My story isn't exactly the same as yours, but I did have a very negative OB experience like yours after my daughter was born. I delivered my daughter last year, about a month before you delivered yours, at 29 weeks 6 days. I was diagnosed at 29 weeks 3 days at my regular monthly checkup. I had swelling, headaches, and other symptoms for a few weeks before that, but I naively thought they were regular pregnancy symptoms. After I gave birth my OB told me I should not have any more children and urged me to have my tubes tied (she refused to give me hormonal birth control because my blood pressure was still high, even though my nephrologist said it would be OK). I wasn't ready to take that step, so my husband and I tried to make do with "natural" family planning. I ended up getting pregnant again within 6 months of delivery. It took so long to get pregnant before that I really didn't think I had to worry about it that much.
Although I was not a chronic hypertensive before pregnancy, my blood pressure took a long time to come down to normal afterward, and then only did so with medication. My nephrologist (I donated a kidney in 2008, so I see a nephrologist annually to check my kidney function) was managing my hypertension post-pregnancy. I told him that my OB had recommended not having any more children and asked his opinion. He said that he had treated a lot of women with blood pressure issues who had preeclampsia, and he said if his wife had my history he would not let that deter them from trying for more children. When I got pregnant I saw him before I saw my new OB (I decided not to return to the other one) so that he could switch me to pregnancy-safe BP meds. He was very positive about my chances at a successful pregnancy and recommended his wife's OB. After a couple of weeks he decided to take me off blood pressure meds altogether because my pressures were good on a very low dose of the pregnancy safe stuff (he said it likely came down due to the natural decrease that occurs in the first and second trimesters of pregnancy).
I then went to my new OB. She did not have a negative attitude toward the pregnancy, but she was cautious. She started me on low dose aspirin, had all sorts of lab work done (including a 24-hour urine) and had me see an MFM right away. The MFM said he was very optimistic that I would be able to deliver a healthy baby close to, if not, full term, but he said I would likely be back on blood pressure medication by the time I delivered. He also predicted the baby would actually probably be large this time. He didn't feel the need to provide my primary prenatal care, but remained available to my OB for consultation as needed.
That was 8 months ago. I am currently 35 weeks 2 days, my blood pressure has remained stable off medication, and my baby is measuring large (I developed gestational diabetes this time, so that is one reason why. I have also heard that sometimes pregnancies subsequent to PE produce large babies.. which is what my MFM was alluding to when he predicted a large baby). My new OB has remained very cautious. I have had appointments every two weeks since the beginning, growth ultrasounds every four weeks since week 26, NSTs twice a week since week 32, and fluid ultrasounds every week since week 32. Everything so far has been going well. My fingers are still crossed for a full-term delivery, but even if I have to deliver now I am much less afraid than I was when I started the pregnancy.
If I were you I would definitely wait to hear what the MFM says, and possibly find a new OB. My last OB was very negative and (in my opinion) judgmental. My new OB is so much nicer. I love that she is so cautious and follows me very closely, but I feel like overall she has more of a positive attitude than my last OB.
1st - miscarried at 11 weeks in Dec. 2009
2nd - baby girl born Mar. 2011 at 29 weeks 6 days due to severe PE
3rd - baby boy due June 19th, 2012