Vent-o-rama

[jenndola]

I know I've been venting a lot lately, but I had to get this one off my chest...

I was at work today, and a coworker called me to ask if I'd cover a shift for her next month. "I have a doctor's appointment they had to squeeze me in for--I'll be 10 weeks! Can you believe it? I'm pregnant again! I just stopped taking the pill, and I didn't even miss a period! This is so weird! I did the same thing with my last pregnancy! So can you cover that shift for me?"

You know, I might be able to excuse it if I hadn't known her for a year and a half, or if we didn't work in a health care field where everyone in the pharmacy knows my extensive list of medications as well as my medical/pregnancy history. Heck, I might even be able to forgive all of that if it weren't for the fact that a month ago we had a long talk about my TTC again and the expensive meds the peri wants me on and how disappointed I am not to be able to even try until November.

But all of those things are, in fact, in play. So I ever-so-passive-aggressively told her I'd cover her shift, and then I went in the corner of the pharmacy and cried. My other coworkers were pretty funny, and very supportive--they told me to call her back and tell her she can find some tact or find someone else to cover her shift. But there's really no point, you know? She wouldn't understand.

*sigh*

I really need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Some days are just harder than others...and I love it here, because I know all of you understand that. Thanks for listening.

Jenn
Angel Maggie stillborn due to HELLP Syndrome & PIH at 19.5 wks
Missed miscarriage/D&C 14 weeks
Miscarriage 6 weeks
Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS)
I'm putting my perinatologist's kids through college!

[5thtymachrm]

~~~HUGS~~~

Some people are just rude!

Elizabeth

Indigo E. 11/20/03:37wks, PIH
ttc #2 is a go!

[susan belisle]

She'll never be able to love her kids as much as you love yours [;)]. Some folks just don't get it cause they don't have to go through it. But in the end it just make us better parents cause we know how hard it is/was to get our little ones here.

Looks like you and I are gonna be ttc buddies here on this board...Since everyone around us keeps catching eggs!!![}:)] I am currenly working with Dr. to get my BP meds on pg safe stats. So the earliest I could begin to even think about doing a bd is Aug/Sept.

Susan
Interuption 06/23/01 @20 wks
Carly 04/24/02 30 wks 3lbs 6 oz
ttc again with pg induced hypertention

[angelkat]

Some people just do not think before they speak!...

Good Luck in the TTC dept.. What meds does the RE want to put you on?

Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(13)PE 37 wks
Ky (11)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey Looking at Aug
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V

[norlisa k]

Hi Jenn - I'm really sorry about the tactless co-worker. I'm with the others, I wish people would think before they speak. You've got a support system here...

Many hugs,
Norlisa

Norlisa Keffer(35), Washington State Coordinator / Moderator, Mothers of Multiples / Co-Moderator, Trying to Conceive
(essential hypertension diagnosed before pregnancy, post-partum preeclampsia)
DH, Gordon (37)
Joseph/Josephine Our Angel in Heaven (9/16/02)
Mary Frances and Samuel (a.k.a. Frankie and Sammy) 38 2/7 weeks, 5/26/03

[jenndola]

As of last phone discussion (I have an appointment on August 25, which seems soooooo far away), he wants to do an experimental run of Enbrel. Thus far my APS seems unresponsive to traditional heparin treatment, and there's been some recent research that shows there may be an inflammatory as well as thrombotic role in APS-mediated pregnancy loss. Basically, I'd be a human guinea pig, and mostly because he and I really don't know what else to do. It'll cost me about $120 a month to do the Enbrel, which really isn't that bad compared to a lot of other things women have to pay for (I'm so grateful each and every day that I haven't had to pay for fertility treatments thus far), but we're on a pretty limited income, so it'll be a fair investment, but one I'm perfectly willing to make if there's a chance of a baby.

I'll also have to do heparin, and I'll be doing 1 cc shots 3 times a day because that's the cheapest way to get it...no Lovenox with this insurance, thank you very much. 20% of $2000 every month is a wee bit on the steep side.

Rant rant rant...I'm feeling better today because you're all so wonderful. Thanks for listening to my emotional vomiting.

Jenn
Angel Maggie stillborn due to HELLP Syndrome & PIH at 19.5 wks
Missed miscarriage/D&C 14 weeks
Miscarriage 6 weeks
Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS)
I'm putting my perinatologist's kids through college!

[catherine]

Hey Jenn, don't feel too much like a guinea pig. Bonnie is currently taking Enbrel to try and help control her RA. She's not posting much, she can't seem to catch a break on flare and other pg issues but at least she's still in the game. Maybe you could email her directly. She's on pretty strict bedrest but I'm sure that she'd be very happy to compare notes on therapy issues.

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors

[ann marie]

Hey Jenn,

So sorry to hear about your co-worker. Some people are just clueless.

Sorry to hear too about the costs of your medications and your insurance not covering the Lovenox. I'm a nurse and although I teach now a few years ago when I was working in a Hematology/Oncology clinic one of our Hematologists specialized in clotting issues related to pregnancy loss. Have you talked to any of the hospital social workers about being able to get the drug for free or at a reduced rate through the drug companies. Also lots of times we would have people give us their unopened Lovenox that they no longer needed and we would keep it for people such as yourself...it might be worth asking the nurses to keep you in mind if any becomes available.

Hugs to you,



Ann Marie (29)
DH: Matt (32)
PIH/PE/Low Amniotic Fluid
Luke 3/17/04--37 weeks after 15 weeks of bedrest

[maxs mom]

Jenn,
Sorry to hear about your co-worker, either she is clueless, self absorbed, or just plain mean. You don't deserve that. But it sounds like there are a lot of other people you work with who are really nice and supportive, so that is a big plus.

I wish you the best of luck with the new meds. I'll keep good thoughts for you.
Kara

Kara (34)
DH, John (36)
Max, 1/20/03, 25 wks, 534g. (IUGR), severe PE
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/mightymax/

[jenndola]

I've looked at the websites for Enbrel and Lovenox--they both have patient assistance programs that I'm planning to call about, but quite honestly, I'm not overly hopeful about it. We make enough money that we don't qualify as low-income, which would normally be a good thing, and we also have insurance, so quite often that opts us out of a lot of assistance. I'm also going to look into the local program here called "Baby Your Baby" that sometimes helps pregnant women with medical care--it won't help with the costs pre-pregnancy, but maybe it can help defray them once I catch an egg.

As for Lovenox...well, I've come to view it as a luxury med. As lovely as it would be to do shots twice daily and have less frequent blood tests, it won't kill me to do shots 3 times a day. I was spoiled to get Lovenox for $10 a month in my previous 3 pregnancies, so this must be my payback!

I appreciate all the support and suggestions. You're all so wonderful! *big hugs all around*

Jenn
Angel Maggie stillborn due to HELLP Syndrome & PIH at 19.5 wks
Missed miscarriage/D&C 14 weeks
Miscarriage 6 weeks
Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS)
I'm putting my perinatologist's kids through college!