The waiting game :(

[cgoodi1]

I lost my baby at 21 weeks to pe. I have no clotting disorders, no more high blood pressure and have had three perfectly normal menstrual cycles. I was just wondering how long anyone else who lost a baby waited to try again in a similar situation and whether or not they were successful? My doctor said to wait six months but to be honest I'm having a really hard time waiting that long. I want to send him an email and ask if it's absolutely necessary. I'm not going to do anything unless I have the go ahead from my doctor. I just want to see if anyone else lost their baby early to pe, had no other issues and had a healthy baby the next time after waiting 3-4 months. My pe pregnancy was my first pregnancy and although it was traumtic my desire to bring home a baby is so great!

[MomTimesThree]

I don't have experience getting pregnant quickly after pre-e, but I can share our TTC journey after our first, who was born pre-maturely. I wanted to be pregnant right away- it seemed like it would help get my life back to where it was supposed to be. We wound up with unexplained infertility and it took us almost exactly a year to get pregnant with our second (we found out a few days after her first birthday). At the time, the waiting was so difficult. In retrospect, I'm so thankful that I had that year to be a mommy to her- it wasn't the way I anticipated that I would be a mommy to her, but I was. And in that year I got to make traditions that are just hers and mine that I've carried through over the years. It was nice for me and her to have that only child time and now with her lil' bro here and expecting our third, I still really cherish the time that I filled just thinking about her and doing things in her honor.

Keeping you in my thoughts,
Lauren

[JB]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't lose my baby, who was born later than yours, but I did get pregnant again within 6 months (it was close to 5 months later). My pregnancy wasn't really planned, and I still had residual blood pressure issues. I'm almost 36 weeks now and my blood pressures have been good. I was on non-pregnancy-safe meds when I got pregnant, and when I went off them my pressures were low enough that I didn't need to go on any others.

The only concern my doctors had about getting pregnant within 6 months of my last delivery was that it increased the risk for uterine rupture if I were to try for a VBAC. They didn't flat-out refuse to allow me to try for a VBAC if I really wanted to, but they strongly discouraged it. I feel more comfortable having a repeat c-section anyway, but it may be an issue for people who really want a vaginal birth. If you didn't have a c-section then it should not be an issue for you if you get pregnant again.

[angieb]

I don't have experience getting pregnant quickly after pre-e, but I can share our TTC journey after our first, who was born pre-maturely. I wanted to be pregnant right away- it seemed like it would help get my life back to where it was supposed to be. We wound up with unexplained infertility and it took us almost exactly a year to get pregnant with our second (we found out a few days after her first birthday). At the time, the waiting was so difficult. In retrospect, I'm so thankful that I had that year to be a mommy to her- it wasn't the way I anticipated that I would be a mommy to her, but I was. And in that year I got to make traditions that are just hers and mine that I've carried through over the years. It was nice for me and her to have that only child time and now with her lil' bro here and expecting our third, I still really cherish the time that I filled just thinking about her and doing things in her honor.

I really agree with this. We were told to wait 3 months/6 months since I had a classical c-section. The urge for me to get pregnant again was SO strong, kinda ridiculous but we stopped using protection pretty early on. It took almost a year, 6 months with fertility treatments. Trying to get pregnant again after a loss really really stinks. But even harder than that? Being pregnant again. I knew being pregnant again wouldn't be easy, but it was *so* much more difficult than I could have ever imagined until we were there. So in the end, I ended up being glad it took so long. I definitely *NEEDED* that year to grieve for Olivia without having to worry about being pregnant too. I don't think I would have had the emotional energy to deal with both at once.Physically, it's possible you could ttc again and the next pregnancy would be fine, especially if you didn't have a c-section, your blood pressure and all labs are back to normal, etc. But I strongly suggest you give yourself the time, even if you don't want it or don't think you need it (that would have been me, for sure). I know I am a better mom to Olivia and our rainbow baby because of it.

[cgoodi1]

I could totally understand taking some time to wait if I still had blood pressure problems or if I had a c-section, but everything seems to be fine now and I gave birth naturally. My three menstrual cycles after birth have been normal as well. I just can't figure out why the doctors would request that I wait. Does waiting increase your chances of a better outcome next time? Is there any literature or studies that goes over this?

[angieb]

I could totally understand taking some time to wait if I still had blood pressure problems or if I had a c-section, but everything seems to be fine now and I gave birth naturally. My three menstrual cycles after birth have been normal as well. I just can't figure out why the doctors would request that I wait.

Does waiting increase your chances of a better outcome next time? Is there any literature or studies that goes over this?

No, at least not that I am aware of.
If you read the New Yorker article in Caryn's signature, it suggests that more closely spaced pregnancies are ideal...(the gist of the theory is that the blood vessels and stuff are like panty hose, so after a recent pregnancy, they are still stretched out and blood can flow more easily, over time they will shrink back down.)

Have they done a 24 hour urine and bloodwork labs since you were pregnant to be sure you are back to normal with everything now? (Some people find out that they spill protein regularly outside of pregnancy, etc.) I'd also want to be tested for underlying conditions (blood clotting disorders in particular but also lupus, etc.), most of those tests should be done after 6 weeks postpartum. And make sure you are comfortable with the OB and MFM that will be managing your next pregnancy and "the plan" for it, before you TTC. But all of that aside, I'm not sure what physical reason your doctor may have for suggesting you wait. I suspect it may be mostly emotional. I would certainly ask them why.

[danielsmom]

From what I read, it looks like it's not just recommended for emotional reasons. But the physical reasons are not just to minimize risk of preeclampsia. Google "short interval between pregnancies". Short is usually defined as < 6 months. Here's one article. Sorry it isn't very recent and thorough, but it condenses most of what I read in one source: http://scienceblog.com/community/older/ ... 00985.html

So your enemies prior to 6 months are mainly preterm labor/premature rupture of the membranes, infection, anemia, and hemorrhage. Not pretty stuff, especially if you might have any lingering bloodwork issues that haven't normalized (although it sounds like you're in good shape and off to a great start with no clotting disorders, good BP, and normal cycles). Others had great advice. Do you have an MFM? Did they already discuss a plan for trying again with you? They may not have yet to respect your emotional well-being. God bless your heart for what you've been through.

On my first post-op appt with my OB after my son's 27 week birth, he didn't ask how I was feeling physically - he knew I was recovered from my chart. The first thing out of his mouth was "how's your head?" That's where my problem was. I wanted answers and a go-forward plan, whether I was emotionally ready at the time or not. He was very glad that I was asking those questions. And here we are... I'll be 37 weeks Saturday with #2.

[Shannonlynn]

I would have to agree with Daniel's mom. Most of the recovery doctor's are worried about is psychological. It takes just as large a toll on the mind as it does the body. I visited a psychologist for a while after I lost Fritzy. It was the best thing for me when I look back. I am now 27 weeks and things are going well. The six months will fly by and you will feel better. I felt I owed it to myself and my son to wait a bit so my mind was stronger. So, you are well on your way to TTC. Take care of yourself.