1st day back to work

[milesymommy]

Josh is almost 3 months old, and today is my first day back at work. It actually went okay this morning. When I returned to work after Miles, I cried the entire way from the daycare to work. No tears today... ok, maybe a couple. But I went back to work when Miles was only 7 weeks old, I think the extra time at home this time helped, plus I have dropped Josh off at daycare a few times for a few hours to get used to the routine at the daycare - and give me a little "me" time! Miles had a rough morning - seeing me dress for work, us leaving early... I kept him in daycare for the last 3 months, but not every day, and only for a few hours, so he'd wake up when he was ready and we'd eat and play and then go in. Miles hid under the covers when I tried waking him up today.
I just went and pumped... and there were pictures of all the babies from moms who use the nurse's room to pump... and as I was leaving, I saw Miles picture was still up :) That brought a tear to my eye. I need to add a picture of Josh on the wall.
BFing isn't going so good. I produced (notice past tense) so much and it came out so fast that Josh would choke and gag. He got to the point that he fought nursing (although I know he knew how to latch) and he'd scream... So I resorted to pumping most of the time... but I got really tired of doing that. I didn't produce enough with Miles, but he was a natural nurser, and he always wanted to be BF. Not with Josh. So I pumped less and less and he nursed less and less... but the funny thing is over the last week he started nuzzling my breast, like he wanted it. So were back to BFing a couple times a day, even if he doesn't get much. And he probably likes it better now that its not squirting out so much so fast and choking him. And I like the closeness of it. So back to pumping during the day to try to keep my supply or restart it. But as funny as this sounds - its easier at work... just go to the nurses station and get some alone time to pump, not like at home where I was trying to get the kids settled before pumping, etc, etc, you know.
Anyway... thanks for listening! Back to paying attention to work.

[amanda]

Hi Aimee!
I was another one who produced too much at first. In fact, I produced so much that the NICU nurses were shocked. What can I say? Apparently I like to make milk. :) Like Josh, Anna Grace didn't really enjoy breastfeeding until I had a lactation lady come in and help me out. I was so nervous I think that I was making her nervous. One thing that the lactation person said though was even if Josh doesn't get a lot of milk if it makes you both feel better then keep doing it! What type of bottle are you using? I used one that was 'suppose' to mimic the breast - no idea if that really happened - but she seemed to transition pretty quickly.

I hope it goes well for you for the rest of the week. It's so hard to go back to work. Hugs to you.

[hannahsmom]

Sorry you had to return to work. I will be going back, too, although I don't know the date yet. I am hoping to stay out as long as possible. I used a lot of my FMLA due to bedrest, so I will run out before I go back, but I am applying for an extended leave of absence. Sorry about the breastfeeding. I pumped with Hannah and it was not easy!

[milesymommy]

Thanks ladies! I used the gerber orthodonic nipples with Miles, and he had no problems switching between the bottle and the real thing. I am using the Medela bottles this time. I think Josh didn't like it because I gushed out so much. Weird after not producing enough for Miles. It took forever for my milk to come in with him, and when it did, it wasn't much, even though I pumped like crazy trying to stimulate it. With Josh, it came in immediately, and there was a lot of it. I really just got tired of pumping. It wasn't hard to pump when Miles was a baby, but having to ensure both boys were settled down before pumping was mission impossible this time. Plus not actually nursing Josh part of the time was a let down too. Felt more like a cow in a barn than a mommy.
Luckily I have a really easy job right now with a flexible schedule, so going back to work isn't that bad. I will retire from the military in less than 3 years and then always be home for the boys. I think its a good trade-off - I am "loosing" the baby years, but they'll be 3 and 5 when I retire and I won't ever have to work again. I imagine how much fun we'll have, and how I'll be there when they get off the bus, and help them with homework, and have awesome summer vacations. Its opposite of how most mom's do it, but it works for me. At least I have a light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to.