Is there a "time frame"?

[heather h]

My husband and I lost our first child on 4/25/04. I ended up with a pulmonary Embolis (blood clot) in my lung 4 days after I delivered my baby boy. I had a ct scan which determined the blood clot is now dissolved , but that one found out I had fluid between my lung and diafram. I just had a ct scan monday to see if that's going away. My husband and I are hopefully going to try again maybe in august or september - do you think this is too early as far as my body being able to "recooperate"? I dont know if there's a specific time frame that you should wait after delivering to be able to concieve safely?? (although i've learned the hard way that nothing is every definately safe..) what are your thoughts? do you think 4 months is too early?

Heather

28weeks - Shane Andrew 4/25/04
"Our little angel who will always be loved and never be forgotten"

[arj]

Oh Heather, I am so sorry for your loss.

Have you met with a high risk OB to discuss these issues? I am sure that he/she would be able to provide you with answers as far as whether or not your body is physically ready to carry a baby. It sounds like you had a really traumatic experience with your 1st baby, so I would want to be completely healthy before trying again. A normal pregnancy is challenging enough on your body, let alone one with complications.

Good luck with everything. If all works out, you could be joining the TTC Forum members soon. You'll get mega support there!

Allison (28)
DS-Evan, 7/19/2003. PE at 40 weeks

[heather h]

No, I havent been to a high risk doctor yet. I have only been to my normal ob/gyn who needless to say I am very unhappy with my service there and will not be going back to them. I did find a ob/gyn that specializes in the maternal and fetal medicine which im just waiting to make sure this fluid by my lung is gone and then i'll make that apt. Im so afraid to trust doctors now. My first pregnancy went from such an easy pregnancy to horrible in such short time. I called them to let them know i wasnt feeling any movement on a Monday and she wanted me to eat a candy bar and drink a soda and count the movments but i told her that it wasnt going to work. She then said "well, we can bring you in and check the heartbeat but your not going to get an ultrasound". This being my first pregnancy, i trusted the nurse and figured this was normal procedure. I got there and she got the heart beat and then it would dissappear.. she looked at me and said "are you satisfied with that?" I figured, well, at least he's alive. That friday I went for my follow up ultrasound and that's when my husband and I found out he was gone. My sister works at a hospital and she said that the first thing they should do for lack of fetal movement is do an ultrasound. So, im not very happy with that office. It tears me apart wondering if she would've taken my blood pressure there and maybe induced me then, would he have made it?? Something I'll never know. I had my follow up, and they basically told me nothing would change as far as my appointments with my next pregnancy. I was so upset. I guess we'll just have to see what the peri says about that. After having such high blood pressure, protein in my urin, a blood clot with this blood disease.. knot in my umbilical cord... ect.. NOTHING would change? yeah - ok. Im hopeing the peri has some more hopefull news for me. Im keeping my hopes up and my head high.


Heather

28weeks - Shane Andrew 4/25/04
"Our little angel who will always be loved and never be forgotten"

[julie f]

Oh my goodness Heather, what an awful experience you had with your care, I am so sorry.

I think you'll find that the peri you meet with will be able to give you the best answer on when is right for you. I had differing opinions form my doctors, 2 said 6 months, one said at least 6 months but then said she hoped it would take us a while... and another, told us that he likes to see about a year... As soon as we lost Zach though, I wanted to begin trying immediately and was so upset at the thought of waiting even the six months... I think it really just depends on the doctor, what's going on with your body and, how you feel personally. I have read success stories form some who have waited years and others, who have only waited a couple of months. I pray that yours is a success story, regardless of how long you wait.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 9, 2005!!!!

Southern California Coordinator

[julie f]

Heather,

Here are a couple of links from others who have asked this question:
http://www.preeclampsia.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1178
http://www.preeclampsia.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=116

I don't think there is a magic number, just something that you, your husband and dr. need to be comfortable with. For some, they do need a lot of time, for others, we want to be pregnant again right away. My husband and I only planned on waiting the 6 months (I was on the pill but, actually praying for it to fail ech day...[:I]), then he asked me for one more month so that we would not be on the same timeline if we conceived right away. The month that we were to begin trying again, I had to go on some meds that required us to wait a bit longer... Nine months later we were finally TTC and thankfully, were blessed to get a ++ test last month. It's a scary thing and it seems that no one out there has too many answers about this... Please let us know what your dr. says.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 9, 2005!!!!

Southern California Coordinator

[arj]

Bless your heart, that sounds like horrendous medical care. To not even offer you a simple u/s to ensure things were ok... Sheesh! I'm so glad that you are switching doctors. YOU are the patient. They are to provide YOU with quality care. I would definitely find someone who you are comfortable with and trust. That makes all the difference in the world. Good luck with getting healthy and having a reassuring appt. with the peri.

Allison (28)
DS-Evan, 7/19/2003. PE at 40 weeks

[for faith]

So sorry for the care you received and what they are planning to do with another pregnancy. Glad to hear you are going somewhere else. My OB told me to wait 6 months (I think mainly due to my c-section, didn't seem extremely concerned about the PE), but I now have an appointment with a peri to confirm this. I am also going to discuss with her my care throughout so that I will be watched closely. From things I have read on this board, I will definitely be my own advocate this time.

All the best.

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))

[angelkat]

Heather....

There is no right answer if it's to soon to try again.... It really depends on where you and Craig are in the grief department. I was so ready a few months after Katlyne had died but my DH was not ready at all and it caused a TON of tenison in this house but after a while and FINALLY we talked it all out he was really scared of losing me this time.

I would start with a GOOD Peri then discuss options with them first. They can help you in when your body is right but you and Craig are the only ones that know when your hearts and minds are right...


Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(13)PE 37 wks
Ky (11)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey Looking at Aug
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V

[5thtymachrm]

Wow, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, I know this can't even touch the surface of what you must be going through right now. I don't have any advice in this area just wanted to offer my empathetic self and any support through whichever choice you make. Good luck and please know we are all here to support you as much as we can.

Elizabeth

Indigo E. 11/20/03:37wks, PIH

[norlisa k]

Dear Heather,

With the others, I am so sorry for the loss of your son, Shane. My heart goes out to you.

I'm not sure there really is a "time frame" for the right time to conceive. Different doctors will tell you different things, as you can see from Julie. But please find one, a high-risk OB/perinatologist who you are very comfortable with and trust. Someone who is extremely knowledgeable and who will listen and answer all of your questions. They're out there, Heather. My sincerest hope is that you'll find the right one for you. Also, it's up to you when you feel you're ready to conceive.

As you go through this process, please let us help you hold on to your hopes, and give you support and be your sounding board.

Many hugs,
Norlisa

Norlisa Keffer(35), Washington State Coordinator / Moderator, Mothers of Multiples / Co-Moderator, Trying to Conceive
DH, Gordon (37)
Joseph/Josephine Our Angel in Heaven (9/16/02)
Mary Frances and Samuel (a.k.a. Frankie and Sammy) 38 2/7 weeks, 5/26/03, no preeclampsia during pregnancy, mom severe high blood pressure problems post-partum