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A little sad there will only be 2

So, the baby's born, what comes next? Discuss your postpartum and parenting concerns here.

A little sad there will only be 2

Postby hols537 » Sat Oct 03, 2009 02:32 pm

by hols537 (1031 Posts), Sat Oct 03, 2009 02:32 pm

I apologize in advance, as this is a bit long...

As you probably know, I had my tubes tied when Jonathan was born. My doctors and I thought it was best that I never get pregnant again (between the classic c/s, scarring, preterm labor and PE risks). I don't ever want to be pregnant again either. So, I don't regret my decision. But...

A lot of my friends are pregnant right now and many are having their 3rd kids. Jonathan just turned 1 and Alexander started preschool. I'm beginning to get that feeling that "just one more" would be nice. Adoption is not something we consider an option (my family had a bad experience with it once and my husband just does not like the idea), so we're definitely done. But I'm sad. I love my boys and would never change that, of course, but I always wanted a little girl. Babies smell so nice (yeah, they keep you up, but they're so cute).

My husband doesn't really understand the feeling. Neither do my friends. I figured this is one of the few places where people can truly understand why there will only be 2 and why I'm sad about it.

How have you dealt with this sadness if you've made a similar decision?
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Re : A little sad there will only be 2

Postby sheri-ct » Sat Oct 03, 2009 03:01 pm

by sheri-ct (685 Posts), Sat Oct 03, 2009 03:01 pm

My baby is only 8 days old and I'm sad there won't ever be another. I feel so blessed to have 3 healthy children, but it's still sad knowing I'll never be pregnant again. I'm trying to cherish every stage. Hugs to you. Even when you are making the right decision for you and your family, it is still really sad at the same time.

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Re : A little sad there will only be 2

Postby trish » Sat Oct 03, 2009 05:34 pm

by trish (2949 Posts), Sat Oct 03, 2009 05:34 pm

DH has made things permanent for us (we did it while I was still pregnant with #3) & even being 40 it's hard to accept that our family is complete. Especially now that Ali is acting less and less like a baby & is closer & closer to being 2. I see tiny babies or big pregnant bellies and it's hard knowing that is past us.

But I never expected to even have #3 & knew we were done at 2 (until we had one little oops) so I feel very grateful to have all 3 of my girls. I'm getting past it by looking forward to all the things we can do when our schedule isn't set by when we have to home for nap. Or when all are old enough to ride their own bikes. Or when they are all in school & I can have some good quality "me" time again. Just having no one in diapers anymore is something for me to look forward to. It's been 6 solid years of one (or 2) in diapers here!! 6 months or so from now we could be diaper free!! :)
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Re : A little sad there will only be 2

Postby nicolea » Sat Oct 03, 2009 05:39 pm

by nicolea (17 Posts), Sat Oct 03, 2009 05:39 pm


My 3rd one really gives us a run for our money! We had our 2 boys and were perfectly content, then we got our girl. We needed a bigger car, bigger house, bigger kitchen table. I knew I was done at 2. Then I was done at 3. There are times that I still think about how much she's going to miss out on by not having a sister. I miss snuggling a baby. I miss nursing. I miss their smell.

My husband had a vasectomy after our DD was born and I was also sad. Now that some time has gone by, I'm relieved. It forces me to enjoy the ones I have and keep them my "babies." I was sad about not being pregnant again which is how I became a gestational surrogate.

It's never easy to close a chapter. I'm struggling with it myself (the pregnancy part, not the kid part).

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Re : A little sad there will only be 2

Postby mnmom » Sat Oct 03, 2009 05:42 pm

by mnmom (1419 Posts), Sat Oct 03, 2009 05:42 pm

Holly, I think many of us feel that way; no matter how many children or how old they are. Even me- with one in grad school, one in college, one in kindergarten and one in preschool! I was happy, but sad watching my big three year old head off to school, knowing that this is it!
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Re : A little sad there will only be 2

Postby jamie w » Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:06 am

by jamie w (978 Posts), Wed Oct 07, 2009 11:06 am

I struggle often with this too. The main thing I remind myself of is that no matter how many more I have, they will grow up too and I will never have an eternal "baby" which is what I miss- the baby things.
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Re : A little sad there will only be 2

Postby amanda » Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:33 am

by amanda (2216 Posts), Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:33 am

Oh I so understand this feeling! Everytime I turn around some else is pregnant! I try to enjoy their pregnancies with them - offer to help - sometimes that fills that need. I also have volunteered at the hospital for holding the babies in the NICU (sometimes they allow it and sometimes they don't due to HIPPA). But you are right - the smell, the soft skin - nothing better.

But that said, there is something to them growing up and being independent- mostly sleep!
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Re : A little sad there will only be 2

Postby my3girls » Fri Oct 09, 2009 05:07 pm

by my3girls (6 Posts), Fri Oct 09, 2009 05:07 pm

I also feel this way. My third is only 7 weeks old and I am sad watching how fast she is already growing know that she will most likely be my last. I had to go thru fertility treatments for both her and the twins and have made the decision not to go thru anymore, but if a miracle would happen I would welcome another. :O) My family thinks I am nuts so I'm glad others understand.
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Re : A little sad there will only be 2

Postby joker » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:20 am

by joker (1212 Posts), Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:20 am

Hugs to you holly!

I totally get where you are coming from. We haven't made any final decisions, but getting pg again is probably not a smart option for us. It makes me so sad to think about that though. (Which is probably why I haven't gotten on birth control yet--yes, someone slap me.)
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Re : A little sad there will only be 2

Postby kdreher » Thu Oct 15, 2009 03:07 pm

by kdreher (2482 Posts), Thu Oct 15, 2009 03:07 pm

I know this feeling as well and it does make me a bit sad that Michael will not have a sibling but I also know he truly is my miracle and I never thought I'd have a child after loosing Tyler in 1995. I just look at him and know he will get my all and my best no matter what. I think it's just another one of those unfortunate things that goes along with this stinkin PE.
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