by aundapenner (1624 Posts), Sat Feb 22, 2014 10:22 am
Sounds to me like whatever you decide, you are going into it with full awareness.
We truly are the lucky ones - those of us who can sit at our computers and type about our stories, those of us who can cuddle our babies every day and night.
But we also know the risk we take with having additional pregnancies. Unfortunately, my body just doesn't do pregnancy well. Surviving preeclampsia twice, dealing with the daily ramifications of having had a 34-weeker (ADHS, hearing aid, etc.) well, for me, the decision was to not take that risk.
But oh, how my ovaries ache. I long for that feeling of having a baby inside, feeling it move around and knowing that it was a product of love ... and then, I think of all that I have, all that I have fought, and I am so very thankful to be where I am today. For us, the decision to not have any biological children was not only about me facing my fears, but also accepting my husband's fears ... however, we are in the process of adopting so a bigger family is an option for us.
No one but you and your spouse can make this decision - it is a massive decision with risks that are well-known. Preeclampsia is a mean, ugly thing that takes away the innocence of first time pregnancies. I only recommend you take your time and really consider all options. I also found it very helpful to have contingency plans for contingency plans for contingency plans ... what if I were pregnant, what if everything went well, what if I were hospitalized, what hospital, what doctor, who would take care of the kids, the dogs, teh household, and IMO most importantly, how would my husband deal with this ALL again?
Not sure I'm as optimistic as other, but for me personally, I just tried to be as realistic as possible.
Alice - survivor of PE twice and mama to Heinrich (Henry), May 2006, born at 34+2 at 4lbs 5 oz and Sofia, February 2009, born at 37+1 at 6lbs 5oz.
Very thankful for the PF - who I found after Henry was dealing with preemie issues.