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sleeping in our bed

So, the baby's born, what comes next? Discuss your postpartum and parenting concerns here.

sleeping in our bed

Postby jend01 » Fri Nov 06, 2009 09:58 am

by jend01 (375 Posts), Fri Nov 06, 2009 09:58 am

I have been having a little problem lately. Eian is 16 months now and he has been sleeping through the night in his crib since he was about 4 months. Lately though he has been getting up around 12:30 every night and he will lay in his crib as long as someone is in his room with him, but as soon as we leave he cries again. If I sleep on the floor next to his crib he is fine and if we put him in our bed he is fine. I love having him in bed with us, but I think he is getting used to that and that is why he is getting up at night. This has been since Monday.

Did anyone else have the same issue?
Any advice on how to get him to sleep in his crib again?

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Re : sleeping in our bed

Postby season » Fri Nov 06, 2009 12:51 am

by season (1416 Posts), Fri Nov 06, 2009 12:51 am

Kids go through so many phases with sleep. It sounds like he is going through a separation issue. How to solve it really depends on what you are OK with.

1) Let him come in your bed
2) Bring his crib in your room
3) Make a bed in his room for one of you
4) Sleep "train" him - ie. put him in his crib and work on him being OK with you guys leaving (may involve him and possibly you crying)
5) ???

I found the book - The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers - to be a great resource on finding what works for our whole family to get he sleep they need.
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Re : sleeping in our bed

Postby jend01 » Fri Nov 06, 2009 03:51 pm

by jend01 (375 Posts), Fri Nov 06, 2009 03:51 pm

It is tough for me to let him cry, it usually lasts about 10 minutes until I am back in there with him. I think I will go get that book and see what I can use from it. Thanks for the advice. I really don't mind him being in our bed, but I don't want him to get so used to it that he won't sleep alone.
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Re : sleeping in our bed

Postby jmom08 » Fri Nov 06, 2009 05:21 pm

by jmom08 (486 Posts), Fri Nov 06, 2009 05:21 pm

We get into similar problems every time we take a trip where DS stays in the hotel/guest room with us. He loves having mommy and daddy nearby when he is falling asleep! We have to be pretty firm after we get home, to get him to go back to the usual routine (enter room, kiss, firm instruction to stay in bed and go to sleep, leave, repeat multiple times on multiple nights until he gives up). We've never let him cry it out, and he did have some pretty bad sleep problems when he was younger, but they finally resolved with time. The turning point was when he was right about 2 yrs and I went out of town, leaving DH to do the wakings... once DS realized he was going to get daddy instead of mommy every time, his incentive to stay awake went way down. :) I think you are right in not wanting your son to get used to company (as much as I love being near DS when he's sleeping, I do think it makes our problem worse later on!).
Good luck, I hope you get some sleep soon!!

Edit: I forgot to mention that before he turned two, and during some illnesses afterward, I did sometimes sleep on a twin bed in his room. It was hard to extract myself afterward, but it kept him in his crib, it was more comfortable than the floor, and it was the only way I was able to get sleep at that time.
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Re : sleeping in our bed

Postby kara » Fri Nov 06, 2009 06:00 pm

by kara (6614 Posts), Fri Nov 06, 2009 06:00 pm

Consistency is key, we've found. They do go through sleep phases and stages with seperation anxiety, but they are also capable of mommy manipulation. Just make sure what you decide to do is ok with you, for the longterm as well as the short term. Our DD didn't sleep through the night until she was 3 years, for various reasons, but some were out of bad habits, allowing ourselves to give in to the whims of our kiddo. We were ALL better off and more well adjusted by getting some professional tips (and sleep...teehee). Hopefully that book will help. We were against crying it out until it worked really quickly-though we used other tricks and techniques too. We still use some of these skills today at age 4....so they will serve you well when you find something that works.
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