Why can't I be pregnant?

[melissam]

Doesn't it just make you want to smack them all? I SO hate pregnant women right now. I am not even allowed to join the TTC group yet....But I can't wait. I hate to say it, but I am one of those Oops people. Kelsi still baffles me. It seems that every time I tried to get pregnant I would get BFN after BFN. Then, when I knew I couldn't afford it or whatever other reason I would prevent and somehow I had two children.

I am very concerned about September. I have only one chance to make this work so that I can have my baby here before we move for DH residency. I have NEVER had any luck when TTC. Hang in there. I am sure it will happen for you soon....at least I am praying that it does.

Melissa
Mom to:
Riley 2/9/2000 born at 37 weeks due to PE
Kelsi 12/30/2004 - 1/1/2005 (13 oz) born at 24 weeks due to Severe PE
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/k/kelsi2005/
New photos added 4/18/05 - see Kelsi's Closet

[julie f]

I couldn't say it any better than Norlisa already did!

Denise, I'm praying for your +++.

Julie (28)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Jackson Charles 01/24/05, 36wks 6dys - NO PE!!

Southern California Coordinator

[sweetiesuzy]

Dearest Denise,

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I have been really praying for that BFP for you guys. Boy , Norlisa really nailed it with her response. You are such a wonderful woman and an awesome mom. You will have that happiness you are desiring in your heart and when it happens we will all be right there with you thrilled beyond belief! Sending baby dust your way ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Huge hugs,
Suz

------------------------
Aaryngston ~ 3/25/95
Chloe Rose ~ 10/26/01 Stillbirth
Samuel Isaac ~ 12/30/02
Laura Elise ~ 7/19/04

"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have
trouble remembering how to fly"
-Marion Beatty

[denise]

Thanks Kris and Alex.

Kris, hopefully you and I will be showing off some +++ soon! I know how bad you want to be pg too. I can't wait for the day that I can read your good news!!!

-------
Denise (29) Co-coordinator for WI
Jason (32)
Ariana (24 months)5/3/03-just shy of 35 weeks: Class 1 HELLP
http://hometown.aol.com/oneyodafan/DeniseHomePage.htm

[alexp]

Aw, Denise, I hope you get your BFP very soon. I know this has got to be so aggravating and hard.



Alex, mama to:
Parker - born 4/15/2001
Vivian & Lily - born 7/14/2003 at 32 weeks

[kdreher]

Denise,
I'm right there with you hon...I was in PA for a baby shower last weekend...while I was happy to be there for my cousin (she's 37 and her first) I was jealous inside...seems as though when you want to be pg, everyone around you either is or just had a baby. I have a hard time with it..more often then not.

I also had a long talk with the dh as he hasn't "been there" like he needs to be for ovulation time. I told him that I/we didn't spend $6000 for this not to be a priority w/o getting stressed. Why is it so hard for men to realize that there IS only ONE chance per month???? Ugh..he is driving me crazy.

Kris (35) & Tom (35)
Connecticut State Coordinator

My Angel - Tyler 3/9/95 to 3/23/95 (15 oz, 26 wks severe pe/HELLP)
Tubal Ligation 2/2000
Tubal Reversal 10/2004
Miscarriage 1/05



tkstevens@sbcglobal.net

[denise]

Thanks Norlisa! You always have the right words to cheer me up! It really got to me yesterday as I learned about the two pregnancies and then my MIL told me that I was thinking too hard about getting pg and needed to relax and it would just happen. Of course, she never had any problems getting pregnant with any of her 4 kids.

You ladies are such sweethearts, I love ya all!

-------
Denise (29) Co-coordinator for WI
Jason (32)
Ariana (24 months)5/3/03-just shy of 35 weeks: Class 1 HELLP
http://hometown.aol.com/oneyodafan/DeniseHomePage.htm

[norlisa k]

Hi Denise,

SO sorry that you're feeling so down right now. And it is the same almost everywhere: when you're feeling the worst about TTC and it not happening for you, everyone around you and those that you love most get pregnant. And unless they've had trouble TTC, they don't really get the heartache of getting those BFN's month after month, year after year. And the most annoying (I-can't-really-type-it-out-because-it's-an expletive)s are the ones who tell you: "Don't stress, then it'll happen... I'm Fertile Myrtle ... and like you said the 'Oops, it was an accident and it just happened.'" (And it's okay to think here: "Lady, you're gonna be an accident if you don't shut your trap!")[:p]

Vent away, that's what we're all here for. Not being able to get pregnant is such a heartbreaking place to be, and I'm so sorry that we even have to have this board to talk about it; very glad that we have each other, but sorry that so many of us have this s*** going on. Being able to reproduce isn't supposed to be this hard, and being around people who can just want a baby and "bam," it happens, makes it even harder.

A good friend of mine has been going through this for a couple of years now, and she told me that she tries to see this as a test of strength. With each baby shower that she goes to, and each congratulatory "It's a boy/It's a girl" card that she sends, she tells herself: "Okay, I did that, it was **** hard, but I did it. And hopefully I'll get stronger, more compassionate, and more understanding because of it." One of the strongest ladies I know. Of course we're always happy for our loved ones, but there is that place inside that hurts, with each beat of your heart, longing to feel that baby inside of you.

I hope that it happens for you, Denise, and everyone on this board, so very soon: your BFPs with long, boring, preeclampsia-free pregnancies to go along with it. Take it from someone that's been there: don't lose sight of your goal, listen to your bodies, and you and your partners stand strong with REs and peris that you literally trust with your lives and your babies' lives. Miracles do happen to those who believe and look out for them--I truly believe that--may we all be having new miracles soon...

Hugs to you, Denise,
Norlisa

Norlisa Keffer(36), essential hypertension diagnosed before pregnancy, successfully treated with atenolol, NO preeclampsia antepartum. (post-partum preeclampsia)
DH, Gordon (38)
Joseph/Josephine Our Angel in Heaven (9/16/02)
Twins Mary Frances and Samuel (a.k.a. Frankie and Sammy) 38 2/7 weeks, 5/26/03

[denise]

Thanks ladies. I'm just frustrated right now. My heart is telling me to keep trying, but my mind is saying take a break. I'd really love to be pg over summer, so a break might be in order until fall.

-------
Denise (29) Co-coordinator for WI
Jason (32)
Ariana (24 months)5/3/03-just shy of 35 weeks: Class 1 HELLP
http://hometown.aol.com/oneyodafan/DeniseHomePage.htm

[sjs40]

I know just how you feel Denise. I have been there before, and Im there right now. It just seems so unfair....
Sending babydust your way.

Sue (41)
Chris (38)
DD Eleanor Susan (Ellie)
born at 27wks severe PE
24 July 03 - 20 August 03