Does anyone else feel that they start to feel better and stronger, but then something will just hit you and you feel like you are back where you started? Yes, most days are good days now, and the bad days are much fewer. I don't think about my son's birth nearly as much as I did, but when I do it is like I am right back where I started. I think it has just gotten "easier' (not that it is easy) to pull myself out when I am upset thinking about what happened. I am getting good with the coping skills, but I don't want to have to cope, I just want it to go away. I guess that is what is the hardest now - I feel so much better, but it just will not go away. I know that HELLP has changed me and that I am a stronger person for it, but I don't want to be strong - I want to be a 'normal' mom who loved her pregnancy and has wonderful memories of the first moments with baby. Does that ever go away?