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Fear about not conceiving

Are you considering having another child after preeclampsia? Trying again after preeclampsia can be an emotional challenge. You can find support with others who share your concerns here.

Fear about not conceiving

Postby fineolin » Mon May 23, 2011 06:57 pm

I have been TTC for 3 months, and I am beginning to feel it might not happen again. I turned 39 in April, and right now I am ovulating early, right after my period ends. I did not know that I was ovulating early until a blood test at my doctors office confirmed I had already ovulated. I usually spot for days before my period actually arrives, so i always counted from the day of when the period started. Well it seems that i should count from the day I start to spot. The last two times I became pregnant were totally by accident. Now that I am planning to get pregnant I feel as though I will discover things that I do not want to find out. I feel the stress of trying to get pregnant, and I am afraid that stress will make it difficult for me to conceive. I know that women are having babies later, however, I am scared that Hailey Rose was my last chance to be a mother. When do you give up and let go of your dreams???
Marjorie (39)
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (2006)
Had to terminate pregnancy at 22.5 weeks, July 2010 , due to Pre-e.
Miss my baby girl, Hailey rose everyday. I will never give up.
Pregnant again, due in July. Dear God, I leave it in your hands. I feel so blessed.
Miscarried at 8.5 weeks. Devastated and Sad.
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Re: Fear about not conceiving

Postby sam10 » Tue May 24, 2011 00:16 am

TTC is a stressful time, I can very much relate to that. It's just not fun. I had a few years of "unexplained" infertility before I conceived the first time. During that time I did a lot of reading and asked my doctors everything that I could find as a possible reason for not conceiving. One of my worries was stress! But all I was told over and over again is that stress is not preventing conception. If stress has any influence, it might push out ovulation, which in turn might give you a longer cycle.
Perhaps you want to start getting to know your cycles a bit better (charting or fertility monitors or such), so you'll actually know when it'd be the best time to TTC. If you are very worried, you might want check with your doctors to get some tests done. Sending you hugs.
~Julija (40)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
Henry (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
Matilda (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/
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Re: Fear about not conceiving

Postby aajatwins » Tue May 24, 2011 08:53 am

don't give up yet! Our twin boys were conceived within 2 months of trying - crazy! but this baby took 8 months to get. I have no idea what was different. I do have endometriosis and I was not very familiar with my cycles (because they're wierd!). So there were a few months in the middle where we didn't try very hard - it's so discouraging sometimes. I went from not worried about it to very worried about it to just letting go and trusting God. It's a hard road, for sure, but give yourself a little more time! Make sure you have good support - here or somewhere else - to help you get through it.
Anna (28) - endometriosis
Hubby (27)
Aidan & Jordan - 7.2.09 at 36 weeks. Induction turned emergency c-section due to eclampsia. big healthy toddlers today!
Asa - 10.23.11 at 39 weeks. NO hypertensive issues!! successful VBAC :)
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Re: Fear about not conceiving

Postby flori » Sat May 28, 2011 05:11 am

Hubs and I haven't started ttc yet, but I know how you feel. I have PCOS and we tried for over a year to conceive her and finally did on my second round of Clomid. Now not only do I have the worries that come along with PCOS, we have to deal with the uncertainties of preeclampsia and HELLP. :( I want so badly to be a mother and I hate how many obstacles we'll have to overcome.

Are you using OPKs? I've tried charting and could never get the hang of it because of my irregular cycles, but the OPKs were great to have during our Clomid rounds. Of course, maybe several cycles of baby-dancing for fun could do the trick.

Finally, don't give up yet. I know it sounds selfish, but I feed off of the success stories on this board to keep me looking to the future. The more ladies that get pregnant and have babies after a loss, the better I feel about trying again. I want you to be one of those ladies. :)
Flori, 30
Mommy to Gracie- born at 25 weeks 03/15/11, 11 inches, 1.1lbs, and absolutely beautiful. Became my sweet angel the next day.
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Re: Fear about not conceiving

Postby kerisue » Sat May 28, 2011 09:54 pm

Like you and Julija, I'm an older mum and I have this same worry! I don't want to go through months of disappointment when I don't get the positive. After the losses we've had it doesn't seem fair does it? Since you've only been trying for 3 mos. I'd say it's too soon to let go of your dreams. Keep in touch with that doctor, read up on fertility, and have fun trying.
Mama to Millie
born June 2010 @ 24 wks. gestation due to my severe PE and CHF
lived 25 days, loved and missed
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Re: Fear about not conceiving

Postby fineolin » Sun May 29, 2011 06:54 am

I am not going to give up. I just have to pin point when i ovulate. My doctor is helping me with determining exactly when i ovulate. She does not seem concern because I have been pregnant twice, and I was only pregnant less than a year ago. My fear is that i will not get pregnant because now i am actually trying as opposed to it happening by accident. I am going away at the end of July for two weeks, so I am trying, but not really. I haven't been on vacation since 2009, and I need to get away from worrying and thinking about PE and conceiving. I am also trying to lose weight. I want to lose at least 10 pounds. I am feeling more positive, and hopefully my dream will come true.
Marjorie (39)
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (2006)
Had to terminate pregnancy at 22.5 weeks, July 2010 , due to Pre-e.
Miss my baby girl, Hailey rose everyday. I will never give up.
Pregnant again, due in July. Dear God, I leave it in your hands. I feel so blessed.
Miscarried at 8.5 weeks. Devastated and Sad.
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Re: Fear about not conceiving

Postby holly3372@msn.com » Sun May 29, 2011 08:33 pm

I so needed to see this post! I was feeling the same. I turned 39 in March,we had only one baby, Benjamin born at 26 weeks from pre-e. He lived for 4 months in the nicu and we lost him. August will be one year that he is gone.I too want to try again and am afraid of not being able to beacuse the first time was so "easy" and this time it's so different. You are not alone,hang in there and keep trying don't give up. I know each month is hard but it will happen for us,it just has to. Thinking of you sending love xo
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo

Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013
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Re: Fear about not conceiving

Postby jules2 » Sun Jun 12, 2011 02:31 pm

Don't give up yet! 3 months is no time at all (at 39 years!). I've just had my 40th birthday and my second little girl is now 6 months old. I know all these emotions only too well - my first daughter Alice died just days before my 38th birthday! It took me probably 8 months or so to get pregnant again (2 miscarriages in that time as well), and one month before my 39th birthday I was wondering whether I had the strength to keep going - but I did and now have a healthy baby following a normal pregnancy! [I'm now wondering whether I can dare to try for a second living child... but don't tell anyone yet :-)!]

I actually spoke with fertility experts and they told me to just keep going and not give up because despite my age I still seemed pretty fertile (got pregnant quickly enough despite all the mc and early pre-eclampsia) - I thought they might tell me to give up and adopt given my past history and age (38 then) but that advice turned out to be accurate.

Take care, I know how hard this is x
May 2009 - Alice stillborn at 26 weeks due to severe PE and HELLP post-partum

2 early miscarriages

And then 4th pregnancy baby girl due 29th December 2010! Born safely after totally normal pregnancy on 17th December.
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Re: Fear about not conceiving

Postby kbunsey » Sun Jun 12, 2011 09:12 pm

Stress is not a good thing for TTC. You know this. I won't lecture you.

Have you tried acupuncture? My practitioner sees many people for fertility issues. I get needles regularly and she often tunes my energy to help w/ female issues throghout my cycle. When I was TTCing she had me schedule my appointments for specific times during my cycle. It might be worth it for you to find a practitioner who specilizes in acupuncture for fertility. And maybe try some stress-reduction bodywork - like yoga. There is a great video by Pulling Down the Moon - they specialize in yoga for fertility. Their website had lots of helpful info. The founders of the company have both struggled with fertility issues of their own. http://www.pullingdownthemoon.com/

Also, after we lost FB - sex was really stressful for me and my hub - my anxiety about getting preg again - him feeling like it was his fault for getting me preg and making me get sick w/ PE (totally irrational - but part of our process) and just other stuff. It was so confusing. Our therapist sent us on an assignment to an adult store. Might not be your cup of tea - but - it did help us lighten up again. And we had some overdue laughs!

My attitude in recovery and life after my PE was/is pretty much - I'll try anything to feel better.

Best wishes to you!
Katie, married to Doug. Mom to Fiona Elizabeth, stillborn June 21, 2008 @ 26w; Severe Preeclampsia. Loved. Kyle James, born October 29, 2009 @ 39w; Healthy and PE Free!!! Josephine, born Nov.17, 2011 @ 39w; PE free again. Woot!
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