Need advice...at my wits end!

So, the baby's born, what comes next? Discuss your postpartum and parenting concerns here.
Guest
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Re : Need advice...at my wits end!

Postby Guest » Thu Jun 30, 2005 02:36 pm

He has a ton of things to keep him entertained in there. He shouldn't have any trouble keeping himself occupied, but of course the first thing he does when he wakes up is want to eat. He's always been like that. I think it comes from him being a preemie and we had him on a schedule where he ate every three hours and so we use to have to wake him to feed him. All in all though I'm pleased with how it went this morning. So I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that it stays. His clingyness has also gotten a little better. I had decided yesterday that I was going to be stricker with him and I couldn't carry him around the house anymore, and he needed to give me a little space so I could wash bottles and do some laundry, things that had to be done. I just had to tell him a couple of times that I wasn't able to pick him up, but I would when I was finished, and he seemed ok with it. I think I'm having a harder time dealing with than he is!

Deidre (34)Chronic Hypertension
Jason (32)

Hunter born 1/27/03 @ 32 weeks due to PE 3lbs 12 ounces.
Lillian born 04/27/05 @ 38 weeks 6 lbs 15 ounces PE FREE!

tahoe4
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Re : Need advice...at my wits end!

Postby tahoe4 » Thu Jun 30, 2005 02:26 pm

Do you have toys or books in your son's room? Maybe he would read books or play with toys when he gets up. My two and a half year old reads books until we go in to get her. We close her door at night and she never tries to open it. She always reads her books until we come in to get her. Maybe put something to entertain him in his room would help to keep him occupied for a while??

Stephanie

Casey - DD born 12/25/02 at 6 weeks premature due to eclampsia
Bella - DD born 6/4/04 at 38 weeks. No complications from pre-eclampsia at all!

deerhart
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Re : Need advice...at my wits end!

Postby deerhart » Thu Jun 30, 2005 06:44 am

Deidre

They can blak at it after a while, but we were able to work through it and continue using the gate. It really didn't get to be a problem until Alex learned to climb over them and how to take them down LOL. But since we also had Mason we were able to explain that it wasn't to keep him out of anywhere but to keep Mason away from him or out of somewhere and he accepted it (even if the gate was to keep him in his room and to keep Mason out ;P)
We still keep a gate up all night so Mason doesn't roam the house and Alex just climbs over it when he gets up. In fact, we have actually BROKEN Alex of getting up in the middle of the night and sleeping in our bed. He hasn't done it in almost a month now (YEAH!!!!!!). I suspect the way Mason is that I have about another 6-9 months of the gate before he successfully starts climbing over it (sometimes big bro's can teach BAD things LOL) and then we will have to figure something else out (I can't double gate anymore because Alex needs to be able to get out to use the restroom, which is what we did when Alex first learned to climb over and we weren't ready for him to have access to the house)

Erin

Missouri State Coordinator
Mommy to Alex (5)and Mason (2 1/2)
Law Student - final year!

Guest
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Re : Need advice...at my wits end!

Postby Guest » Thu Jun 30, 2005 06:36 am

thanks guys. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one suffering! But we did use the baby gate last night and I have to say I LOVE IT! It made my morning so much easier. He didn't get up after we put him to bed last night, and he stayed in bed until 6:15 this morning, and my morning went much smoother. Let's hope he keeps it up.

Deidre (34)Chronic Hypertension
Jason (32)

Hunter born 1/27/03 @ 32 weeks due to PE 3lbs 12 ounces.
Lillian born 04/27/05 @ 38 weeks 6 lbs 15 ounces PE FREE!

mikeys mom
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Re : Need advice...at my wits end!

Postby mikeys mom » Wed Jun 29, 2005 05:30 pm

My child never played in his crib when he was up he was up. We transitioned him into a bed when I got pregnant so that we would have plenty of time to get him use to it before the baby. He stillw akes up in the middle of the night now he comes running into me and shuts his door behind him so I have to get out of bed open the door for him and put him back in bed. He wakes up between 5:30-7:30 every morning, usually though around 6am. Once he is up he is up. I have no advice I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Sleeping issues is my nemesis.



Shannon
Mikey 12-29-02 29weeks 6 days pre-e & Hellp
Baby 2 edd (Somewhere between July 28 and August 6)

deerhart
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Re : Need advice...at my wits end!

Postby deerhart » Wed Jun 29, 2005 04:35 pm

Hrm it does sound like he is sort of feeling replaced. Have you tried talking to him aobut how gorwn up he is getting and then giving him some chores to do, epseically ones that deal with the baby (make him mommy's helper). If that works you can then move to him being mommy's helper by doing x while your changing your clothes and then doing y for mommy while she makes dinner (even if its keeping an eye on the baby while playing).
We had some serious probelms wiht ALex not liking Mason when he came (to the point of telling Mason to go away all the time) but eventually as we had him help more with Mason and gave Alex special chores, time etc.. (and talked about all the things he could do and Mason couldn't) he came to enjoy his position as big bro a lot more and became more accepting of Mason (and now we get told we can't discipline mason because he's Alex's best friend and it makes Alex sad)

Erin

Missouri State Coordinator
Mommy to Alex (5)and Mason (2 1/2)
Law Student - final year!

madeleine
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Re : Need advice...at my wits end!

Postby madeleine » Wed Jun 29, 2005 04:22 pm

Dierdre, wish I had some magic solution (our babies are roughly the same age) so I understand what you're going through -- we're trying to stay sensitive to the fact our three yr.old's life had changed dramatically but it's so hard when he comes charging in WAY too early in the morning.... I think I'll try the gate!

Madeleine

Miles 9/13/90
Graham 1/6/92
Benjamin 5/22/02, severe preeclampsia, 33 weeks
Fiona 4/19/05, 37 weeks,PIH, bedrest for two months

meg hanrahan
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Re : Need advice...at my wits end!

Postby meg hanrahan » Wed Jun 29, 2005 12:55 am

If Isabella wakes up before 6 am, she knows that we are not getting out of bed. She can lie with us but we aren't getting up. I try and put off getting up until Katie is crying from her crib or 6.20, which ever comes first. (The girls share a room with Isabella in a bed and Katie in a crib). Usually though, my husband in in the shower at 6.20 and I get the girls dressed for daycare, make my lunch, and give them some cereal to eat. DH gets out of shower, I get in. He deals with them if necessary. We get dressed with the girls underfoot - although have to admit that recently Isabella will watch some PBS show. We all get out of the house at 7a. Isabella will ask for milk or to brush her teeth and we tell her she needs to wait. She and I often brush our teeth together. Katie is running around the house during the morning. Some mornings are more hectic - others more calm. The key is that I set the routine early so that the girls are use to me saying "mommy's going in the shower now," while they sit and snack on some Cheerios. They usually finish once DH is dressed and finishing up so he can deal with them instead of me. If you try and establish a routine that might help. I never thought to put a gate at the girls' room. It doesn't bother me if Isabella gets up at 5.30 and ends up in our bed - probably because it is very rare. (Today I had to wake the girls up at 6.20!) Good luck!

Meg
Isabella 11/11/2002 (34 weeks, severe pe)
Katie 4/21/2004 (full term, no pe)
#3 Due 7/29/2005

Guest
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Re : Need advice...at my wits end!

Postby Guest » Wed Jun 29, 2005 12:27 am

We've tried putting him to bed later, but he still wakes up at 5:30 and comes into bed with us. And then my alarm goes off, and off we go to another hectic morning. The thing of it is, I think he's a little jealous of Lily, and he's very demanding of my time. I fell bad for him and I try to spend as much time with him that I possible can. And I've even given up doing things like making dinner. I use to be able to come home from work and cook dinner and then spend time with him after I finished, but now the second I get home he wants my undivided attention, and he wont even let me change clothes with out thowing a fit. I'm hoping it's something he'll outgrow, but it's been going on for a couple of weeks now, and we might have to take some action soon. I can't go on with the way it's going now. my husband tries to help and he'll get up, but Hunter only wants me.

Deidre (34)Chronic Hypertension
Jason (32)

Hunter born 1/27/03 @ 32 weeks due to PE 3lbs 12 ounces.
Lillian born 04/27/05 @ 38 weeks 6 lbs 15 ounces PE FREE!

deerhart
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Re : Need advice...at my wits end!

Postby deerhart » Wed Jun 29, 2005 11:50 am

We use baby gates though my youngest is up at around 7-7:30 am regardless of when he went to sleep. He will usually yell at me if I am still in the shower and then I let him out and get his breakfast and a cartoon so I can finish getting dressed and then get up his older bro. Usually he only yells because he's hungry and wants breakfast (otherwise he's more then happy to play for a little bit in his room)

Though, both my kids went into big boy beds at around 12-15 months as they had pretty much either outgrown or destroyed their cribs by that age, so they have had lots of practice at it.

You could tyr putting him to bed later in hopes that will move his wake up time later (it works on my oldest not my youngest).

Other then that, I typically just have him at my feet (or trying to climb in the shower like this morning and after being told no running around the house naked hehe) He can want all he wants he just doesn't get and I have grown quite adapt at not paying much attention to I want this or that after the first request.

GL


Erin

Missouri State Coordinator
Mommy to Alex (5)and Mason (2 1/2)
Law Student - final year!


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