At the end of this fun e-mail, see an invitation to share your child's funny/crazy child safety story!
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 400 sq. ft. bedroom 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Attention All Parents who see this:
The previous short stories are a sample of the wonderful, alarming and zany child safety stories we've been sent. SkyKing Safety is in search of fun, funny or important (not always funny...) family stories about child safety. We often incorporate these stories into our child safety programs (and hope to incorporate them into our website) to lighten them up or highlight a specific safety issue. If you have a funny or important story about a "near miss" or an "Oh my gosh!" incident with your young child you'd like to share, we'd love to hear about it. And who knows, your child's ingenuity and imagination may help other families get a laugh and learn more about child safety.
All stories sent to us are accepted with our sincerest thanks. We reserve the right to share or re-print any or none of the stories sent to us. This offer is an opportunity to share your funny story to a wider audience and help other parents. No financial incentive is being offered or will be considered. All stories become property of SkyKing Safety. We produce child safety program which are taught at three major Hospitals in the Seattle area. Feel free to contact us with any additional questions.
Please forward to any friends with children who might get a chuckle and a smile out of this.
So, the baby's born, what comes next? Discuss your postpartum and parenting concerns here.
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