New and Distrustful

Are you considering having another child after preeclampsia? Trying again after preeclampsia can be an emotional challenge. You can find support with others who share your concerns here.
mrs. sagara
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Re : New and Distrustful

Postby mrs. sagara » Thu May 17, 637973 9:27 pm

Thank you ladies for all your great advice.

I think I've narrowed my search to 3 nearby hospitals and 3 peri doctors.

Wish me luck.

I will be off work next week and will be getting information and setting appts.

I can feel all your positive thoughts coming my way.

Julie, I will e-mail you soon.

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julie f
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Re : New and Distrustful

Postby julie f » Thu Apr 26, 637973 8:29 am

You have lost so much... I am so sorry.

There are very few doctors in this world that I trust after my experience with preeclampsia. I think you're doing the right thing by shopping around.

I saw that you're in Southern CA, email me if I can be of any help checking into a particular doctor or group,

I saw the same OB for both of my pregnancies and she was affiliated with the hospital in our area, her office was located around the block. For labwork though there were about four other locations that I could go to. NSTs and ultrasounds were completed in my doctor's office. (I also had an HMO) My peri in the 2nd pregnancy though was not affiliated with the hospital or my medical group, he was actually out of state in WA. My insurance did not cover those visits (4) but thankfully my OB ran all of the tests that my peri wanted so those were covered. Prior to my 2nd pregnancy, we met with three different peris before we found the one for us. My best advice is to explore all of your options, medical care that you can actually trust in can make all of the difference.

Please email me and let me know how I can help.

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Re : New and Distrustful

Postby sreeve » Wed Apr 25, 637973 12:17 am

Hi Maria,
I'm so sorry you are so stressed, but you have been through several emotional and physical traumas, and I think it's only natural for you to be feeling this way.

Like Heather, I see an OB and peri in separate offices, and when bloodwork is needed, it's either drawn in the office and sent off to be processed, or I go to a separate lab. It's really not as much of a pain as it sounds.

I hope that you find a hospital and doctors that you can trust. Good luck and I'm thinking positive thoughts for you.

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Re : New and Distrustful

Postby heather100 » Tue Apr 03, 637973 3:01 am

Hi Maria. I am so sorry for all of your losses. You have been through so much. I think many women in your situation would be mistrustful. Sounds very normal to me. I can completely understand wanting to have a child. It is something inside you that just doesn't go away until you have a child and watch them grow. I pray that you can do that soon. Huge hugs to you!!!

My doctor is in a regular office. I see an OB/GYN and a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist in a diffent office. They are both "affilated" with the hospital but the visits are at their offices. Labwork is taken at the doc's office and then sent off to a lab that processes it and calls the results into the doctor and then the doc calls you with that info. Some offices have on-site labs for certain lab procedures. I think that is pretty common at least here in North Carolina.

mrs. sagara
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Re : New and Distrustful

Postby mrs. sagara » Mon Apr 02, 637973 9:53 pm

Ladies thank you for your support. I am so sensitive and a little stressed to be honest, especially after all that I've been through. Every time I come to these forums I get great support and advice.
I just had a question, in my previous insurance I went to a hospital for all my visits, regular doctor, ob/gyn, maternal fetal, lab work, etc.
I just found a hospital that I would like to check out which has affiliated doctors in different locations other than the hospital. Is that common? How does it work if you need lab work, do you go to a separate location.

I know these are dumb questions. And I should call the hospital but since its on the weekend I thought you can give me some insight as to what to expect.

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Re : New and Distrustful

Postby sonja » Mon Apr 02, 637973 5:47 pm

I had an HMO with my second pregnancy and actually found them really easy to work with and willing to get me good care (the best in my opinion - it was out of network, but I did not have a problem getting a referal). I would start by calling their reps, maybe first sit down and write out the questions that you have, and then fire away, and find out from them what they can do for you. If you don't feel that you are getting good answers try at another time, maybe someone else can be of better help.

I am so sorry for your losses - you have much reason to be scared of the medical establishment. I hope that you can find a wonderful doctor that you can trust.

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Re : New and Distrustful

Postby klynn » Mon Apr 02, 637973 12:00 pm

I am very sorry for all your losses. I was also distrustful of doctors after I lost my daughter. My family doctor wanted to send me to a "different" OBGYN but that didn't seem right to me. My insurance had also changed so I went to the insurance companys website and looked for a MFM. I then called my regular doctor and she set up the appt for me. THe people I have been working with are very understanding and actually did not charge me for my consultation (it was an hour long). I would suggest something along those lines. I have also heard alot of doctors will do the insurance legwork for you. Good Luck to you.

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Re : New and Distrustful

Postby kathyc » Mon Apr 02, 637973 7:14 am

Oh, Maria, I am sorry you are hurting so much. You have been through so much. My heart breaks for you. I am glad that you feel able to trust the women on these forums though. Vent away, that's what we are here for.

I work in the field of mental health, and I can understand your reluctance to see a therapist assoiciated with the hospital. I wonder if there are any therapists in private practice or who are not affiliated with that hospital? It might be worth a try, just to have someone who can help you sort through everything.

A good place to start looking for a high risk doctor (perinatologist, MFM doc, etc.) is here:

Maybe check with your new insurance, too. They can tell you which docs are in your network. Finding a good maternal-fetal medicine doc is going to be very important in your case. I would ask for a complete workup, including tests for any underlying disorders.

You are in my thoughts and prayers today. Good luck, hon.

mrs. sagara
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New and Distrustful

Postby mrs. sagara » Mon Apr 02, 637973 3:53 am

Hi ladies, I actually wanted to ask for advice.

I feel I have had very bad luck in respect to doctors and hospitals.

I just don't feel that I was given enough time or effort by the doctors who treated me.

I lost twins at 23 wks due to premature labor most likely due to an imcompetent cervix that a regular ob could not detect and although I kept going to the emergency room every 2 weeks or so, no one ever referred me to a high risk doctor.

My last loss, my son Benjamin, I was diagnosed with PE and was admitted to be induced. I got an infection through the catheter and passed it on to my son who passed away a day after he was born.

I remember trying to ask all the questions that I could think of and had very bad advice, like "your twins will most likely be born very early so you shouldn't prolong their pain think of their quality of life" or "you should be fine to go back to work tomorrow even" (this after the loss of my twins and was hemorrhaging), or "don't get pregnant with twins again" after I'd gotten pregnant thru insemination. Worse still was when they said they didn't give me the right antibiotics because they didn't think I could get that type of infection during labor. I later read that what I caught is the most common of all. All in all really uncaring doctors in my point of view.

I know that I come in with a chip on my shoulders and I have other family issues as well. I never went to a therapist because I just could not trust anyone in that hospital.

I would be trying for my 4th pregnancy and I just moved insurances and am not sure how to get references since none of my friends have gone through what I have.

I checked medical groups, my state's medical board, and hospital evaluations and yet I don't know how to start.

I guess I am asking whether I should wait or not.

I feel that I need to try because I have all this love to give but I don't know how to overcome my distrust.

To top it off I have an HMO which limits a lot of my options, how do I navigate through all this?

Sorry if this turned into a venting session.
I haven't been able to sleep tonight and am crying of despair.

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