by whereowhere (56 Posts), Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:06 pm
Thanks for caring to ask this question. My experience was of a preeclampsia loss. My preeclampsia was made worse in the emotional way by most of the nurses caring for me. It is not just the health aspect of caring for preeclampsia patients, but the emotional aspect is so important. It is a terrifying experience for so many of us. I lost my twins at 21 weeks to severe preeclampsia. As I just found out I had it, the nurse looked me straight in the eye and said VERY firmly, "you are sick, you are very, very sick, and even if you don't feel sick, you are very, VERY sick." well, her honesty may have been what she was trying to convey, but it isn't always the best for a person to hear how SICK they are. She could have said something along these lines, "you are very sick, but we are going to take VERY good care of you..."
The designated grief nurses were nurses I was afraid of even before I was diagnosed, as I was in Labor & Delivery. It was like a horrible joke when they turned out to be the ones to take care of my grief. It is very important to have nurses who have warmth and caring in that position. Having them in that position taking care of me in my grief was really like a horror movie, and I am serious. Please choose naturally caring nurses for that position of grief nurse.
Another thing that nurses or nurse aids did that to this day pains me, is as me and my husband were given our babies to love and hold, there were 2 nurses or aides, who I had never even seen before just leaning against a counter just STARING at us as we were in our grief. If they had nothing to do, at least LOOK busy.
Do your best as a nurse to remember at least the faces of the patients who have lost a baby from preeclampsia. You may see them again someday in your care or somewhere else. It had only been one month from the day I lost my twins. The one nurse who had been the one who seemed the most caring and compassionate when I was delivering my babies, I saw her in the grocery store. I had just bought a ring that day with 2 hearts to symbolize my twins. When I saw her in the store, I said, "hi, do you remember me?". "Yes! I do", she said. I think she really did remember me, but what happened next hurt me very much. I said, "look, I got this ring for my twins". She responded "Ohhh, how beautiful! How ARE they?". I said, "good" as my heart broke when I realized to her I was just another patient, and even my horrific experience of losing my twins did not even stay with her even just to simply remember that I was the one who LOST my babies.
Thanks again for caring to ask this question of us. I truly believe the nurses around you make a world of difference in the experiences with preeclampsia.
Lost my beautiful boy & girl twins at 21 weeks to severe preeclampsia-2012
Mommy & Daddy will love you forever my sweet babies!
Pregnant again, due September 26, 2013. Praying for a pre-e free pregnancy.
Delivered a healthy baby girl at exactly 37 weeks, pre-e free! Had some hypertension post-partum but resolved with BP meds.
C-section planned for September 5, 2013 at exactly 37 weeks.