I too always wanted at least four, and just had my third. My first was 33weeks PE, and my second 36weeks I had preterm labor and PIH=bedrest for 4 months, and third was born at 36 weeks preterm labor and PE=bedrest for 5 months. So my hubby and family says they will be standing in line to kick my butt if I get pregnant again, and I verbally agree with them, but deep inside I still long for at least one more! I didn't get my tube(I only have one left) tied when I had my c section because I've had two tubal preg. so I'm at high risk for them, and even with tied tubes, you can still have a tubal preg., so I told my hubby he would have to get fixed, and he agreed to it. But I might just go on the pill a while to put it off, I keep thinking maybe if I wait five years the others will all be in school all day, and bedrest wouldn't be so bad, and maybe by then more research will be done preventing preterm labor and PE. Probably wishful thinking, but a girl can dream can't she. It does feel horrible when we feel we are making a decision because we are forced to and not because we want to! I definitely relate with your feelings, and I am torn about giving away my girl clothes(I just had a boy). I think I will save some of my favorites and give majority away(styles will change in five years anyway, right?) Well, good luck with all!