VENT

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.

VENT

Postby samarasmom » Sun Aug 01, 2004 06:50 pm

I dont know what to do and need some support. Samara is beautiful no doubt but she is alot fussier than my 2 boys and has to eat every 2 hours day and night. I dont know if this is cause her stomach is smaller and she has to eat smaller amounts. also she is the only one that had to have a pacifier and not just any pacifier, HER pacifier. I am just so tired and have not slept since she has been home and I have little help and am up with her all night and my boys all day and am considering going back to work so i dont lose my house since I am financially struggling from being off work for the past 2 months and still am getting no help from the government for my time off that I am supposed to get.

Are preemies needs different and are they more touchy than normal babies or is it just her. And what advise can someone give so I dont go crazy here.
Thanks and sorry for the long story, gotta go mother duty calls

Sandra 23
elijah 05/06/99
isaiah 03/25/02
samara 07/21/04
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Re : VENT

Postby annegarrett » Sun Aug 01, 2004 07:25 pm

Sorry you are feeling so run down. All four of mine ate every two hours--at least for the first month or two. That is something that is only "easier" if you just sort of go with it. I tried to nap when the boys napped but know about trying to manage a household with a new baby and older kids. Sometimes I would be so tired that I would bring the little ones in with me, or corral them into one room, make it childproof, lock the door, turn on videos, essentially cheat at parenting...I managed but it was definitely intense. I was a mom at 23--it is tough--and to not have the financial and moral support--that is tougher. So the best thing is to not make it even tougher by beating yourself up. You will get through this--I did--I have great faith in you--the fact that you are this aware will help you cope. What, if any help are you getting from the kids' dad? Your family? your friends?

One thing I did which was a real lifesaver was find a women's center where they have programs for parents. In Washington we have PEPS which is a program that offer support to parents. Check out for resources like that. Another thing is find someone like yourself and swap childcare...I actually looked for a roommate who had a child so we could help one another through the tougher days. Wow...forgot about that...that was quite awhile ago. That boy is now 19. Hang in there--feel free to write, vent and worry. Preemies are different so give rub their feet, cuddle them all swaddled up, and don't worry about feeding her constantly--just assume that you will have to and before you know it--you will be done. That first month--I barely felt like I could get dressed...you have a lot on your plate...don't add another thing by being hard on yourself.

Take care--big hugs!!

Anne Garrett
Executive Director
Preeclampsia Foundation
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Re : VENT

Postby jenn » Sun Aug 01, 2004 08:07 pm

Sandra,
Hey there.
Samara is a Diva in training huh? [:)]
I know this time is difficult, but it gets better - I promise!
Samara is just growing girl whom still should be in the womb, she is now at the point she should have been gaining rapid weight so she could be a lil' chubby bubby when born.
But know your not alone.
I remember clearly not ever sleeping and questioning what energy I was running on.
Newborns can be so demanding. OH what fun I'm looking forward too [;)]

Oh yea', plus my lil' Jaidyn has an eatting disorder and STILL takes 4oz bottles of this special formula Elecare every 2-4 hours. I'm a stranger to what sleeping throught the night is still 3 1/2 yrs later.
So if your ever up giving Samara a feeding, do know I'm here with ya' doing the same thing, but with a big baby who too is a demanding lil' diva.

Much love to you two.


Jennie (24)
Shad DH (29)

Jaidyn 1.24.01 (30 wkr)
Severe PE/HELLP
2lb. 12oz.

Heavenly Angel:
Blaze
12.6.03
(miscarriage)

Natalia Rosse
Due Thanksgiving day!
11.25.04

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/jaid/

Natalia's web page
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/n/nataliarosse/

warning big pg belly photo :o)
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Re : VENT

Postby raindrop » Sun Aug 01, 2004 08:09 pm

Sandra

You sound like I was when I first came home with Wyatt. He would eat every 1-2 hours all day long and nite. I thought for a long time that I was not going to make it with having to stay awake so much. I did do some of what Anne did too, I would have my DD watch a video while I sat in a recliner feeding DS and half asleep too.

About the paci.. for about a yr Wyatt had only 1 type of paci he would use and if it isnt around he would scream his head off. He is just now getting to where he dont HAVE to have it.


It does get better, even though from my end it is still not over as DS has only slept all nite maybe 3 times. I am hoping he is sleeping more by the time #3 gets here. Good Luck.

Donna - 32
Richard - 33
Whitney Lynn Rochelle- 6-27-99 - (36 wks due to PE) 5lbs 2oz 18in long
Wyatt Elijah Lawrence- 7-3-03 (34wks 6days due to PIH/PE) 4lbs 6.8oz 17in long
Expecting #3 EDD March 3, 2005 - gallstones

http://www.geocities.com/raindropzplace/Wyatt.html?1057812569412

http://www.imagestation.com/member/?name=raindrop1971

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Re : VENT

Postby samarasmom » Mon Aug 02, 2004 06:29 am

Thank you ladies. Me and her dad are together but I do all the baby care and he refuses to help and get up with her in the middle of the night.Well I at least know that I will live thru this and she will Stop SOMEDAY. I do send my boys to their room and they play and watch movies for a couple hours while I try to nap after their lunch. Thanks again and BTW my 2 boys still dont sleep thru the night they always get up to come get in bed with me

Sandra 23
elijah 05/06/99
isaiah 03/25/02
samara 07/21/04
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Re : VENT

Postby raindrop » Mon Aug 02, 2004 06:57 am

Sandra I know what you mean. I wake up alot and my DD in bed with me and DH. She has done it so much I dont even know it all the time now.

Donna - 32
Richard - 33
Whitney Lynn Rochelle- 6-27-99 - (36 wks due to PE) 5lbs 2oz 18in long
Wyatt Elijah Lawrence- 7-3-03 (34wks 6days due to PIH/PE) 4lbs 6.8oz 17in long
Expecting #3 EDD March 3, 2005 - gallstones

http://www.geocities.com/raindropzplace/Wyatt.html?1057812569412

http://www.imagestation.com/member/?name=raindrop1971

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Re : VENT

Postby deerhart » Mon Aug 02, 2004 09:08 am

*hugs* both my boys ate all the time as well, but I was lucky andmy husband shared in on the baby care load. He often would take one of the night feedings so I could put together at least 3 hours straight of sleep. Some nights he would take 2 feedings (11pm- midnight one and the 2 am one) so I would get alot more sleep.

In all honesty, right now it doesn't matter how messy your house is, how messy you feel you are etc... you need to take care of you and the 3 little ones. Luckily, your oldest is at an age where they can help out quite a bit by picking up and helping keep an eye on the youngest boy.

Napping when the baby slept never worked for me because I have 5 gazillion other things to do then but some things that may help
- use a rollar bassinet so you can move the baby from room to room with you, that way even if she is awake you can be near by
- can also use a sling or a one of those carriers you wear so she can be close by, but your hands are free
- sleep with her, if you don't like co bedding, you can always (as uncomfertable as it sounds) sleep on the floor by her. Thus, there isn't so much getting up and moving around for night feedings (either breast or bottle if you keep the bottles close at hand). My youngest son hated sleeping by himself from 4-8 months and my husband used to sleep on the floor or the couch with him curled up on his chest -- whatever it took to get some sleep!

- Make a mom's day out, send all 3 kids to whereever for a few hours and take the time to do whatever you want.. sleep, shop, manicure whatever!
Oh one more thing!
The pacifier
get a nice strong string, ribbon whatever, but keep it rather short
get a baby safety pin
Tie one end of the string to the pin, tie the other end to the pacy and then pin it to her.. Pacy always on hand, don't have to worry about losing it, don't have to worry about seraching under her or in her bedding for it when she spits it out, just grab the string and pluck it back in (you can also buy these in stores but in my expierence they don't work as well, espeically when your pacy doesn't really have anything to loop it through)
Finally, if you know what kind she likes, have a couple on hand in an easy to get to place just in case one disappears so you don't have to search.. just replace!

Your in the worst part of it now, soon her feedings will start to spread out to 3 then 4 then sometimes 5-6 hours between them and that exhausted I can barely open my eyes I am so tired feeling will be a thing of the past!!!!

Erin

Moderator - Parents of Preemies
Missouri State Coordinator
Mommy to Alex (4)and Mason (1 1/2)
Law Student - 1 year done, 2 to go
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Re : VENT

Postby aimeejane » Mon Aug 02, 2004 09:24 am

Oh, Sandra, you need hugs!

The best advice I can offer is in the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block," by Dr. Harvey Karp. Using his swaddling techniques, combined with shushing, swaying, etc. really helped Kalen sleep longer. I wish I hadn't already given my book to a friend, or I'd ship it out to you today. Maybe you can get it at the library? I know the last thing you have time for is reading right now, but finding the time for this one book may save your sanity in the long run. I've never put much stock in "book cures" before, but this one is really cool.

Aimee
Georgia State Coordinator

Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)
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