Originally posted by annegarrett
One of the most important lessons we've learned here is that everyone's loss counts--loss of a baby (miscarriage, at term, after birth), loss of a mom, loss of a relationship (this situation does test the best of them), loss of a perfect birth.
What I'm saying is let it be okay to not say "I should" I should be okay, I should NOT be okay, I should feel this way. You feel what you feel. It's not some choice--it's how you feel.
I appreciate what you're going through because I started this organization because of that same sense of anger--my family and friends didn't appreciate what had happened to me and I felt very alone and very angry. So I can tell you that with time and with work (counseling, journaling, talking to friends, etc) that you'll feel better and in time (for me it's been 13 years) you will feel empowered because you are right--what happened to you--the disease and the trauma--was awful. It was worse because you had to deal with it on your own. I'm so sorry. My husband (now my ex, actually) took some time to figure it out but eventually, he did. Counseling can help, and information can help but right now--I'd turn to this forum for support. He's not going to suddenly get it (I know this feeling, I think we all do)--but maybe in time he will. But right now, take care of you. I put links below to a speech I did recently at my college reunion. I talk about that time when I was alone in the hospital and I don't know, maybe it will help. I am really sorry you had to go through this. I'm sorry about your niece. It's a lot of tough stuff all at once and no one has the magic card that tells you just how to cope with grief. I wish we did. But do come here and pour your heart out because a lot of women here have been where you are and can be there for you now. Take care--
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