Post-Partum Depression?

[mommy2maddie]

This is embarassing, I feel so ashamed, and I do not know why but I dont know if the feelings I am experiencing are symptoms of post-partum depression or something else. I felt like this after I had my DD, just not this intense, but when I became pregnant with DS it went away, and I felt 'normal' and completely happy. In fact my husband jokes that the only time I am nice to him is when I am pregnant. I find myself becoming angry very easily, and I am very irratiable. I worry excessively about how I am going to get things done, like the dishes and the laundry and most days I am exhausted and want to sleep all the time so badly. I do not cry that much, but certain days, I cry all day. On top of this my son has colic, and his crying it sometimes unbearable. I love my children very much, I feel guilty for feeling like this, I feel like I should be happy. Also I do not know if this is anxiety or what, but I get this feeling in my stomach that goes up my throat and makes me feel like I cannot breathe when I get too stressed, I hope that makes sense. Do I just not handle stress well? I just feel I need some help but who do I call? I really don't have a regular doctor right now, can I call my OB?
Thanks

[love_the_daschies]

I am sending some hugs to you. I do not know much about PP emotions, but I struggle with anxiety and stress. The not being able to breathe feeling is typical of anxiety. I say call your OB - they will be able to see you and maybe tell you where to go from there (ie. PCP, psychiatrist or therapist) but they may give you some meds to hold you over or some natural breathing techniques to calm your body down and relax you. Some tips that work well for me is when I get overwhelmed by the anxiety - to go and take very deep breathes and focus only on inhaling (thinking I am inhaling positive energy) and exhaling (thinking of exhailing all the anxiety). Breathing calmly - that tells your body things are o.k. and can stop the whole anxiety provoking cascade going on in your body. It sounds kind of funny and I am not some one who usually believes that stuff- but it works great!

I don;t know if you are against meds - so I am sorry to suggest them if you are. I am very pro-med because my anxiety improved soo much on meds and I compare then to now and I am much better off. But I know everyone is not as interested in meds or doesn't respond well.

If you are breast feeding- they even have meds safe for that. Def. call your OB and see them and go from there - there is no need to feel awful. I know one of my OBs is kinda like a PCP and handles everything - so your doc may be able to help.

[mellybute]

I agree with Jaime. I got on Zoloft about 2 months pp after this pregnancy (so about 3 months ago now) because I was having such bad anxiety. I wasn't feeling good either and just completely stressed and my body was trying to recover from the PE.

The anxiety for me manifests itself as a knot in my throat that makes it hard to swallow, breath, etc. A heaviness in my chest, almost a burning. If you can imagine how most people feel before they get up in front of an audience and give a speech....well that's how I was feeling 24/7. Never had it like that in my life and it was ridiculous. I am on the lowest starting dose of Zoloft 50 mg. and it has worked wonders for me.

I no longer have that "omgosh what's gonna happen next" feeling or worry that I had. My GP prescribed it for me. She recommended it for atleast 6 months but she said some people feel so good they stay on it as long as they feel they need to. I don't know if you can take it while bf though if you are.

I asked my doctor what she recommended because something just had to give for me. I couldn't stand one more day of feeling like I was. I know OB's can prescribe anti-depressants too.

[mnmom]

Sending big cyber hugs! You should definitely call your ob. You should also try and get some help. It IS hard and overwhelming, especially adding colic. I clearly remember sitting in my bed with my brand new daughter screaming away and my two year old sitting next to me wanting me to read to her; the dished were piled to the ceiling, no clean laundry, I hadn't left the house in days.....and I cried for hours, wondering why on earth I did this. None of my girlfriends had kids and they were shopping and going out. Ugh. But, it really does get better. I wish I would have brought up my feelings to my doc. This was 20 years ago, and I don't think PPD was talked about much back then. Or if it was, I never heard about it. Take care of you!!

[hannahsmom]

Sending you big hugs...

I gave birth in November and have PPD. I was embarrassed to talk to my MFM about it, but he put me on meds right away and I feel much better. It was actually my children's pediatrician that diagnosed me and asked me to talk to my OB for meds, and I'm glad he did. My son has colic, too, and there are days that I just want to run away, but the meds are helping me cope a lot better, and I am now nicer to my husband and daughter. I know they are glad that I talked to my doc. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I hope you feel better soon :)

[kellyebush]

I delievered my son in May 2004 at 23 weeks due to HELLP and severe PE, pulmonary edema, the beginnings of kidney failure and a partial placental abruption. When I went to my OB for my 1 week check up and staple removal, I had been home from the hospital for a day and a half. I had spent almost that entire time crying my eyes out and just freaking out in general. My OB said that it is very common for mothers who have delivered early or with complications to have PPD. He gave me zoloft that very day-which was ok with the NICU (I was pumping) and I felt relieft right away! I am one of those people who reacts very quickly to antidepressants, which not everyone is, but I went from not being able to talk about my son without sobbing, to carrying on matter-of-fact conversations about him and how he was in 2 doses!

Talk to your doctor, and don't feel guilty. Lots of us have been right where you are. I hope you are able to get some help and feel better!

[southerngirl108]

I am so glad you posted this.... I think I have PPD, too. I feel completely overwhelmed with a 2 yr old and a 6 wk old. I feel like I can't get any housework done and I feel bad when my husband cleans up the house after working 12 hour days. I feel like an idiot because I can't even do the simple things. Praise God I am blessed with such a loving husband who wants to help me as much as he can and wishes he can do more. (He even tries to get up with me in the middle of the night when I BF because he feels bad that he can sleep all night through and I can't, yet he is the one who has to get up to go to work!). I feel bad for feeling bad because I should be happy, and I am happy, but I feel like there are a lot more moms out there who are more together than me. I go to my OB for my 6 week PP checkup on Monday so I am going to talk to her. I'm not against meds... I know I need something to help me.

[milesymommy]

I felt overwhelmed the first two months after Josh was born. Having a newborn who needs fed and changed so often plus a 2 1/2 year old who wants mommy's attention and wants it now and wants to play and wants the old mommy back... I was so heart broken and overwhelmed. Miles has even told me he wants Declan's mommy (friends of ours) to be his mommy. Dishes piling up, and my DH - who was extremely helpful - made comments a few times about me being "on vacation". Yeah. right. I kept thinking "millions of mom's have 2, 3, 4, 5 kids and get it right, why can't I?" I think I had mild PPD with my first son, but this time around it wasn't so much depression as being overwhelmed.
After a couple months things started smoothing out - Josh sleeping longer, Miles adjusted to new brother. Everything takes time. Don't be so hard on yourself. Talk to your OB and see what she says. I found just talking about it - to anyone - helped. I unloaded on my sister every few days, and she was super suportive. I got a wonderful spa day to help me relax. And I accepted I'm not going to win "mom of the year" award.
This may sound horrible, but going back to work really helped. It gives me a break from having someone who needs me constantly, I can go to the bathroom alone, I can eat lunch without interruption. Selfish, I know, but its how I'm keeping my sanity. And I know I'm not the only one who goes through this.
I hope you feel better soon. Believe me, it gets better. And you're not alone in these feelings.