Is Anyone thinking one and done

Are you considering having another child after preeclampsia? Trying again after preeclampsia can be an emotional challenge. You can find support with others who share your concerns here.
veronica44
Registered User
Posts: 136
Joined: Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:26 am

Re: Is Anyone thinking one and done

Postby veronica44 » Thu Jun 23, 2011 08:01 pm

I am so scared to try again. My husband really wants more children, but between the PE pregnancy, all the scares, and my daughter being so difficult, I really don't know that I do. I definitely don't feel ready yet.

The only thing that makes me unsure is that I was an only child, and I was miserable. I have poor social skills, and always craved a brother or sister and felt lonely. Granted, my parents could have done much more to foster social interactions for me despite not having more children (my mother had two severe PE pregnancies, the first of which resulted in a stillbirth, so I completely understand their choice), but I was not happy as a "lonely only".

lornarose
Registered User
Posts: 68
Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 1:00 pm

Re: Is Anyone thinking one and done

Postby lornarose » Thu Jun 02, 2011 03:52 pm

Hi Jenny,
I don't have any useful suggestions for you at present. Just to let you know that you are not alone in this huge decision facing you. I bumped into one of the mothers that I met in the NICU last October. It was lovely to see her beautiful baby, who was born at 28 week gestation and weighing just 2lbs. I remember this lady being rushed to labour and delivery as I was being admitted last year. It broke my heart as I remember seeing her DH packing up her belongings and her book, what to expect when you're expecting. I was thinking about the excitment of being preg and it all ending so traumatically. Thankfully her baby is now doing just great and it was so wonderful to see her. Eventhough we never talked in the NICU, too busy dealing with our own grief, I guess. We both mentioned was it worth going through another pregnancy if we had to go through this again. Neither of us could really say whether we could put ourselves in a postion of danger again. She is younger than me so probably has the luxury of time. I however am now 34 years old so will have to make this decision a lot sooner.
Momma to Emma born 34wplus 3 ,October, 2010,due to severe preeclampsia and IUGR.In NICU due to low birth weight and suspected sepsis, home after nearly 4 weeks.

jenny6780
Registered User
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon May 30, 2011 7:43 pm

Re: Is Anyone thinking one and done

Postby jenny6780 » Mon May 30, 2011 07:55 pm

I am another mother who is so torn...do I have another? My daughter Sage was born at 1lb 15oz at 28 weeks. I love her to death and is our world but I feel something would be missing if I didn't have another child to give Sage a sibling. I have been thinking about it for a while and discusses it with my husband every so often. I am planning on going to see the high rick doc that delivered Sage but still am very scared. Does anyone have any good suggestions or comments? Thank you!

brismom
Registered User
Posts: 94
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:42 pm

Re: Is Anyone thinking one and done

Postby brismom » Mon May 30, 2011 05:08 pm

I currently feel the same way. I want to continue to enjoy my daughter and live without the stress and worry of another pregnancy right now. With stress and worry comes sadness for me. I just want to be happy for my daughter and truly happy within myself. I know that after all that worry comes a wonderful present in the form of a child - a gift beyond measure but I think it takes an especially strong and brave woman to risk her life and I don't think I am that person. I will continue to pray to God for guidance and hope He leads me in the right direction. I hope the same for you all facing this difficult decision as well. Oh... Happy Memorial Day to you all!!!

lornarose
Registered User
Posts: 68
Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 1:00 pm

Re: Is Anyone thinking one and done

Postby lornarose » Thu May 12, 2011 01:13 pm

Hi All
Have been away from boards due to abnormal pap smear and the stress of it. Colposcopy went fine and it has given me perspective. I am now stopping to smell the roses and count my blessings, my beautiful family. I have decided to take a break from TTC no. 2 and just enjoy and appreciate what I have. My darling sister has 100 per cent decided to stop with her one boy due to an horrific L and D that ended in section. She had a healthy 40 weeks and her boy was 10lb. We are going to enjoy the summer with our two beauties that we had to suffer and fight for. I am taking each day and moment at a time. I'm living in the present and trying to gain some peace of mind. Not skipping ahead to another baby and the ultimate dream of beating PE second time around. I am happy with what I have. Love and best wishes to all the wonderful women out there in cyber space.
Momma to Emma born 34wplus 3 ,October, 2010,due to severe preeclampsia and IUGR.In NICU due to low birth weight and suspected sepsis, home after nearly 4 weeks.

User avatar
bordergurl72
Registered User
Posts: 88
Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2005 09:39 pm

Re: Is Anyone thinking one and done

Postby bordergurl72 » Mon May 09, 2011 01:09 pm

I have a daughter who is now 9 and I am 37. I go back and forth about this so much I get dizzy. I just miscarried in Feb. and was so sick with it. I am finally getting back on my feet and all's I could think about is getting healthy, working out, etc. To me, pregnancy = sickness and anxiety. I hate that HELLP has done that to me but as much as I want another child and picture the nursery already done I still feel like I should quit while I am ahead. I love my daughter with all my heart and am so thankful to have her. I feel complete with her and don't feel cheated, however, I just love kids a ton. I am blessed with many nieces and nephews so that helps. I think deep down I feel like I shouldn't try again. I can't shake that feeling so I may have to go with it. We have a great life and are truly happy so I don't know if I want to risk it again.
Feel free to pm me for anyone who wants to talk about this. It has always been and is an ongoing decision and struggle for me. I'm sure some of you can relate.
I could quote everything you said here, except I am 38 not 37 :) But I feel exactly as you, pregnancy = illness. And it shouldn't, but it does :(

I hate to hijack this thread, but brismom, I would love to talk more since it sounds like you and I have very similar thoughts and situations. I didn't see a place to pm you in your profile. please feel free to email me at anne at steibster dot com.
Anne, 39
DH, 47
Daughter born March 2005 at 38 weeks at only 4 1/2 lbs. by emergency c-section. Severe PE, HELLP & IUGR.
36 weeks of carefree PG, then it all went downhill and had an excruciating 2 weeks of pain and brushing off by Dr's until being properly diagnosed and delivered at 38 weeks. Since then have been diagnosed with celiac (2009) and Hashimoto's (2011).
Terrified to TTC, but really want to TTC.

brismom
Registered User
Posts: 94
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:42 pm

Re: Is Anyone thinking one and done

Postby brismom » Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:12 am

I can relate.
Last edited by brismom on Mon May 14, 2012 09:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

alexa5
Registered User
Posts: 712
Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:01 am

Re: Is Anyone thinking one and done

Postby alexa5 » Thu Mar 24, 2011 02:29 pm

I have decided on only one. I had my son at 33 weeks due to pre-e, and I am fortunate he is a very healthy 2 year old (at 90% for height and weight). My decision was more about how many children I wanted versus the impact of pre-e. I felt that since most other people wanted more than one child I was supposed to as well, and the reality is that I am fine with one. It took a while to get to that decision, but I am now happily there.

Plus I do feel grateful that my son and I came out of my pregnancy okay.... my pressures took months to come down, but since they finally did, I don't want to push my luck with another pregnancy, so to speak.

It is a hard decision.....I think the fact that you would be watched closely and have good care is a good sign things would be okay. I think a lot of it has to come from whether you want more than one child or not.... good luck!

User avatar
m
Registered User
Posts: 140
Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2009 05:43 pm

Re: Is Anyone thinking one and done

Postby m » Tue Mar 22, 2011 11:36 pm

We have decided that it's probably not a good idea to try again. I'm 32, so I suppose I can change my mind in a few years, but I gave away my maternity clothes recently and I kind of felt like I was finalizing my decision. We lost our first baby, born at 28 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia. I had PIH during my second pregnancy and went into labor at 36 weeks. Both babies had IUGR. It seems like my body just isn't able to tolerate pregnancy well. I feel like it would be such a big risk to try again. I also really don't want to go through another c-section recovery. It's likely that I would end up hospitalized for some time before the birth again and then caring for a new baby in the NICU for who knows how long. I feel like that wouldn't be fair to my daughter. I am so glad that we tried again after our loss, but I don't want to go through the physical and emotional hardship of another pregnancy. So, unless we decide to adopt, it looks like DD will be an only child.
DS 2/5/09 - 2/13/09; severe PE at 28 weeks
DD March 2010; PIH, preterm labor at 36 weeks, 10 days NICU

lornarose
Registered User
Posts: 68
Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2011 1:00 pm

Re: Is Anyone thinking one and done

Postby lornarose » Tue Mar 22, 2011 02:01 pm

Holly, thankyou for sharing your story and your input into mine. I am so sorry to hear what you went through and the loss of your much loved baby. PE is such a dreadful condition. I wish you luck in all the difficult decisions you have to make. lots of love, lorn.
Momma to Emma born 34wplus 3 ,October, 2010,due to severe preeclampsia and IUGR.In NICU due to low birth weight and suspected sepsis, home after nearly 4 weeks.


Return to “Trying Again after Preeclampsia”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests