surrogacy

[LBD30]

This is my first visit to this forum. I delivered my daughter at 33 weeks due to severe pre-e about 1 year ago. I was so sick that I spent 9 days in the hospital after an emergency c-section. I was on bp meds for about 6 weeks postpartum. Even to this day my bp remains a "high normal." I have an autoimmune disease so I was on aspirin from the beginning and was a high risk pregnancy. I want a second child, but like most who have been traumatized by this disease, I am scared. We had to do IVF previously and we have 9 frozen embryos. At my MFM told me I have a 20-30 % chance of getting it again and my care would be the same as before (I was seen frequently). He didn't tell me to not get pregnant bc you never know if it will happen again. He did advice me to only implant 1 embryo bc twins can increase risk. This decreases our chances of being successful by half. I just have this gut feeling that my body will fail me again. I have an autoimmune disease, my mother had it with me, I had it with my first pregnancy....
I know so many woman have successful second pregnancies, but I am so unsure. Thinking about it brings up memories of the hospital and the NICU. Has anyone ever thought about surrogacy? I feel silly thinking about it bc my dr did not suggest it. I just don't want to risk my health and having my beautiful 1 year-old changes my thoughts as well. We will be getting a second opinion from another MFM. I just don't know how to not think negatively about being pregnant.

[kerisue]

Yes, I've thought about it and my doc did suggest it... but it's way too expensive for me to consider. Since you already have some embryos on ice the cost might not be too bad for you if you could find a close friend/relative to be a surrogate for you. The cost of "hiring" someone is pretty high, I understand. Then you also have to consider how you will feel not having the intimacy of carrying and birthing your baby, not having control over what food you put in your body while pregnant, etc. For me, I could deal with that in return for only "normal" chances of the surrogate getting preeclampsia vs. my projected 60% chance. I think your idea of getting a second opinion is a good one- best to have all the info you can before making any decisions. Good luck with whatever you decide!

[rosalinda]

My MFM suggested it after my placental abruption last year. I still don't know if it's a viable option for us, because it is very expensive. There was a poster here for some time on the boards that was able to have twin boys via her cousin. You can google her blog (it hasn't been updated in a while, but will give you her wonderful journey) it is "My journey to Myles and beyond to surrogacy..". Good luck.

[angieb]

We've actually had surrogates on these forums with no history of pre-e get it very severely and very early when they were surrogates for people with pre-eclampsia. Since there are some schools of thought which believe PE to be strongly genetic, a surrogate's odds might not be much better than your own. But I'm not a doctor or medical professional, just what I have observed in my years here, I don't think there is a ton of research on the matter (how much better a surrogates odds are vs. having the baby yourself) since I know a lot of people can't afford or do surrogacy.

Also wanted to mention, they gave me a 70% chance of getting sick in my second pregnancy after I had HELLP at 23 weeks in my first pregnancy. (Granted, no known underlying conditions.) We made it all the way to 36 weeks with no issues other than very mild GD.