It's Getting Closer

Are you considering having another child after preeclampsia? Trying again after preeclampsia can be an emotional challenge. You can find support with others who share your concerns here.
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aajatwins
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Re: It's Getting Closer

Postby aajatwins » Wed Mar 02, 2011 02:26 pm

Kelli, I don't think you should call it defeat at all. Choosing to be a mother through a different avenue, like adoption, could be a beautiful journey for you! My husband and I are signed up for the next round of foster/adoption classes in our city. And then we got pregnant :) But we are still going to go through with the classes because we are followers of Christ want to care for orphans as we're called - the foster/adoption journey is so much bigger than "us"! that is really "big picture", ya know? I wish you the best in whatever your decision will be and I pray you have peace about it.
{{hugs}}
Anna (28) - endometriosis
Hubby (27)
Aidan & Jordan - 7.2.09 at 36 weeks. Induction turned emergency c-section due to eclampsia. big healthy toddlers today!
Asa - 10.23.11 at 39 weeks. NO hypertensive issues!! successful VBAC :)

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kellikbock
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Re: It's Getting Closer **Update**

Postby kellikbock » Sat Feb 12, 2011 06:44 pm

So, I've clearly been wishy-washy on this topice for that past two years, and I'm just about to just "throw in the towel", so to speak. I can't get the fear out of my head & I'm leaning toward adoption. It is kind of a bummer to admit defeat...

sam10
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Re: It's Getting Closer

Postby sam10 » Thu Dec 30, 2010 09:54 pm

A counselor who deals with anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, and/or womens'/family issues (I can't find a better way to express this right now), might be a good way to go. Many counselors who deal with baby or neonatal loss, are also treating women who have not lost a baby, but had difficult pregnancies, or babies in the Nicu, or children who are sick, or similar. There is a variety of issues, such a therapist will counsel. In my view, it is most important that you like and trust your therapist, and their way of counseling you.
~Julija (42)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
H (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
M (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/

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kellikbock
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Re: It's Getting Closer

Postby kellikbock » Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:51 am

I've started looking for a counselor, but I haven't been able to find one thus far that deals with something like this. I didn't experience a loss with PE...so that isn't what i was looking for...do you think that I should be looking for post traumatic stress and/or anxiety? I'd like to find a good fit, but I don't know what I'm looking for... :?

alexa5
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Re: It's Getting Closer

Postby alexa5 » Tue Dec 28, 2010 08:06 am

I agree with the suggestions above on counseling. Most counselors that specialize in concerns related to women should be able to help, as well as those practices that are family oriented because they handle all spectrums. The other thing to consider is that the base of your concerns is your fear and anxiety and all counselors can relate to that. They don't judge whether one thing is more worthy of fear than another...they recognize what it is that has impacted you and focus on getting you through that.

I do think if you are able to counseling would really help with some of those feelings.

sam10
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Re: It's Getting Closer

Postby sam10 » Mon Dec 27, 2010 12:45 am

If you decide to try counseling I can recommend the following:
The first thing you might want to do is check with your insurance if you are covered for counseling. My insurance was also helpful giving me names of therapists who 1) take new patients and 2) who are specialized in pregnancy complications and pregnancy/neonatal loss or something similar. I don't think I have seen one who specializes in PE particularly though. Sometimes you would have to try a therapist only to find out that it is not the right one, which can be tedious.
I have also found a group (led by a therapist) who is designed for women who are pregnant again, and have experienced pregnancy complications and the loss of a baby as a consequence in a previous pregnancy. This takes a bit of digging around, but you might find something like that in your area.
~Julija (42)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
H (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
M (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/

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kellikbock
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Re: It's Getting Closer

Postby kellikbock » Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:36 am

I know that I should really look into counseling for the fear and anxiety that PE brought into my life...I just have zero idea about how to go about doing that. I'm not sure if any of it would be covered by insurance & who I'd go to. Absolutely no one understands what I've been going through but you ladies on the forum...I wish that when discharged from the hospital, they'd give you some information on post traumatic stress & help that you can get for it...I think that it should be included with the paperwork just like post partum depression info.

sam10
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Re: It's Getting Closer

Postby sam10 » Mon Dec 27, 2010 10:00 am

I have found that my doctors were not the most helpful in making the actual decision, as it is a decision of the heart and a battle against the fear.My doctors are all scientifically minded, and that is what they focus on. So I stopped expecting them to diminish my fears, which is the main culprit for making such a decision. My therapist, however, has been the go-to person, as it is her job to deal with my fears, and all matters of my heart including making the decision to TTC.
~Julija (42)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
H (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
M (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/

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kellikbock
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Re: It's Getting Closer

Postby kellikbock » Sun Dec 26, 2010 08:47 pm

I've heard that, too...some doctors that I've talked with don't agree; others don't dismiss it.
Between my first (mild PE) pregnancy and my second (non-PE) pregnancy were three years...then my third (severe PP PE) pregnancy came two years after that...five years between the first and last...
I have seen 2 MFM's, 2 OBGYN's, and 2 GP's about getting pregnant again...six of them all said different things. The only thing that they did agree on was that they couldn't tell me much of anything. I know that no one can say anything with 100% certainty, but it'd be nice to have some help in making these decisions! :roll:

claricemaala
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Re: It's Getting Closer

Postby claricemaala » Sun Dec 26, 2010 06:42 pm

Hi Kelli,

I am wondering how long you waited in between pregnancy? I have heard that time between pregnancy could affect / cause development of pree or eclampsia.
Thanks.


I lost my second son after 31 weeks due to NEC. Waited 5 ears between pregnancy. My fisrt son was delivered at 33 weeks and is a healthy 5 year old now. WE are planning to try within a year.
Mom to 6 year old. Born at 33 1/2 weeks after preeclampsia and abruptio placenta.
Angel boy -Michael- born 2/1/2010 at 31 weeks. Had pre eclampsia and hospital bedrest at 27 weeks. Died due to NEC. Forever loved and missed
Rainbow baby due Feb 2012. Hoping for a looooonnnnnnngggg uneventful pregnancy.


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