should I or shouldn't I???

[jisbonshipper]

Just a little background on me...
I have a 17 year old, no medical problems with that pregnancy. She was born small at just a little over 5 pounds but healthy. Three years later I married a different man and we had a son...no bp problems....two years later, hmmout daughter was born. She says tiny and airlifted to a hospital with an nicu although she was term. I found out at that time that my bp was 170/110. Doc put me on 3 different bp meds and an ER doc took me off 3 months later. In 2006 I have birth to a surrogate daughter, once again no bp problems until right after birth. Crazy high readings again but I KNEW I was feeling bad due to my bp. I was back in bp meds and developed white coat syndrome and anxiety. Just looking at a blood pressure monitor raises my readings. About 2 years ago I was diagnosed with chronic hypertension. I take a beta blocker that controls my pressure pretty well but really stressful moments still gets my bp quite high. After the loss of my mother I ended up in the ER to get clonidine toget my pressure down. Pressure was crazy high again at 180/ 110 and doc recommended yoga on top of meds. Hubby was afraid after the surrobabe was born and decided to get a vasectomy because the doc said it was in my best interest. Now, I'm 37 and hubby 42 and we find ourselves wanting another child. Am I crazy for thinking it may be possible to have a healthy pregnancy and child? We have recently gone vegetarian to become healthier and lose weight . Should I just give up on this dream? We want a child badly and looking at donor sperm but I'm afraid to get too excited. Afraid now that I'm older, heavier, hypertensive_ maybe I need to just let go of that dream and just be happy with the children I have been blessed with. We are finally at a good time in our life and am not getting any younger...I just don't know what to do. I would love to hear success stories, but if my age and health make having a baby a bad choice/ decision,I need to hear that. Please don't sugar coat...I just really need someadvice. Do I get excited? Or do I just give up? Thanks for any replies...

[alviarin]

If I were you I'd schedule a pre-conception consultation with a MFM specializing in high risk pregnancies: https://www.smfm.org/default.cfm

They should be able to give a better idea of your odds of a successful pregnancy based on your individual medical history.

Good luck with whatever you decide.