Desperate for help !!

Are you considering having another child after preeclampsia? Trying again after preeclampsia can be an emotional challenge. You can find support with others who share your concerns here.
for faith
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Re : Desperate for help !!

Postby for faith » Thu Mar 17, 637672 6:50 pm

Wishing you the best with you decision, it is such a hard one.

Deciding to have another child after my daughter was very, very hard. I don't have any underlying conditions either, but had PE with both pregnancies, the 2nd much more severe. My drs were very positive, which helped. For me I really wanted 2 children to grow up together, which is probably how you feel about 4. I was so, so worried, but ended up with a perfect pregnancy and couldn't believe it. I did take baby aspirin from before conception (instructed by my peri) and was monitored very closely throughout, but other than that nothing different with my last.

To be honest I am so, so glad this is past me, it is an incredible agonizing time. Wishing you the best in your decision, it is a hard one......

onfaith
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Re : Desperate for help !!

Postby onfaith » Thu Jan 07, 637672 12:33 pm

Lucy - your decision to try for another child is a terribly difficult one. I, like you, would love to have a "normal" pregnancy. That said, I remember very clearly how sure I was after Sophie that I would never have anymore. I had the conversation with 3 doctors in my practice and they encouraged me to stop. I am somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to me and it totally ticks me off that I couldn't acheive this, but, for me, that is no reason to have another. I love babies, would love another, but for me the risks are too high to me and especially an infant. I am so grateful for what I have and what I do not know, like what it is to lose a child. Definitely take your time with this one, there are so many questions to ask yourself...and as I often say there are no guarantees, that is for sure. Will definitely be thinking of you. Wishing you clear thoughts and health in abundance.

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julie f
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Re : Desperate for help !!

Postby julie f » Sun Dec 27, 637671 6:55 am

Lucy,

You are stuck in the BIG FAT GRAY area... not a fun place to be.[}:)] No one can tell you yes, no one can tell you no. And whatever you decide, you agonize with the choice either way.

I wish that I could offer you some help but I struggle with this issue as we speak. I always thought that around the time of Jackson's 2nd Bday, we'd try for another. I have my preconception appointment set up for next month and everything. But all of the sudden, I am completely gripped with fear, almost paralyzed. Do I want Jack to have a brother or sister here on earth, do I want to be pregnant again - absolutely, 100% without a doubt, I think about it daily. What I want - is everything. What I've realized, is that it's not always possible and sometimes our definitions of what "everything" is, have to change a bit. I don't say this to imply that you shouldn't want, or try, for your fourth - I just want you to know that you're not alone in this struggle. We all may make different choices but I can gaurantee that no matter what, you will find much support here.

And if you happen to find a crystal ball while you're searching, can you pass it my way...[;)]

daltonsmommy
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Re : Desperate for help !!

Postby daltonsmommy » Sun Dec 27, 637671 3:15 am

Lucy,
Even though there might be minimal risk to you, you should deffinately think about the risk to your baby. I was delivered at 29 weeks with pe and my baby had severe IUGR. He passed nineteen days later.. I go in for a consult with my peri on tuesday. If he tells me there is a good chance this is going to happen again I am not going to go through another pregnancy. There is no way I would want another baby to go through what my Dalton did. So basically look at it this way. Are you willing to risk not having a baby come home with you.. With this disease there is no guarentee that our babies will make it.. That is the question I think you should ask your OB. What are my chances of bringing home a baby??

Good Luck,
Charity

timelessbeauty
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Re : Desperate for help !!

Postby timelessbeauty » Sat Dec 26, 637671 4:55 pm

Lucy,

I don't judge anyone's problems to be less or greater than my own. It's all about perspective and your concerns are valid to you and your family at this time. You are not whining in the least, you have valid concerns for your health, your potential baby's health and your husband's responsibilities should something happen to the one or both of you.

I, too, had no underlying disorders or causes of my preeclamptic pregnancies. I am an enigma to the physicians. While it makes me feel great to know I'm "good" .. it doesn't help to figure out what to treat or how to proceed for future pregnancies. Thus, I ended up grasping at straws to try just about any treatment the doctors would offer that could potentially help stave off PE effects. I would like others in our forums to chime in with their experiences in having babies 32 weeks and before as to what they might do to think. Ultimately it is your decision but I understand in hearing stories and outcomes, it can give hope or swing you the other way to help you finalize your decision. There are no guarantees even for women with healthy pregnancies not to have some unfortunate outcome, but we can empower ourselves with as much information as is out there to help make the best informed decision we can.

Sending you a BIG hug and hoping we can have some posts here to help you with your quest for information.

lucy21
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Re : Desperate for help !!

Postby lucy21 » Sat Dec 26, 637671 4:09 pm

Thanks so much for your reply Sue.

Yes, I have had EVERY test under the sun, actually had them all twice. Once after 1st preg and after 3rd. Everything completely normal... no underlying causes. Which is good in one way, but as my physician said, at least if there was a cause, we could potentially help it !! I have no sign of hypertension, actually have great BP.

Health wise - I am pretty good. I eat well, but could probably lose a bit of weight and get fitter. Doctor told me that he thinks it wouldn't make any difference to lose weight and get fit, but I disagree, I think that being fit and a good weight would help with any type of pregnancy or medical condition surely. Do you know much about this ?
My speicialist last week diagnosed me as having had A-typical imminent eclampsia - as my symptoms were quiet rare with primarily brain and placental involvement rather than BP and protein etc.
He did say that the risk to ME would be VERY minimal as he would be watching me so carefully and deliver at the first sign of risk to me.


A question I just asked a girlfriend on the phone and I'd love to hear what the ladies here think, was... "If your doctor told you that he believes you are VERY likely (90%) chance of delivering between 28 and 32 weeks, with a 10% chance prior and 10% chance after..... Would you do it?"

I'm just so confussed and torn between making a decision. What I'd give for a crystal ball !!

I agree with what you said about my husband. He would desperately love another baby too, but I guess he is worried about the risk to me and potentially a baby and he remembers alot more of the details of our last pregnancy than I do - don't know if it was the drugs I was on or if I've blocked it out, but don't remember much.

Thanks again for your advise and support. It sounds like you have had a much, much harder haul than me and must think I am a BIG whinger. I'm so sorry that you lost your darling boy and your husband.. I can't imagine how hard that must have been.

Take care, Love Lucy.

timelessbeauty
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Re : Desperate for help !!

Postby timelessbeauty » Sat Dec 26, 637671 1:51 pm

I guess the first line of questions would be if you have consulted doctors about your want for another pregnancy? Many of our members have had multitudes of bloodwork done to find out if they have any sort of underlying disorder that contributes to the effects of PE/HELLP during a pregnancy. Next would be to assess your current physical standing, are you hypertensive currently, is weight an issue, dietary intake ok? I know for myself, I have become overweight due to so many pregnancies and my metabolism has changed over time but our conference pointed out that even losing 5 lbs. (2.27 kilograms) can make a big difference.

What did I try differently to avoid PE/HELLP again? I tried it all, Blood pressure medication during pregnancy, baby aspirin, heparin shots twice a day, vit C and E (see latest studies on this through the forums before trying), extra calcium and my prenatal vitamin. And what may have been my biggest benefit towards the pregnancy, being at HOME versus having to work.

I lost a baby at 24 wks (stillborn baby boy named Ben) due to severe PE and HELLP syndrome. I have gone on to have two VERY healthy pregnancies, girl at 36 wks and a boy at 38 wks 4 days! I cannot pinpoint to you what made the absolute difference for me nor can I guarantee that what I did would cause the same results for anyone else, but miracles can happen. But I do suggest talking things over very well before trying with your spouse as they go through just as much worry and emotion as we do. It's a scary proposition to be a "single parent" after the death of a spouse, take it from me, I'm a former widow.

I wish you much luck in talking to your physicians about your plans and getting the information that helps you feel most comfortable about your decision. Keep us informed!

lucy21
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Desperate for help !!

Postby lucy21 » Sat Dec 26, 637671 11:03 am

Hi everyone,
I really need some help and advise. I feel like you guys are literally the only people on the planet that understand me.
It will be four years in Jan since my 3rd baby was born and my 3rd pre-eclampsia pregnancy. For every minute, of every day since then I have thought and wanted another child. I have read, researched, thought, contemplated, talked etc. etc. every detail of the risks involved and still feel the same way.
The problem is that I went to my high risk specialist (who is amazing) last week (I have been for 3 pre-consept. consults since Flynn was born - leave it a year and go back, hoping things have changed)..... And he told me 100% chance of PE, 100% chance of premmie baby... blah blah blah.... the end story was that he predicts that if I go ahead and try calcium, heparin, asprin (all of which I didn't have in other pregs) that he estimates he would end up delivering me at 28-32 weeks.
I am prepared to take this risk, at the moment my DH isn't, although he says if I desperately want to go ahead he will support me 100% of the way. He wants another child just as much, but is scared and doesn't like those odds.

I desperately need your help and stories, advise, suggestions, anything you have tried that helped in pregnancy to delay or lessent the severity of PE, any amazing success stories, or any not so amazing ones that got worse each time. I feel that I need to know EVEYRTHING I can and be totally armed with info before I make a FINAL decision.

The one thing I have decided and DH agrees, is that we either do it, or get over it and on with it. I am TOTALLY obsessed with finding a way to have a sucessful (as sucessful as possible !!!) pregnancy and I can't continue like this, I just need to decide one way or the other and stop deliberating, it is driving me crazy - not to mention what it is doing to my hubby.

PLEASE HELP... I need as many stories, suggestions as I can get. Please be honest and offer me your advise, ie. what would you do in the same situation ????????

Thank you SOOOO much, you are all amazing and sorry for the rant !!!
Love Lucy
XXX


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