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Help--Not sure if I'm overreacting

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.

Help--Not sure if I'm overreacting

Postby dmacwith » Thu Sep 23, 2004 10:40 am

Hi...this is my first post...I just found your website & WOW how cool. I only wish I would have found sooner. My son Leo was born at 28 weeks weighing only 2 lbs. He is now 6 and in first grade, and having a terrible time of it. I'm having him evaluated for ADD, and by a developmental peditrician. I just want to see if anyone else has had similiar issues, or what (if anything) is know about the long term effects of all the medication & stimuli may have on our children. Any comments are appreciated.

dmacwith
Leo 4-25-98 28 wks--PE
Raymond 11-20-01 39 wks-No complications
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Re : Help--Not sure if I'm overreacting

Postby jenn » Thu Sep 23, 2004 10:49 am

Hi and welcome!
Wow a 28 wkr. Your in good company here.
Sorry to hear of your recent concern :o(
But I also know that your not alone. I've heard others speak of a connection with their preemie and ADD.
I hope one of them chimes in here soon to give you some insight.
Again, Welcome and don't be a stranger.
Lots of love- Jenn

Jennie (25)
Shad (29)
Jaidyn (3) @30 wks
Severe PE/HELLP
2lb. 12oz.
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/jaid/

Natalia Rosse
Due: 11.25.04
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/n/nataliarosse/

http://www.ofoto.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?Ucollid=182798555105&Uphotoid=588409555105&collid=182798555105
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Re : Help--Not sure if I'm overreacting

Postby deerhart » Thu Sep 23, 2004 11:02 am

Hi
my oldest son (who I was sickest with) has been diagnosed with an expressive speech delay and we still haven't completely ruled out (or in) ADD/ADHD and PDD.

We really cant tell if part of it was the PE or if its simply hereditary.

Erin

Moderator - Parents of Preemies
Missouri State Coordinator
Mommy to Alex (4)and Mason (1 1/2)
Law Student - 1 year done, 2 to go
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Re : Help--Not sure if I'm overreacting

Postby wcarder » Thu Sep 23, 2004 11:10 am

Welcome!
Well, Preemie's are certainly at risk for learning and behavioral delays/disabilities. ADHD/ADD can also be genetic, as well. It's good that you are having him screened, and I think the topic of meds is often quite a debate, but I have a good friend who has her little boy on meds, and although he continues to have problems, he is doing MUCH better now that his ADHD is being controlled. she also has him seeing a child psych. because he was diagnosed with a behavioral disorder. I know how draining it can be for her, she is often in tears over it, so I can imagine how hard things may be for you right now. Anyway, it's great that you are looking into diagnoses and treatment, and I really feel like if you have the right doc, you guys will be able to make a plan for Leo that really helps him. Good luck!!!

Wendy

DD~ Kenzie Celeste, 30 weeks GA, severe PE
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Re : Help--Not sure if I'm overreacting

Postby dmacwith » Thu Sep 23, 2004 12:39 am

Thanks for the support...I think a lot of my problem, is that I have tucked away the heartache & stress of his birth and considered him "normal" for such along time now, I'm having to deal w/ a lot of the emotion that I supressed then, because I had to "deal" and be strong for him. I think this forum is a great way to remind parents that are lucky enough to have their children survive the NICU and apnea monitors and the countless Dr. visits, that they may not be "caught up" by age 2. I'll keep you posted on our progress & what if anything is determined. I have a lot of reservations about medication, because of how much meds he has been on already in his life, but this may be the answer. Thanks again.

dmacwith
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Re : Help--Not sure if I'm overreacting

Postby aimeejane » Thu Sep 23, 2004 02:02 pm

dmacwith,

Welcome! We've discussed this topic before, so it's definitely on a lot of our minds! Some of the research I found says that micro preemies have a 50% higher chance of AD(H)D than other kids. Good luck with your testing. I'm going to post a link to other discussions we've had:

http://www.preeclampsia.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1687&SearchTerms=ADD,,,ADHD

http://www.preeclampsia.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3827&SearchTerms=ADD,,,ADHD

http://www.preeclampsia.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4396&SearchTerms=ADD,,,ADHD

HUGS!! We'll go through this with you! You're never out of the preemie parenting "club," no matter how long it's been!! [;)]

Aimee
Georgia State Coordinator
Moderator - Pregnant Again

Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)
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Re : Help--Not sure if I'm overreacting

Postby wcarder » Fri Sep 24, 2004 06:19 am

Aimee....I gotta learn how to find those threads....I was hoping someone would get her those!!!

dmacwith ~ I think your comments about suppressing the emotional trauma caused by Leo's birth are EXTREMELY perceptive. The fact that you are becoming aware of it is tremendous. Anyway, I just wanted to say that whatever comes to be with the difficulties Leo is having, and whatever plan of action you choose for him, we will be here!!!

Wendy

DD~ Kenzie Celeste, 30 weeks GA, severe PE
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Re : Help--Not sure if I'm overreacting

Postby deerhart » Fri Sep 24, 2004 08:53 am

Deciding to medicate can be very very hard and there are lots of factors that can play into it, age, behavior etc.. It took my aunt and uncle almost 6 years to finally decide to medicate their son and once they made that decision, when their daughter started showing the same signs they felt more comfertable putting her on medication.

As for the whole "normal" child. It simply doesn't exist. Instead of looking at it from everyone else's child is normal, we have had to look at it as well what is normal for us. In my family it is NOT normal for a child to be quiet, calm, well behaved, following every direction given to them. Instead, it is normal to be loud, stubborn, pushy, demanding, overactive, fun loving, curious, and eager. There is no way I could or should expect my children to be anything less.

I also find it extremely interesting watching my youngest son do the same things Alex did at his age, yet because he doesn't have a language delay they aren't considered signs of other problems. my youngest son waves his arms and spins himself, toe walks, has ritualistic behavior, etc.. to an extent FAR FAR beyond what Alex ever did (in fact he never spun or toe walked) yet for Alex they were all signs of problems and not just normal toddler/preschooler behavior.

It took me a long time to learn to enjoy my oldest son. he's a hard kid to deal with and he makes my life very complicated at times, but in all honesty he is so well worth it and seeing his progress and how far he has come has just been amazing.

Erin

Moderator - Parents of Preemies
Missouri State Coordinator
Mommy to Alex (4)and Mason (1 1/2)
Law Student - 1 year done, 2 to go
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Re : Help--Not sure if I'm overreacting

Postby samarasmom » Fri Sep 24, 2004 12:07 am

My little brother was 4 when my aunt medicated him. he ended up with Tourette Syndrome from the meds. MAke sure your peds believe that is what the best action is. Elijah was diagnosed with ADHD but his is mild so I was showed the best way to work with him. I choose not to medicate him at this time and his doc supports that decision. As long as you recognize the problem and dont dismiss it and do what is best for your family ( meds or not) then you are okay. I dont have alot of high expectations that I would normally have for him. I acknowledge that he needs more guidence and we try to help him out and dont get upset when he has trouble paying attention.

i hope that it all works out.

Sandra 23
Michael Abron ( fiance)
Elijah Kristopher Michael Abron ( 43 wks no complications) 5/6/99
Isaiah Liam Abron ( 37 wks PE and Preterm labor) 3/25/02
Samara Juliyana Abron ( 35 wks PIH and poss PE ) 7/21/04
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