Confusion...confusion

[claricemaala]

As some of you may know my story , I had PE in 2005 with my first born. Dx at 27 weeks and was put on bedrest at home. I had emergency C section at 33 1/2 weeks due to / bleding/abruptio placenta. Now my son is healthy 5 1/2 year old. Dur to the first scare I pushed of pregnancy for 5 yrs. So I decided to get prenant again in 2009 and was successful. I again was diagnosed with Pe at 27 weeks and was placed on HOSPITAL bedrest due to my history . I had C section at 31 weeks due to my baby's Hr deceleration. Unfortunately my son went to heaven after 8 days of healthy life in NICU stepdown due to NEC.

Now that I am 13 months after my C section, I already have the thumbs up to get pregnant. Actually was encouranged by my OB to have it before I turn 38. I will turn 38 this Oct 2011.

UNFORTUNATELy, I have been discouraged by a lot of people and friends (NOT FAMILY) about undergoing this third pregnancy. I wanted to get pregnant this year and give birth before the ned of the yr and to tartet the two year window.
Evreybody around me tells me about adoption and surrogacy. Ii am NOT gainast them BUT that is not what I want to do. I can bear children my problem is carrying them to full term beacuase of PE.

I am really discourage and it bothers me. Actually it hurts me more than it helps me.
I have a feeling that I will have a successful pregnancy this time. I have changed my ways --diet and excercise, taking prenatals, folic acid and calcium.

I would liek to know if there is anybody out there that had two pe twice but then develop a PE pregnancy the next time "using the two year period"?

I am scared. But I know I cannot control anything with this PE . I can only hope.

Pls help

[riehlism]

With recurrent, severe, early onset preeclampsia did you have any tests done for underlying conditions? I didn't read that in your brief history. It also doesn't sound like you did anything differently between the two pregnancies. Typically, MFMs or OBs will add medication to your regimen: Low Dose Apsirin or daily Lovenox injections.

In your position, I would want another child. But I certainly wouldn't try to get pregnant without doing something different because your history shows repeated PE at the 25+ week mark.

What I did was touch base with an MFM and my OB and they laid out a plan for me. I started taking baby aspirin daily even before TTC, and will continue through pregnancy. If my MFM sees something suspicious, then they will add Lovenox.

In short, get checked out if you haven't already.

[sam10]

I am so sorry for your loss! And then to find the courage to do it all again is hard enough. To hear, even if well intended, to try to go a different route rather than trying on your own, is not helping matters either. It seems that people don't hear you or don't even take you seriously. I have heard the same from some of my friends also. Depending on my mood I answer in different ways. I either ignore it, or just say "hm, yes", or I tell them that this is not the way to go for us right now. Since it has bothered me so much to hear these things over and over again, me and my husband have come up with a plan. We have decided to try as long as we can. We do everything possible to bring home our own baby, until we both feel, we can't or don't want to do this anymore. When we feel that we are done with trying on our own, we'll decide what to do next. Until then, we are working on our own. I stopped talking about it with most of my friends and family.

Try not get discouraged, your friends probably mean well and are emotionally invested. They might be scared or feel helpless too. For them it might seem the easiest to provide you with a simple solution, and hope that this will just stop the pain.

I found it helpful by seeing a therapist (talking through it all) and finding a good MFM whom I trust.

Sending you hugs.

[aajatwins]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how difficult that is. I'm only very early in my 2nd pregnancy, so I can't speak to whether or not you will have trouble with PE again. But I recommend posting this question in the "Ask the Experienced" board - there are many women on these boards who have had 3+ pregnancies and some get easier and some get harder. You would get more response from those ladies on that board.

As far as wanting more babies... that is such a personal decision. I know people mean to be helpful when they offer you advice or think they are sharing new info on different ways to be a mom, but they certainly can hurt us unintentionally. I can see from the women on this board who have lost, that they loved their babies so much - I can't imagine any of them trading those precious moments they had their babies for anything. Personally, it took us a lot longer this time to get pregnant and felt like other people would look at me and think, 'why do you need more babies? you already have 2' But God has simply placed it in my heart to bear more children and so I will, as long as He will allow me. All that to say, in the end, it is between you and God. What other people say and think doesn't matter (although, I know that it can get to us pretty easily, especially when we're in a delicate emotional state). I wish you all the best in your decision!

[claricemaala]

Yes it is true that I did not do anything different the second time around. I was naive and thought after 5 long years PE will not hapen again.
But after this second pregnancy and then loss I had done my share of research.
I have seen multiple high risk OBs and was already being followed by an reg OB who will follow me during next pregnnacy.
I do not have any underlying hypercoagulable state. I am alreday on Prenatal, LDA, Calcium and Folic acid. Still on Labetolol and Methyldopa for now chronic hypertension since my second pregnancy. Also of Fish oil and Lovaza. My Ob plans to put me on low dose Lovenox once pregnant.

I have changed my diet. Still have to work on excercise (been lazy lately) I am just 10 lbs overweight since ny delivery on 2/2011.

I am ready to get preggo. I am just getting my finances ready. Waiting for disability but if I cannot wait anymore I will plunge soon. I cannot wait to get preggo. Now I do not care what other people think. They are NOT in my situation and they did not lose their child. I have. I have to do what is right for me.

Thanksk you ladies.