Potty training woes

[mada]

Hi Girls.
Okay, I am getting so frustrated and need some advice. My 3 year old (sam) was for a while doing great with the potty thing. But now, he has been having tons of accidents and won't go unless I remind him. It's awful...I can't put him in any schools I like because they require your child to be potty trained and I don't think he will go accident free. Sometimes he will have a good day but he is so inconstitant I am at a loss...I shouldn't have to remind him still!! ANy advice? Thanks!!!

Mada Harpster

Sam 6-29-00 36weeks P.E.
Ben 11-03-01 No P.E.

[catherine]

Oh Mada, I can help! It's incentive time... Finn was like this too. You need to get out the stickers and a chart. We told Finn that when he went 10 days without an accident then we'd take him to Toys 'R Us and he could pick whatever he liked. We marked the days off with a sticker. Obviously the beginning was bumpy but after about 4 days he got the idea of consistency and things went very smoothly from there so it only took him about 2 1/2 weeks to get to the store. Miraculously.. his selection was a giant Crayola money bank in the shape of a purple crayon. Price $6.. dry underwear..priceless to paraphrase the commercial.

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors

[laura]

$6 Bank? You got off soooo easy, O'Connell! We always start the whole sticker chart thing, and three days later, we've dumped it.

BTW Mada- they do have the magnetic responsibilty charts at toys r us, too, and then you can add all sorts of impressed labor to his charts too! (I look at allie's 'make my bed' magnet, and dream... one day...)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00004WHNS/qid=1078329987/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-0927663-5920668?v=glance&s=toys

Laura
Moderator/AK Coordinator

Mom to Alicia (severe PE) 5/98 and Camille (htn, oligo) 4/03
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/c/camilleandallie/

[catherine]

You are so not kidding me Laura, I would have bought the kid the little ride-on jeep! We took the same approach to getting rid of his pacifier.. cost us $14.95 for a remote (relatively) controlled digger for his sandbox. I love kids before they understand the power of money!! Precious innocence. This is a tender topic for me right now as I am trying to persuade Lucy to train. She's much younger than Finn and isn't talking and reasoning as well as a three year old would be and it makes it harder to offer incentives.. it's more tedious repetition. On the other hand, on a good day she'll pee for stickers... Finn used to hold out for M&Ms and I hate to push candy.

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors

[sherry fisher]

Mada,
While I agree with incentives. Alex was like this as well. The comparison of girls and boys was like night and day for me! When it comes to potty training of course! :) lol He would go and hide during 'accident' time. Therefore; no accident!! Just be persistant!

Will is only 19 months and when he poops he will tell me "Shoo wee" and actually come to me and lay down to change his diaper. Should I be convinced that he will be an easy one to potty train? The baby will be here in just weeks. I was going to buy him a potty but decided to wait until he is 2. I dont want to start him now and then when the baby gets here it will be such a big change in EVERYONES routine. I am afraid if he does well now, he will be defiant in any way he can later. What do you all think?!?!? Is this too early or should I go ahead with 'big boy pants' and a potty chair??

Sherry Fisher (28)
DH: Bill (35)
Proud Mama to:
#1) Alex 1/1/94-PE
#2) Abbie 12/17/97-PIH
#3 Will 08/03/02-PP PE
#4) EDD: 4/27/04
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/babyfish3/
Pregnancy Updates, ultrasound pictures, and the countdown: http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/babyfish4/

[mada]

Thanks Gals....
I have defeniltey done the reward thing...ie. m&m's stickers ect. But maybe something visual like a chart will help!!! I am just so frustrated. He will disapear for a few minutes and come back with a nice "suprise" for me and I am getting to the point were I feel like I am getting (pardon expression and no pun intended) pissed off!!! Catherine, when did you have Finn potty trained? That magnetic chart is cool, I am going to order it for sure.... thanks Laura.
Sherry, as per potty training or not? I think every kid had a few signals when their ready. (but don't take it from me, I am obvioulsy not an expert[;)]) I read in the many many books(thanks again to Sam) about pitty training you will find better results starting after or around 24 months especially if there is change in a childs life...ahem...new baby[:D]...Anyway, I guess if he is really ready..he will do it!! Goodluck....

Mada Harpster

Sam 6-29-00 36weeks P.E.
Ben 11-03-01 No P.E.

[ctinsley]

OK! Here is what we did. After the candy, stickers, pooty books and bribes all failed....I went to the store and bought 3 or 4 small gifts and wrapped them up and put them in a basket on the bathroom counter. I let her discover them and told her that the "potty fairy" had come and left them for her, if she went potty. I told her she could open only 1 as soon as she went to the potty. They sat there for a few days and she decided to go and she got to open 1, which she was not happy with, and wanted to open them all. But, the rule was, 1 present after each trip to the potty. And before we knew it, she was a pro!
I hope this helps!

Cami

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mada

Hi Girls.
Okay, I am getting so frustrated and need some advice. My 3 year old (sam) was for a while doing great with the potty thing. But now, he has been having tons of accidents and won't go unless I remind him. It's awful...I can't put him in any schools I like because they require your child to be potty trained and I don't think he will go accident free. Sometimes he will have a good day but he is so inconstitant I am at a loss...I shouldn't have to remind him still!! ANy advice? Thanks!!!

Mada Harpster

Sam 6-29-00 36weeks P.E.
Ben 11-03-01 No P.E.

---

[catherine]

Cami, that was inspired, I'm going to try that with Lucy.. she loves unwrapping things.

Mada, Finn was 3 and 1/4, we started on Memorial day and were pretty much done by July 4. He had lapses there after which we ultimately tracked down to a "flush phobia". He was terrified of the sound of some flushes and would absolutely not go in noisy toilets. This was a problem until kindergarten when we discovered that he was persuading his classmates to come and flush the potty for him so he didn't have to be there. His dad had to take him into school and the two of them had permission to run around all the "big boy" bathrooms flushing like maniac until he was comfortable... men!!! I don't know what your routine is but I found that we had to train Finn one bathroom at a time, home first, then the daycare bathroom, then the one on the commute between daycare and home before we were rock solid on timing etc.

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors

[paljane8]

Catherine,
Don't you know the unwritten parental rule? The point of having more children is that older ones teach the younger ones how to do it! It's in that manual they give you with the new baby when you leave the hospital [;)].

Mada,
Hang in there. The only good thing is that it will be easier with Ben (knock on wood).

Nancy Eastwood
Moderator/WA State Co-Coordinator

ds-8yrs, dd-7yrs
Scott-4yrs (PE)
Janie-5/12/03 (PIH, oligo and low blood flow)
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/4/4lbs/

[catherine]

Nancy, that is a bitter subject for me. Where the heck was the manual?!!![:(!] I got zip with Finn.. no goody bag for mommies who show up a month in advance... ditto with Lucy. I didn't get anything 'till Chloe. All of a sudden, a zillion bags, a mountain of formula freebies sitting in the pantry waiting for me to finally crack but still no manual[:(]. Except the obligatory "how to breastfeed" pamphlet. That was useless, life would have been much easier if they'd included a booklist like for college. I regained my figure after Finn by walking back and forth to the Brookline Public Library and reading the baby manuals from one end of the shelf to the other as if I was cramming for an exam. FYI.. it is always easy to breastfeed in French Literature and Poetry of the 17-19th Centuries.. there's never anyone there.

I have to say... I was so unprepared for Lucy, had a refresher class for us and a sibling class for Finn scheduled.. too late. Then for Chloe, we were so afraid that something bad would happen, not to mention that the whole world and his dog thought we were experts at having kids.. she'd be our third after all, that I didn't dare even phone to set up the class. I could actually kill DH, after the Lucy experience, he thinks that babies should be delivered like tumours.. surgically! That's why I'm always curious about peoples opinions on childbirth education. It seems to me that if you don't get it right first time around, there's no way to try again, or take another approach, especially if you aren't going off the deep end with a home birth in the family paddling pool [:o)][}:)]. If I were going around again, I swear that I would try to regain control of the process, I didn't even know the way to L&D last time, I never took the tour pre-Lucy (would have been part of the darned class) and left that floor on the flat of my back in bed..... I do think that something positive was stolen from us even though things went so well. We forgot to take pictures or even relax enough to celebrate... endless fear, especially when it proves groundless, shadows and undermines the joy of the process. We really held back on Chloe's birth and delivery, no real preparations, no efforts at a picture on the spot etc. I know that these are trivial things in comparison to leaving the hospital with a healthy baby and on your own two feet.. but I still say... be greedy, try and have it all!

Wooohaaa Nelly, I guess I touched a nerve I wasn't aware off..[B)][:I]. Oh well, all you "bloomers", learn from my mistake, bring the camera and the other stuff and don't be afraid to labor to the song of the whales, or failing that "Dusty in Memphis". I swore upsidedown that I was going to listen to that all through labor when I discovered that on my third pregnancy... an m/c and two babies later... the disc is still sitting there. I'll happily burn a copy for anyone willing to do it in my place[:D].

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors