How Long should it Take?

[lisac]

Hi--

I know this seems a little irrational, but I'm already imagining that I have fertility problems because we tried twice and it hasn't worked. One part of me knows how ridiculous it is to jump to that conclusion at this point. Its just that I know everything was timed perfectly, so why didn't it work?

Last time I got pg, we conceived immediately. Now it is two years later, and I'm 35 yrs old. I've heard too many stories from women who had gotten pg immediately w/their first, and now they've been trying for over one year.

The fact that I lost my first (and last) pg/baby at 24 wks due to pre-e makes this even more emotionally loaded--I tend to go to the worst case scenario these days. I figure that I've tried for two months w/no luck, so I that's it I'm over the hill!! My PMS mood isn't helping either!

Lisa

[julie f]

Lisa,

Before we even started TTC this time, I was so scared it wouldn't happen. I think it's completely normal to feel this way. Whatever trust we once had in our bodies has been shattered and we have no reason to believe that things will happen like they "should."

Hang in there, I pray that you are getting your +++ very soon.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!

Southern California Coordinator

[catherine]

Lisa, I know that the statistics say that most normally fertile couples "trying".... in the sense of not using birth control but not stalking eggs with thermometers etc., hit the bullseye within 8 months. A surprisingly long time that sometimes seems. I have friends who conceived their first kid at the first shot, took over two years of committed effort, including a leg up via insemmination that didn't work then got pregnant and now, within a year of that baby, and despite her nursing constantly, are pregnant again!!! Nobody is more surprised than they are LOL!

It's so random honey, but it will happen.....

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors

[for faith]

I am scared that is won't happen too (I just turned 35 too), even though I conceived right away with my other pregnancies. I have heard different things between 6months-1year of trying before it is considered an issue.

I hope you get your ++++ quickly and you won't have to go down that path.

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 9/02

[samarasmom]

I was told by the docs that everytime you have a child and get older each year that your body responds differently so dont think that just b/c you succeded right away the first time that you are having fertility problems b/c you havent succeded yet,your body is different. I tried for 6 months for my last miscarraige. I lost the baby in may and didnt get preg again until Oct. and then when i wasnt trying right after the second lost 2 wks later I was told that I was. Try not to stress about it even though that is easier said than done, and try to relax about the situation. Also I dont believe in all that temperature stuff probabaly bc I dont understand it but what we did is around the time I figured I would Ovulate for a wk before and after we had intercourse every other day since sperm can live for 3 days I made sure there was some sperm there since the egg only lives for 24 hours I wanted to make sure i did not miss it. NOt sure the method you use or if you are up to this or not. I will keep fingers crossed we here you have a positive soon

Sandra 23
elijah 05/06/99
isaiah 03/25/02
samara 07/21/04

[meg hanrahan]

Lisa

I'm glad that you realize that you may be a bit more sensitive and you are right that two months is not a long time. I conceived right away the first time - miscarried; and then conceived immediately again. After that pregnancy which ended in severe pe and an early delivery, I thought that we wouldn't have any problems conceiving again. (I was 36 at the start). It took five months (still not a long time) but in the end relied on the ovulation sticks to help us out. If not using them, I would suggest you do so that you can estimate fertility a bit better. Otherwise, try to relax and enjoy the process! (Once you have your baby, being intimate does not happen that often! LOL!) Good luck and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Meg
Isabella 11/11/2002 (34 weeks, severe pe)
Katie 4/21/2004 (full term, no pe)

[lisac]

Thank you all so much for your feedback. It really helps to hear that this is normal. All of this pregnancy business has been such an ordeal for the past two years. I can't wait to know how this all plays out (one way or the other) so I can just deal and move on. I know that there are so many of us here struggling with this kind of anxiety.

Again, I so very much appreciate your support. I feel much better :)

Lisa

[maxs mom]

Lisa,
If your cycle is abnormal, your doctor may intervene if you really feel like it is needed. But if you have a normal cycle, your doc may say to try for 6 months and then come see them. It doesn't hurt to ask the OB if there is anything they can do, especially since you are 35, some times they are more proactive as we get older.

Good luck!
Kara

Kara (34)
DH, John (36)
Max, 1/20/03, 25 wks, 534g. (IUGR), severe PE
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/m/mightymax/