Help, my baby is a crier ** long**

So, the baby's born, what comes next? Discuss your postpartum and parenting concerns here.
fiona
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Re : Help, my baby is a crier ** long**

Postby fiona » Tue Dec 09, 2008 02:02 am

Maria - Sofia sounds like Sacha. He screamed blue murder unless he was being held, or rocked or fed, for what seemed like forever. We swaddled, using a sling and he spent a goodly amount of time in a Fisher price musiacl swing someone loaned us. He would only nap in the swing - he never slept in a car seat, or a stroller.

Like the others have said, six weeks is really way too early to be setting a routine or worrying about spoiling. Hopefully your MIL remembers what this stage is like and will be able to handle it.


alviarin
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Re : Help, my baby is a crier ** long**

Postby alviarin » Mon Dec 08, 2008 10:09 pm

Maria, I'm sorry you are having a rough time.

My son also cried unless he was held, and ate frequently for the first three months, including at night. I invested in a baby carrier to save my arms. We finally found that he liked the swing that went from side to side, which gave us a little bit of a break. I tried ten different brands of pacifier before giving up.

In terms of how to set up a sleep schedule and what is "normal" for different ages I like the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Once my kiddo was ready to sleep for longer stretches at a time (after the 3 month mark for my son) I found it useful.

Hang in there. I think it is impossible to spoil them when they are this little. My son was very clingy as an infant but very independent as a toddler and now preschooler. HTH!

jen44
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Re : Help, my baby is a crier ** long**

Postby jen44 » Mon Dec 08, 2008 09:37 pm

oh Maria, we are living parallel lives!!! our babies are virtually the same age and he is JUST as yours is described in all ways you've talked about - doesn't like the paci, HATES being swaddled with a passion, cluster feeds, has terrible gas, cries unless being held and even then he has episodes where nothing will help. he's totally opposite from my oldest son as an infant and i'm awestruck by how challenging he has been for us! i don't really have any advice since i'm dealing with the same thing right now but i do know it will get better and i don't let him cry because i believe he needs to know i'm here for him right now and strengthening our bond of trust is so important, you can't spoil a newborn. he's been sleeping in bed with me since he won't sleep anywhere else and my DH has been on the couch for 7 weeks now. its been so hard. i just tell myself it will get better in time and these days will be over soon. (((Hugs)))

aundapenner
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Re : Help, my baby is a crier ** long**

Postby aundapenner » Mon Dec 08, 2008 06:03 pm

(((HUGS)))

We had a cryer too! But we ended up being diagnosed with reflux, a dairy allergy AND colic! Yikes!

On top of that, because he was 6 weeks early, he got overstimulated VERY easily.

BUT - IMHO, she just is learning to communicate with you and DH. And unfortunately for us, crying is a baby's only method.

I agree with others - the CIO method may work with older babies, but she's too young.

My advice:

Stop worrying about what will happen when you go back to work. I mean, worry about it, but recognize that IF she gets into a routine right now, it WILL change by then! Routines well, like Kara said, they change.

Trust your mommy instincts. You know what she wants/needs (and right now, it's all about needs - she cannot be spoiled). I'm amazed to this day at my instincts. Like you, I questioned everything that I was doing and tried so many different things. In hindsight, I think had I stuck with 1 or 2 ideas, Henry might have been "easier" for me. We "tried" swaddling - but in all honesty, we never gave it a chance. I still have problems with consistency - and I'm learning that the more consistent I am, the more consistent he is.

So I guess that's my last piece of advice - consistency. Before deciding that the paci isn't working, really give it a chance. Same thing with swaddling. Or with nursing or whatever you decide.

BTW - Henry still is comforted with nursing. As tiring as it would get, it was the one thing and still is the one thing I can always count on for our bond.

OK. I lied. I have one last piece of advice. Be gentle and kind to yourself. You've been through a lot these past few years. You have a beautiful little girl with you with 3 older brothers watching over her. If you suspect any type of PPD (and post-partum depression tends to be identified as ANY depression that happens up to 1 year after birth), talk to your doctor. It took me a long time to admit that I was being harder on me than anyone else. And even longer to admit that I had PPD.

I promise - it WILL get better! And you're doing a great job momma!!!

(((hugs)))


crystalw
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Re : Help, my baby is a crier ** long**

Postby crystalw » Mon Dec 08, 2008 05:19 pm

Have you ever heard of/tried gripe water?? I know some of my friends have used it and swear by it!

hols537
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Re : Help, my baby is a crier ** long**

Postby hols537 » Mon Dec 08, 2008 05:17 pm

Take a deep breath! Babies crying tends to increase until they are 6-8 weeks old and then it diminishes - so what she's doing is normal. From what I've read, you don't need to worry about spoiling her by holding her all the time. At that age, they are just learning that their needs will be met and all the holding/responding now will result in less crying later. That's what I've done with both my boys and my older one is very independant now (personally, I think it's more about personality than attention). I highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. He has lots of helpful information on how to help your baby sleep better and to calm fussy babies.

She'll probably start to develop her own routine soon. My 12 week old has just started developing his night and morning routing. Day/afternoon are still totally unpredictable.

Like Sonja said, it gets better all the time - especially when she's smiling and laughing!

kara
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Re : Help, my baby is a crier ** long**

Postby kara » Mon Dec 08, 2008 05:11 pm

You can't spoil an infant of this age, and the "crying it out" strategy works with older infants, but not at this age. I would suggest swaddling, and swaddling tightly. That was one of the best things we found for our little one at this age. She may also have some reflux (which is worse at night), if she's extra fussy at bedtime. Sometimes this goes away on it's own by around 8 weeks of age or so. Sucking keeps the reflux(colic) down, but babies at this age are also just soothed by sucking on something. So, hard to say.

If you can find one of those swaddler blankets with the velcro tabs, they are amazing. If not, get a blanket that is a little stretchy (knitted ones work well) and swaddle arms and legs, but keep it at shoulder level or below so the blanket doesn't get into her face. It may take a little time for her to adjust to the swaddling, but it always helped settled my little one down, especially at night.

We were "baby centered", which meant, whatever schedule baby was on, is what we were on...so no help there. I think it's difficult to put a baby this age on a schedule. I know that doesn't help either. Either to twelve weeks things generally start to get easier.

sonja
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Re : Help, my baby is a crier ** long**

Postby sonja » Mon Dec 08, 2008 05:00 pm

I totally had no routine with my girls either - they ate when they wanted to and slept when they were ready. My first baby was also a cryer - and she was LOUD! To this day (she is almost 7) she always wants to be on me - my dh blames it on the fact that I held her all of the time when she was little. You have to remember that at this age they are changing so much so fast that as soon as you think that you have a routine they are on to the next one. Believe me - it gets better all of the time!

Take care.

mrs. sagara
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Help, my baby is a crier ** long**

Postby mrs. sagara » Mon Dec 08, 2008 04:34 pm

Hi, everyone. I am the one who posted that my baby hasn't smiled.
She is 6 wks old almost 7. She was born 3 wks premature.
She loves to eat when she's awake or suck, does not like the pacifier yet, so it's either my finger or my breast or bottle.
Other than that she will cry, and cry and cry. She will not stay in the bouncer, swing or playard. Only in my arms or my husband's.
My husband thinks I spoil her and that I should let her cry it out.
I have tried but I give up when I hear her crying get hoarse, which is about 10 min. into crying.

Is this normal? Is there a type of pacifier better than others that she might like? Is there anything else that I can do?

I am scared because come January I go back to work and my mother in law will be visiting for a month to take care of her and I want to prepare the baby to be ok without so much attention.

Also, she sleeps alot which I know is normal except at night she will not sleep until 12 or 1 in the morning. Since I am not working I can handle it, but I am afraid how it will be when I go back to work.
I have tried keeping her awake after 5 or 6 pm to see if she will sleep at 9 or 10 but it hasn't work. Either she cries and cries, or if she sucks on my finger she will be in a half-asleep half-awake state. If she hangs in there and I try to make her go to sleep at 9 or 10 she will fall asleep for maybe 15 min and wake up again all the way to 12 or 1 am when she finally falls asleep.

We really have no routine. It is all based on when she wakes up to feed. We went through cluster feedings last week due to a growth spurt and it has been worse since then.

I would love to hear some examples of routines or how to set up a routine.

Thank you ladies


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