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My PCM…infuriating

Are you considering having another child after preeclampsia? Trying again after preeclampsia can be an emotional challenge. You can find support with others who share your concerns here.

My PCM…infuriating

Postby Alexia_ata » Sun Dec 08, 2013 00:29 am

by Alexia_ata (4 Posts), Sun Dec 08, 2013 00:29 am

So, in the military health insurance program you must visit your PCM in order to visit a specialist. Well, I want to see a MFM doc and made an appt to get the referral. He came in the room, greeted me and promptly asked me why I wanted a referral for a MFM. I explained briefly what my pregnancy was like with my son and asked him if there was a way he could quickly review my charts from my OB being as it was in another state and also a contracted doctor, not base. He said no, and proceeded to tell me that just by my brief (no great detailed information) description that no doctor in his/her right mind would give me their "blessing" to try again. He said that by getting pregnant again I am not only selfishly putting my son at risk for losing his mother,but I will be endangering another child that I could possibly lose along the way. He said that "there are many other options including adoption" and then said that he doesn't see Tricare approving this appt bc it is absurd to waste money on this type of circumstance. I sat there, wide eyed and in shock. I am a nurse. I just completed my MSN and have grown up in hospital settings. His outright abrasiveness was ridiculous. Not to mention he had NO details of my pregnancy, is not a specialist and was a total pompous a** about it. I was so infuriated that I started to cry. I left the office totally discouraged and called my husband. He lost his cool and called the doctor's command right away and filed a formal complaint with the appropriate people. I am worried that I will not have the opportunity to see the MFM and we really want to have baby #2.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? How do you not let it bother you? I just worry that all doctors will assume I am being reckless and irrational. I don't see it as that especially since I waited 4 years and am attempting to see a specialist before I get pregnant again.
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Re: My PCM…infuriating

Postby MomTimesThree » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:39 am

by MomTimesThree (580 Posts), Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:39 am

Wow. Most of the words I can think of are not very forum friendly. The response from the general practitioner were uncalled for judgmental and based on I don't even know what. I'm glad your husband filled a formal complaint and hope something comes of it. Even if he was a specialist in pre e it would be inappropriate to make recommendations without reviewing your chart and history- that's just bad medicine. Each case is unique.

You are being very cautious seeking a preconception appt with a MFM. And I hope you are still afforded one- if truncate decides to be too big of a hassle you might consider doing the preconception visit out of pocket and have them write their recommendations... And then maybe wave them in that doctors face ;)

Keep posted I am so sorry you were treated to unkindly and in appropriately

2008-Our Baby Girl, PTL born too early at 30w6d, Fought so hard... Forever Loved & Missed
2010- Lil' Bro, Pre-E at 29 weeks... Induced at 36w6d, Born 37w
2012- Lil' Sis, Super-imposed pre-e at 25 weeks, PTL & GD at 35 weeks, Evicted 36w
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Re: My PCM…infuriating

Postby Alexia_ata » Sun Dec 08, 2013 03:58 pm

by Alexia_ata (4 Posts), Sun Dec 08, 2013 03:58 pm

Thank you for the advice. My husband already mentioned that if I wanted to go see the Dr that he thinks it's a good idea and doesn't mind the cost. We just want to be safe and not jump into anything.
As for my PCM, he is a jerk and I have heard many other horror stories about him. He told one girl to try the "twinkie diet" as a weight loss option. I mean, seriously??
I am contacting the MFM dr tomorrow. I leave for Africa in Jan and will be back in the beginning of Feb so we want to try then and I would like to have as much done before then as possible.
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