Michelle, that Travler was born so healthy, proves that you can do it. I for one could never call you selfish for wanting another baby. I think that you and your husband more than anyone understand both the rewards, and what is at stake. It is rightly your decision, as a couple.
Family are always tricky, and in some cases, plainly impossible. Sometimes some folks just can't see that it's not exactly about them. Parents can be the hardest, they don't want to see anything bad happen to their children, ill-health, emotional or physical pain, loss. As mothers now, we can relate to it, but it's pretty difficult to take when the rest of the world respects your adulthood and independence. So, I believe that you and your husband can make a choice that is right for your family, you'll just have to accept that you may not be able to bring everyone with you. Fortunately for us, pregnancy can't last longer than 9 months, at which point... all their reasons for angst, fuss and bother will be passed!
You may have some tough questions to ask, not least of yourself. Is the reason that you find them so difficult to deal with because somewhere deep inside you fear that they may be right? There are bigger risks, preeclampsia excluded, with being an older mom. On the other hand, you guys had the best medical support last time out and you sure were able to do what it took to bring Travler into this world as healthy as he is.
I believe that in the end, you will decide, and then whatever that decision proves to be, that you will be happy with it.
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors