For parents of older preemies...

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.
raindrop
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Posts: 454
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2003 09:57 am

Re : For parents of older preemies...

Postby raindrop » Tue Aug 24, 2004 07:28 pm

Aimee, I wont guarentee that the cancer will be any easier, not to discourage. Whitney and Wyatt and one of my step DD are all cancers. ALL are VERY stubborn, so far Whitney is very good at pushing the buttons. I can say no, she goes ahead anyways. I have tried every punishing tactic I can think of that is legal....lol. She has has a spanking, a timeout, put in corner, sent to bed, lost all priviledges for x amount of time. nothing gets thru to her. Sounds alot like Nicky from what you were saying. I too hate to *lose it* with her and now being preg again, it is even more trying. I have just about hit the end of my rope and ready to take her to a counselor or someone to find out why she is getting so bad and refuses to listen.

As you all were saying about the signs, I am a scorpio, usually patient, except lately.


Donna - 32
Richard - 33
Whitney Lynn Rochelle- 6-27-99 - (36 wks due to severe PE) 5lbs 2oz 18in long
Wyatt Elijah Lawrence- 7-3-03 (34wks 6days due to severe PIH/PE) 4lbs 6.8oz 17in long
Expecting #3 EDD March 3, 2005 - gallstones

http://www.geocities.com/raindropzplace/Wyatt.html?1057812569412

http://www.imagestation.com/member/?name=raindrop1971


aimeejane
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Joined: Tue Jan 28, 2003 08:45 am

Re : For parents of older preemies...

Postby aimeejane » Tue Aug 24, 2004 06:13 pm

Thanks, guys. It helps so much. HUGS

Samara, I kwym about the zodiac signs. I do put some stock in them, and when I realized that Nicky was an Aries, my thought was, "Oh #$%@, what is this Pices going to do to with a RAM in her house???" Hopefully, Kalen (a cancer) will be a little easier, but we shall see, huh? ;)

Aimee
Georgia State Coordinator
Moderator - Pregnant Again

Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)

samarasmom
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Re : For parents of older preemies...

Postby samarasmom » Tue Aug 24, 2004 04:36 pm

My 2 boys are a joy when they were little and now...well lets just say they are no picnic. No matter how little a child is they will grow and learn how to push your buttons. My 5 yrs old is easy but he is high maintenece and has to have attention. My 2 yr old is (WOW) very hard, alot of independence and has NO patience. ITs funny since my 2 boys on their birth sign is a Ram and a BUll. Lovely huh.
Now I dread samara growing up and acting like them. Anyways the point is DO NOT feel guilty for having frustrations and expectations of your child. It is normal.
I hope all goes well and maybe things will get easier. Isee Nicky is only 1 yr older than mine and you are in the tough stage. It will get better later I promise.

Sandra 23
Michael Abron ( fiance)
Elijah Kristopher Michael Abron ( 43 wks no complications) 5/6/99
Isaiah Liam Abron ( 37 wks PE and Preterm labor) 3/25/02
Samara Juliyana Abron ( 35 wks PIH and poss PE ) 7/21/04

wcarder
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Re : For parents of older preemies...

Postby wcarder » Tue Aug 24, 2004 01:10 pm

Aimee -
When I finally got to hold my noodle for the first time, I had two thoughts-this close together and in this order:

Oh my god, I love her so much I could break open...

and then ~

I can't believe she's going to hate me someday.

Although we've had a pretty easy road so far, she is getting more difficult as she gets older. It's so hard to watch them grow up and be independent and stubborn and manipulative and...mean. But just because you get fed up doesn't mean you are taking him for granted. Every parent gets to a point where they have had enough. Maybe he realizes, as he gets older, that he's your special boy, your "miracle", and for that he can get away with more. I'm sure he's just pushing you. My Kenzie has me completely figured out. She knows how far she can go, and she takes it there, because I have let her get away with a lot, because of the circumstances she was born under. I can be SCREAMING at her, and she looks at me and says "I love you mom., I need a hug..." It's hard to discipline a kid who is that clever, and who really was such a miracle, without feeling guilt.

Anyway, I'm sure you are harder on yourself than he is. That's our job, as mommies. We have guilt. Can't help it. I spanked Kenzie's butt once - and not because I lost control, but because I told her I would. I said "I'm counting to three, and then I'm spanking your butt..." I got to three and thought...crap. now what? so, i felt obligated. I had to or she would never take me seriously. Long story short, I cried all the way to day care that morning, told her teachers what I did, cried all the way to work, told my whole office what I did - It was AWFUL.

I really think our preemie's have got us figured out. They can bring on the guilt like it's their job. Don't be too hard on yourself. you couldn't possibly take him for granted - you are here every day, knowing how lucky you are to have him, and helping other people in similar situations. Chin up young person. (:

Wendy
DD~ Kenzie Celeste, 30 weeks GA, severe PE.

aimeejane
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For parents of older preemies...

Postby aimeejane » Tue Aug 24, 2004 12:53 am

Do you ever feel like you're taking them for granted? Nicky and I are at such odds so often. He's so exasperating much of the time, and I don't help matters by getting frustrated with it very quickly. (I'm working on that, and doing much better, but it's hard...)

And, of course, when I have time to sit down and think about it, or when I see pictures of him as a baby, or catch a glimpse of his preemie doll, or hear about another baby coming home from the NICU, I feel so guilty. I know, I really do, that I shouldn't feel it, but it's there nonetheless. No child is perfect or an angel, so why do I feel like I'm taking him for granted...like since he's my miracle baby we should be 100% happy all the time? Talk about an unrealistic expectation, huh???

And then I look at Kalen, and I dread the day he's old enough to tick me off like that! Just knowing that it's going to happen is heartbreaking.

Sorry to vent it all out. Sometimes it just has to come out to people who might understand. Thanks!

Aimee
Georgia State Coordinator
Moderator - Pregnant Again

Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)


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