Possibly pregnant and all of the sudden, I'm freaking out

[mfred]

We have a 3-year-old. I always wanted two children. It took me a while to come to a point where I would even think of getting pregnant again. We've been to a perinatologist to discuss my chances for PE again, and it was about 20% (which is high to me). I was doing a lot of soul searching and researching. Shortly after I gave birth to my son, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. With the complications I had with my pregnancy, and then the diagnosis of hypothyroidism, I started to look into the possible link between the two. I have never had issues in my health and all of the sudden, I started having these issues come out of nowhere (PE and thyroid disorder). My research showed that there may be a possibe link between PE and thyroid disorders, but some research showed the chicken-egg thing. I can't tell if PE can cause a thyroid disorder or vice versa. Anyway, I wonder if I had an underlying thyroid disorder while pregnant that caused the PE. What helped me come to our decision to start TTC was the fact that since my thyroid is now under control and that I know how to take better care of my body, the PE may stay away.

This is our third month TTC. I haven't taken a test yet, but I temp and all that jazz and it looks promising. The kicker is, all of the sudden I am becoming terrified at the thought. I was so excited the past few months and couldn't wait to become pregnant, but I am so scared now. Why am I feeling this way? Is this just a fleeting thought, wonder. And to top it off, I received a brochure from the PE Foundation yesterday indicating that those who had PE had double the risk of stroke and heart disease 5 to 15 years after diagnosis. I think that's what really scared me.

My son is my life and I couldn't imagine leaving him motherless. I am so scared I am going to die or something. I'm also afraid that I will have to be put on bed rest and won't be able to care for him as well. Please, please someone help me to think positive. I certainly need positive thoughts. Is there a good chance I might not get it at all? My mind is so full of fear and what-ifs right now and it's making me sick. I guess I look at those ladies who have had three or so pregnancies, each with PE, and wonder how they make it through the fear each time and have the strength to not get scared.

Thanks for listening.

[riehlism]

Freaking out is pretty common. I think most of us here have experienced that. The prolonged effects of preeclampsia is scary. But then again, so is being obese, diabetic, and having high cholesterol. All of those increase the risk of developing cardiovascular disease in multiple times over in normal people.

I see it this way, my risk is higher but I am aware of it and so are my health care providers. That means I have the opportunity to be proactive and do something about it instead of being surprised by it later in life.

You are in a different position because you have a 3 year old son and it's worrisome that something might happen to you. I am in a different situation because my son died last year and I have always wanted to have children. My MFM also gave me a 20% chance of recurrence.

I've done a lot of reading and talking to the ladies here. There are so many success stories, it's almost hard not to be hopeful for your own future. At the very least, the statistics are on our side. Based on what our doctors gave us, we have an 80% chance of going through a second pregnancy PE (and for me, HELLP) free. There is a 20% chance of us getting it again. However, the stats also show that it may happen later in gestational age and may present in a less severe form. For me, that's good news.

In the end, we just need to find the right providers who have experience and stay on top of the research to guide us through future pregnancies. Good luck.

[bordergurl72]

I just wanted to say, i thought I was last month, and I went through the exact same thought process as you...until I tested negative. It seems to be pretty common to feel this way. Just keep thinking of that 80%.