Also Trying Again after PE with first two pregnancies

[torian0319]

Hi-
My husband and I are tyring to have our last baby. My first two girls, now 2 and 9 yrs old, were both born at 28 weeks at 1.5 pounds on the same day (yes, they have the same birthday). We would like to try for boy since I am now 36, soon to be 37 in a few months. This will be our last one. My family thinks I am crazy and that it is not safe for me to have a third child b/c it is hard on me and the babies. My first one was born early due to PE - they could not keep my bp down. But, my second pregnancy was a little different. I did have PE, so they put me early on a bp reducing medicine, but around 27 weeks, my bp was still rising and I was spilling a ton of protein. So, they hospitalized me. I was told that I would have to stay in the hospital for the duration of my pregnancy. I was so stressed out and wanted to go home so bad after just one week. Then, at that one week mark, I had a placental abruption and she was born with in minutes of me ringing for the nurse. Both are healthy and doing well, but we almost lost my secoond one after 2 mos in the NICU due to late onset of Group B Strept. I may be pregnant now (now sure yet) since we have been trying using the ovulation kit and I feel nauseous this morning. Anyway, I thought to come back to the site to get feedback from those who have gone through what I have and see what your thoughts are. Am I being selfish about this? I mean, although my kids are healthy, they went through alot while in the NICU and some of it was not pain free. Not to mention, I was so broken hearted the entire time - my life stopped until they were brought home. Should I put my self and a baby through this knowing what I know? I am not sure anymore...all I know is that I would love to have just one more and hoping for a boy. Thanks in advance for your feedback. Happy New Year!

Torian

[princess purr]

It is a really personal choice. I would say talk to good doctor like a MRM or peri so you can see if there are any meds you should be taken before hand or early in the pregnancy. I can't say what I would do because my daughter was born at 26.5 weeks and did not make it. I have said if I have a good pregnancy I might try for one more, If I end up with early preeclampsia again I want my tubes tied during the C-section. I can tell you that loosing a child totally and completely changes your life. I can't sugar coat it. You spend a lot of time wondering what if, a lot of time thinking about how old that child would be. It has been over 8 years for me, and I still have moments (not as many) that I will see something on tv that makes me sob for an hour because I should have an 8 year old and have no children. I have a friend that had two little girls, got remarried lost two little boys at 22 weeks (two separate pregnancies, not from PE), and now just had a full term little girl. You never know what is going to happen, you could get pregnant again and not get PE. You just have to really think it out, think what your family/marriage can handle. After a few years after I lost my daughter I did end up getting divorced, we just grieved differently and couldn't make things work anymore. Good luck with whatever you decide, and I hope if you do decide to go for it you will have a successful pregnancy!

[Raposa]

I haven't even given birth to my second, yet, and I'm wondering whether or not we'll have a third. We both want one, but there's always the question of my health. At this point, we've agreed to see if my BP goes back down after this one. After about a year, we should be able to make a better decision.

It's hard, though, when you really hoped for another little one, to think it might not be possible or might not be safe enough.