Thats exactly how I feel. Its so hard not to get envious of the 'perfect' pregnancy. Right now among my collegues, there a 4 or 5 pregnant women. They are all due in the next 2 or 3 months. I just heard that one of the women just now went to her 1st, yes FIRST, OB appointment at the beginning of her 3rd trimester. Its her 3rd or 4th baby - just routine to them, I suppose. These moms-to-be are so lucky, they are able to work, exercise, feel great, and some of them take off, oh, 2 weeks for delivery, and are back on their feet like nothing happened.
I suppose I'm still somewhat grieving from the loss of the pregnancy that I had hoped. I was ready for a natural birth. I was going to be one of those mothers that would be strong and be able to handle any pain, tough! I was seeing a midwife, reading books about all kinds of natural birth positions, water birth, etc. But, I didn't even get to go to one birthing class. I was hosipitalized the day of the 1st class and had my baby 4 days later...
Will I ever get over being envious, no, probably not. But, I'm learning how to be happy for others' miracles, because no matter how a baby comes, all babies are miracles! [:D]
I think there is just still this ignorance in the general public about how a pregnancy should go. I was visiting a church and the preacher made a joke about this woman, who was pregnant. I don't remember what the reason was, but he said something like, well, she should just have the baby early because of such in such. I was appalled at the time that he could have been so careless. But, maybe I was being overly sensitive. But, then I went back several weeks later, and she HAD had the baby early and they were praying for the mother and baby.
And, many people think the only way to have a baby early is because of early onset labor or twins or drugs. I had a social worker come up to me in the NICU. I had lots of bruises on my arms from IVs and such. She thought I was a drug addict and constantly I was pushed literature on how to be a good parent, because obviously, having a preemie, I couldn't take care of my body! [:(!]
Anyway, can you feel the anger? Its still here, even after 5 yrs. Fading, but there.
Nathanial 5 yr PE/HELLP 27 wks, 1 lb 10 oz
Jonathan 2 yr PIH/low fluid 32 wks, 4 lb 8 oz