Wanting to try again...or not????

[mrsjacobs819]

It's been 4 1/2 years since my experience with PE. My story was not particularly horrendous although it was traumatic for me at the time. I always thought that I wanted another child at some point, and my husband has finally begun to express his desire for another child as well. I was really excited that we could start planning. Even though part of me was scared, having made the decision left me feeling a bit more calm - like maybe making the decision was the hard part.

I had an appointment with my OB last week and we briefly discussed the plan. I was slightly surprised that he did not feel that there was any pre-pregnancy "homework" to be done in the way of testing for underlying conditions, or getting my bp under a bit better control. His attitude seems to be to cross the bridge when we get to it. I want to trust him, and I want to be ignorant and believe that everything is just going to be ok somehow, but all of a sudden I seem to have lost my resolve and I'm scared again (maybe even terrified). I wonder if wanting another child is greedy when I already have 2 kids that need me. I've got a list of a million what-ifs that are killing me, and now I'm really not sure at all what we're going to do.

It's not fair to my husband for me to keep waffling back and forth, so I wonder how have the rest of you resolved a new pregnancy in your mind? Are you able to go in with an open heart and mind or do you just hope for the best?

[sam10]

There is a lot of hoping for the best, but it should not be the only thing you can do. You can prepare somewhat and get a sense of control by doing a few things:

1) get a consultation with a MFM (maternal-fetal-medicine specialist also called peri or high-risk ob). Your current health, your medical history and pregnancy history will be evaluated. Based on all this data, s/he will be able to assess your situation and give you an estimate of re-occurence. Also possible underlying disorders might be checked (e.g. clotting disorders etc)

2) get the best care team (docs and nurses) whom you trust completely. Even if this means you are consulting with more than one doc. This was an absolute must for me.

2) get/remain as healthy as possible. it might not prevent PE, but it makes you feel better and it is always good to be your healthy best Remember to always check with your doc what is recommended for YOU.

3) consider counseling. It helped me so much to see a therapist during my pregnancy with Matilda.

4) keep busy (e.g. focus on your job or a hobby).

5) build a network of friends and family who are actually helpful and understand. keep those who make your life harder at a distance (at least for the duration of the pregnancy). keep posting here. there is a lot of great support to be found.

6) lastly, keep in mind that pregnancy after PE/HELLP is a very scary undertaking. It is not a pleasure cruise nor a walk in the park Most of us who dare to try again are scared, feel confident one day and then panicked the next. this is absolutely normal.

Let us know how it goes. And welcome to the forums