difficult. Establishing a good milk supply post partum is often a real challenge, even for women who have experienced uncomplicated full term deliveries and are free to devote all their time and attention to establishing a nursing relationship. Sometimes something just has to give.

There are many women who post here who understand where you are coming from, so I"ll just get out of the way and let them welcome you to this forum.

E-kisses to your baby girl!

[amanda]

Oh sweetie! Like Catherine said - congratulations on your baby girl! You really have been put through the ringer with everything that's been going on! I'd like to give you a little different view on the breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is good but very few of us (including myself) were able to nurse from the beginning. In fact when Anna Grace was so small she didn't have the energy to nurse - it's a pretty difficult process when you think about it! Additionally, your little one is getting supplemental nutrients so even though I was able to produce *some* milk the majority was boosted nutrients - which is what she needed. One thing that I did do was to (and this might sound nuts to you!) make sure that when I fed her I was still skin to skin - have you tried that?

It's completely overwhelming what you have been through. I'm hoping too that your BP's are coming down (or have become normal) - don't hesitate to go to the doctor though if you need - a healthy mommy is what is the absolute best for both you AND baby.

[trish]

I just want to send you some huge hugs!!! (((HUGS))) It's no wonder you are having BF issues with all the stresses you've been under!! I'm glad that your little girl is doing so well in the NICU. Remember to take care of yourself as well. Hang in there!

[torian0319]

Thank you for all the Congrats and comments. My bp is not "my" normal yet, but it is within a range that is not concerning (120s/ 80s). I think the bottom number correlates with stress, and I have been under an incredible amount of stress. It makes me feel better that most moms have difficulty breastfeeding their preemie babies. I just received a call yesterday that she is low on Calcium, so she is now on an i.v. infusion of calcium, which means I can't hold her (ugghhhh). I do have another question for you...those who have brought their baby home, how long did you keep them at home before sending to daycare? I work full time outside of the home and my husband works full time inside the home. I only have 6 more weeks of my FMLA, so my mom is coming for two weeks and I am guessing my husband's mom may come for a few weeks once I return to work. But, after that, she will have to go to daycare. My first daughter was also a preemie (28 weeks at 1 lb 12 oz) born on the same day as my little Brianna (who would've thought, huh?!). She went to daycare right after 8 weeks. However, she suffered lung issues until she was about 2 years old ( RSV, pneumonia, rotavirus). I was in and out of the hosptial so much that I almost lost my job. I will have to post a picture of my little one soon. She is almost 3 lbs (yeahhh). Thanks again everyone!

[kellyo19]

My first post was deleted, so will try this again.

First, congrats on your little one's arrival! Sounds like she's doing well all things considering.
Second, husbands have a horrible time with PE/PIH pregnancies too. Its stressful for them to watch them struggle during a time that should be happy. And if they're asked to do more around the house and take care of older children, when they're not used to it, it adds to their stress levels. (Not saying its right, but it does happen) My hubby really struggled the last few wks, and hated feeling powerless to help. Most men are problem-solvers and PE doesn't allow much for them to solve.

PUmping. I wasn't able to pump/nurse for our daughter after the PE. At 10 days she was only on formula. The basic 1-side pump wasn't enough and I didn't realize I had double electric options. When I had our son in 2009, I was more prepared. I had a double-electric pump: Medela Pump In Style Advanced. Its available in most big box stores (Babies R Us is more expensive for the actual pump unless on sale, I got mine at Target on sale for $210 w/ baby registry coupon). You can also buy on Craigslist and EBay, some are new, some are used for just a few wks, others are used for 1+ yrs. If used, you can buy replacement tubing and parts and carefully wipe the surface of the pump (follow manual instructions). With medela, the little white membranes need replacement after 2-3 mos (for me it was 2 mos, manual said 3 mos).

try hands-free pumping (I used rubberband setup) and distract yourself during pumping - read a magazine, watch the news, take deep breaths, have a protein snack. Try breast compressions. Try motherlove.com's supplements. Make sure you're not taking decongestants or allergy meds as they can help dry you up. Check out Kellymom.com's website for tips and FAQs, there's lots of good info on there. (no relation to me, just a good site I found when I struggled)

ANd give yourself kudos for what you can do and have already done.

[bernadic]

Hugs to you. I too had a 28 weeker. Mine was on the oscillator then the vent for a while and had lung damage and scarring. I was told to watch out for germs so daycare was a dicey situation. What I ended up doing was going back to work after 5 weeks after my c-section. My dr approved of it since I was healing very well and I could sit for a good part of the day. That way when the baby came home, I still had 7 weeks of my FMLA. My employer was ok with splitting the 12 weeks of FMLA due to the preemie situation. Every night after work, I raced to the hospital for a visit. Maybe you could go back to work now and then have a few more weeks when the baby comes home. My husband was able to take time off after that and then I had my mom to help out. You could possibly look for a small home day care for the first year to minimize exposure. That is what I ended up doing. For the pumping, I used the hospital Medela classic breast pump and I pumped every 3 hours. While pumping I read books and magazines. I was able to pump for 18 months since my son didn't latch on well enough and had some other crazy eating issues. Good luck to you!