For parents of older preemies...

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.

Re : For parents of older preemies...

Postby deerhart » Fri Aug 27, 2004 07:49 am

LOl Mason does the head banging thing, in fact both boys did from about 11-24 months. he sits down on the floor spreads his legs and smacks his head right into the ground *sigh*. He also throws things much more then Alex did/does.

We also ignore the head banging things (except watching ot make sure he didn't hit his head too hard since his favorite spot is the ceramic tile floor) and eventually they stop it.

Erin

Moderator - Parents of Preemies
Missouri State Coordinator
Mommy to Alex (4)and Mason (1 1/2)
Law Student - 1 year done, 2 to go
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Re : For parents of older preemies...

Postby aimeejane » Mon Aug 30, 2004 08:22 am

I WISH ignoring worked so well in my house. I walk out of the room, and he screams and screeches for an hour...yes, an hour.

T-minus 3 days until school starts...

Aimee
Georgia State Coordinator
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Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)
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Re : For parents of older preemies...

Postby deerhart » Mon Aug 30, 2004 11:04 am

Thats the hardest part of it all. We would put Alex in his room for bed and he would tantrum for not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4-5 hours long (basically until he fell asleep from sheer exhaustion). It was the worst thing in the world to listen too, but once it got through to him that it wasn't working anymore the time gradually decreased. Now that took a couple of months until it got down to a more bearable 10-15 minute or less stage, but it was well worth it. We simply had to decide that we were no longer going to give him exactly what he wanted. Insdtead of coming into the room we would talk to him from the hallway and only allowed 1-2 minutes of us trying to calm him down before walking away again. We also freely gave hugs and kisses (at the door) untill he started using them as a stall tactic and then he got several of them and then told that we had to save some for the next day.

Finally when all else fails and he wants to scream and screech I found the number one way to quiet him down.. I just turn the TV or Radio up louder. He makes a futile attempt to scream over it and within 2-5 minutes he stops screaming (I think at first it was out of sheer wonder at what I was doing) and wait for me to turn it down. Then sometimes he protests again ( and the volume goes back up until he quiets down) but usually he gets the picture and speaks to me in a better quieter tone.
The other thing that works (because he does get so worked up and redfaced/hot) is to apply a cold wet washcloth onto his face. My mom suggested it to me because it used to work on me at that age and it works wonderfully with Alex as well as also teaching him to try to learn for himself when he's too worked up and to try to calm himself down. It worked well enough that several times he would be upset and trying to calm down and he would ask for the washcloth because I hadn't gotten it yet. We have now moved beyond the washcloth (though it reappears from time to time) and are working on teaching him to blow clouds when he gets angry or upset (take a deep breath and then make clouds by blowing the air out through your mouth). Its very hard to scream or screech when you blowing as hard as you can.

Erin

Moderator - Parents of Preemies
Missouri State Coordinator
Mommy to Alex (4)and Mason (1 1/2)
Law Student - 1 year done, 2 to go
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Re : For parents of older preemies...

Postby laura » Mon Aug 30, 2004 11:08 am

Oh sweet Jesu, I'm glad you guys are talking about this, because I thought my kid was the only one who could tantrum indefinitely. It didn't happen often, but I have to say that it was the reason we couldn't get our older one out of our bedroom (she was down to a sleeping bag on the floor) until she was FOUR- we'd try to move her and she'd cry and work herself up in intensity all night to the point where she'd not be able to speak the next day. *sigh*

Laura
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Alicia (severe PE) 5/98 ~ Camille (htn, oligo) 4/03
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/c/camilleandallie/
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Re : For parents of older preemies...

Postby samarasmom » Mon Aug 30, 2004 12:25 am

I know what you ladies mean. Everyone always told me that tantrums wouldnt last long. And then when they saw how long my son could go they were amazed. Some of these kids have some energizer batteries in them that keep going and going and going....Its definatley hard to listen to and very agitating but you have to deal with the situation sooner or later and I prefer to teach right from the start instead of stalling and making us both miserable before then.


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Michael Abron ( fiance)
Elijah Kristopher Michael Abron ( 43 wks no complications) 5/6/99
Isaiah Liam Abron ( 37 wks PE and Preterm labor) 3/25/02
Samara Juliyana Abron ( 35 wks PIH and poss PE ) 7/21/04
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