need advice...

Are you considering having another child after preeclampsia? Trying again after preeclampsia can be an emotional challenge. You can find support with others who share your concerns here.
for faith
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Re : need advice...

Postby for faith » Sat Aug 26, 637972 2:15 am

This is a very, very hard decision. We were totally done after I got pregnant with my daughter, 2 was it and perfect, then when we lost her, it was hard to decide to try again. We had a perfect son, but really wanted a sibling for him and to complete our family. The only thing that held me together was my great medical care, which I began much more proactively involved in even before I got pregnant again. Obviously now it was the total best decision we made, but it is a very hard road to go down. My thoughts are with you.

michellelhuston
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Re : need advice...

Postby michellelhuston » Fri Aug 25, 637972 11:37 pm

Holli,

This disease is so ugly. It ripped my first child out of my stomach and then out of my arms in 3 days. As Dh and I were talking, I mentioned adoption. But he really wanted to try on our own before we adopted! I am currently 9 weeks pregnant again! I never thought that I could feel so many emotions at the same time! We taking it 1 week at a time! Good Luck in your decision and know that we are all here for you!

halo79rn
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Re : need advice...

Postby halo79rn » Tue Aug 15, 637972 12:06 am

We had a similar birth experience (no infertility issues), a long induction (started 36w 5d) due to pree (which started at 32wk). DD's heartrate dropped due to the cord being wrapped around her neck, was remaining in the 60s between contractions and pushes... they were setting up for the c section when I got her out. I didnt' get to see her for what seemed like an eternity, later my husband told me it was b/c of breathing problems (her first apgar was 3, so basically either not or barely breathing)... I didn't hear her cry for the first 24 hrs. I had b/p issues, headaches and nosebleeds for weeks post partum, ppd for months (at least 6m).
My dh's half sister died of pree in the late 80s (**** ED sent her home, she went b/c of a headache)... so his family was freaked, which freaked me out even more.
Well, we're pg again! Surprise,surprise! Our plan was to try again after Libby turned 1... we found out the week before her birthday. So we'll see. We knew we wanted to try again. We know what to watch for and we'll just pray every day. However, we've agreed that if it happens again, this is it. We can always adopt after this pregnancy. We're scared... I think our parents are too (they just don't say it) We're all excited too.
It's something you and your dh have to decide together. It's a risk. Pregnancy always is. There's always adoption as an option.
Good luck. I know (as many here on this board do know) it's a HARD decision to make. I sometimes sit an wonder what if's.... I have my daughter to think of now and it scares me to think I may not be here for her one day. But then I think about this baby inside and what a great friend she will have and how I know what to expect and can just be overly cautious this time (I was really hesitant to call last time... under diagnosing myself in hopes that it was all normal... I'm a nurse, my ob complained that we're the worst patients. lol).

jana m
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Re : need advice...

Postby jana m » Sun Aug 13, 637972 10:58 pm

My husband and I have struggled with "unexplained" infertility, so when we got pregnant with triplets through IVF (after only putting in two embryo's), I knew my three girls were meant to be here with me. I had a very traumatic pregnancy. Major surgery at 13 weeks, terrible trouble with pre-term labor that included multiple hospitalizations, lots of medicine to control contractions (including two weeks of mag) and almost three months of bedrest. When severe PE and HELLP showed up at almost 25 weeks, I couldn't believe it. My difficult pregnancy had a terrible ending and I lost all three of my babies within a week after their birth.

I'm kind of like Julie. I knew we had to try again. The fear was overwhelming, but there came a point when I decided it was not going to get the better of me. If there was one thing I learned from my first pregnancy, it's that no matter what I do, in the end, I really don't have control over what is going to happen. It's a hard thing to accept, but it's true. Now that I'm pregnant again, all I can do is take one day (sometimes one hour) at a time, do everything my peri tells me to do and hope for the best. That I bring home a healthy baby and I stay healthy throughout my pregnancy.

I am in my 18th week and so far things are going well. I know however, that they can turn ugly at the drop of a hat. The challenge has been to not sit around waiting for that to happen. The mixed emotions are also challenging. Being so happy and grateful for the new baby I'm carrying, but still grieving for my three girls. It's a daily struggle, but I consider all of my children to be such a gift, so it's something I'm willing to deal with.

The decision to try again is so hard. It's not only your baby's life at risk, but your own. Julie is right, find yourself a perinatologist that you trust and who you know will take you seriously. One that you would feel totally comfortable calling at 3am if you have the slightest feeling that something isn't right. It helps so much to know that my doctor is watching out for me and is trying as hard as I am to give me a better outcome this time around.

I don't know if my story was helpful at all. In the end, it's such a personal decision, but you and your husband will figure it out. Just give yourself all of the time that you need.

Take care.

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julie f
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Re : need advice...

Postby julie f » Sun Aug 13, 637972 2:17 am

Holli,

Trying again after losing Zach wasn't really a decision for us, it was just something we knew we would do. Now the decision to try again after Jackson is something I struggle with, it's a whole different ball game. I have a beautiful, healthy baby - do I dare risk it all again? In a perfect world I want another baby more than anything, I want Jack to have a brother or a sister to grow up with. My heart has already made its decision but I'm not sure that I can get my mind to agree. So, I can appreciate your struggle as I know so many other women here can as well.

My best piece of advice is to get in with a peri whom you completely trust, make sure that your medical care is at least one thing you can count on.

I wish I could be of more help. Thinking of you,

holliadrienne
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need advice...

Postby holliadrienne » Wed Aug 02, 637972 11:13 am

ok, so for those of you who don't know me, i have a perfect 7 1/2 month old son...i had preeclampsia during the pregnancy and almost lost him during delivery because the cord was around his neck and his heart rate was down in the 50s and 60s for some time before his birth...

after he was born, i had swelling and bp problems for over a month post partum, struggled with PPD and was diagnosed with PTSD...in short, in the first few weeks and months of his life i was a very sick person.

That being said, I am off all meds now, and more in love with my son than i ever knew humanly possible. When I got preg, I was on Clomid because of Endometriosis. I had a difficult road from day one...

Obviously it was worth it...and my husband and I don't even want to start trying for a year, but i am having problems. I whole heartedly want another child, but the thought of being preg again scares me beyond belief. I am so scared that I may not make it this time and my son would go through life without a mother. Then again I know I could have the picutre perfect pregnancy i have always dreamed about...

we know we want another child. But I am leaning towards adopting because I am so terrified of getting preg. My husband wants to try for another bio-baby...

i just wanted some advice from the strong women here who have taken the leap and decided to try again after this horrible disease...

sorry this was so long, and thank you in advance:)


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