A Hard Night ...

[timelessbeauty]

Last night my 10 yr old went with me as we had to put my 12 yr old best feline friend to sleep. I had made the decision to put him to sleep because he was less than 5 lbs, he was suffering with kidney failure, he had stopped eating two days prior and was crying almost all the time whether I held him or not. I felt so bad to see him suffer but I couldn't help but bust into tears when it was all said and done. He was a momma's boy and used to always sleep with me at night. He had a habit of howling at the top of the stairs when it was 11pm and time for bed. He was my "baby boy".

And to add insult to injury, my youngest daughter who is 16.5 months old came down with a fever yesterday that climbed to 103.7 by the time I got back from dealing with my grief and helping my cat end his suffering. So immediately I throw myself into mom mode and get the ibuprofen out to reduce the fever and grab a drink for her to try and hydrate.

It was a very sleepless night between crying over my cat and worrying over my daughter. My oldest daughter was with me as I held my "baby boy" for the last time. I couldn't leave him alone because he was such a "scaredy cat" as it was. She asked to go with me and be there for her buddy, also. She wasn't quite prepared to see what she did even though I tried to warn her what would happen. Frankly I don't think even I was prepared. My cat was a present from my late husband. Irony is when you have held your husband as he takes his last breath and you hold your cat as he takes his last as well. I will never forget either but it closes yet another small door to that chapter in my life. Thankfully I still have 4 other cats at home who crowded around me later in the night because I believe they knew. My oldest daughter went to spend the night at Grandma's house and have a more uplifting time. I have since heard they went shopping.

He was as close to being my baby as any of my pets. His loss hits just as hard if not harder than my lost pregnancies (the miscarriages). I knew his little personality and he was so sweet. Kitt, I'll miss you buddy!

My youngest daughter is doing better this morning. She and I both went back to sleep after I gave her another dose of Ibuprofen at 7 am and something to drink. She woke up and her fever wasn't near as high. She seems to be feeling a lot better now.

Good news part of this, my husband received a letter of recognition for his efforts at the hospital. It also comes with a monetary award which will show up in his paycheck. I am very proud of him for his good work. He is a nursing assistant and pours his heart into helping the veterans at the hospital. It's nice when you hear it has not gone unrecognized.

We are unfortunately looking at one of our dogs thinking we may have to put him to sleep as well. He has developed a mass in his chest that could be cancer. He's been throwing up in the morning and once again, it's so hard to see someone you love suffer. I don't presume to play God but I know that he may feel better in Doggie Heaven than suffering at our house with little relief.


Hugs to all. I wish you a blessed day as the weather today here is beautiful. Love to the mommies.

Sue

[annes]

Oh Sue, I am not in Indiana, but I read your post. I recently had to put my kitty of 10 years to sleep, and I cried and cried[:(]. He was a mean little cat, but he was mine and boy was he gorgeous. I had him since I was right out of college, and he saw me through several broken hearts, the worst of which happened right before I met my DH. He would sit by me when I cried and was sad, and he was a lot less mean when I was upset. Unfortunately, he never adjusted to living with DH's 4 cats, he had health issues, and he scratched my son several times (drew blood) before I finally said enough.
Your kitty sounds like he was a sweetheart, and I know you will feel the loss. I am so sorry.

Anne
DH Richard
DS Parker 7/6/03(severe pe)33wks
Miscarriage(14 wks, D&C) 12/04

[emily kates mom]

Sue,
I'm so sorry to hear about your rough night. I am also a passionate animal lover. I had to put my kitty to sleep in college that I got for my 5th b-day. She had progressive bone cancer. It was so hard, but she needed the peace. The sad thing was, we knew this was coming, and had attempted it for the 1st time(Our vet, a family friend, came to our home b/c he knew the office would traumatize her further.) about a week before, and she came running out of "her bedroom" for the first time in weeks of not moving at all from the same spot. So of course, we couldn't do it then, so we just waited, and she got horribly worse very quickly.

I can definitely empathize - I'll keep you in my prayers!
Oh - BTW, have you ever seen the children's book "Kitty Heaven" (they also have "Dog Heaven")? I have that book and it really helped me cope!

Hugs,

Allison (27)

Mommy to Emily Kate
Born 9/23/03, 3lbs 7.8oz
32.5 weeks
SEVERE PE / HELLP

[youtan]

Sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved kitty. My 2 cats are 10 and 11. I'll also be so sad when they will leave us. My husband and I got them around the time we were married, so they've been part of our lives together.

Tanya (31)
Local Group Moderator & Kansas Coordinator
Nathanial 3/6/99 HELLP 27 wks, 1lb 10oz
Jonathan 8/9/02 PIH/low fluid 34 wks, 4lb 8 oz
www.geocities.com/tly_phd

[kdreher]

Wow Sue you really have had it rough.
I find it interesting how you related your experience with your cat and your late husband. I thought I was a nut when I was told that my buddy, Jack, our then 4 1/2 yr old lab had bone cancer. I cried all the way home because I didn't want to loose another "male" in my life. I digressed back to Tyler's passing...the pain was just so bad...very strange. Jack is still with us, but I dread when the cancer progresses. It is very hard to let a pet go, they are family to many of us.

Kris (35) & Tom (35)
Connecticut State Coordinator

My Angel - Tyler 3/9/95 to 3/23/95 (15 oz, 26 wks severe pe/HELLP)
Tubal Ligation 2/2000
Tubal Reversal 10/2004
Miscarriage 1/05



tkstevens@sbcglobal.net

[timelessbeauty]

I had to go back and correct that it was the miscarriages that I could handle better than losing my cat. I was only two months along with them and it seems like you just find out and then I lost them, so it was too quick for me to put much stock into it. But Kitt was a friendship/love built up for 12 yrs. I have 4 other cats in the house and 3 dogs. I am the consumate animal lover. Three of my cats are 12 yrs old and I have 1 cat that is 6 yrs old. My dogs are 9 yrs old, 5 yrs old and 3.5 yrs old. The 9 yr old and the 3.5 yr old are both healthier than the 5 yr old .. go figure.

Well, time to go rejoin my family. Eldest daughter is still sad and youngest is still a little under the weather.

Love to all.

Sue

[denise]

My heart goes out to you Sue. Please know we are thinking of you.

-------
Denise (29) Co-coordinator for WI
Jason (32)
Ariana (22 months)5/3/03-just shy of 35 weeks: Class 1 HELLP
http://hometown.aol.com/oneyodafan/DeniseHomePage.htm

[timelessbeauty]

Took youngest to doctor today to find out her fevers of 103.8 and 102.7 are viral. I may be paranoid but I just want to make sure if it's an infection causing the high temps, that I don't let her suffer with it causing more problems. I'd rather be safe than sorry.

I got to thinking, Kitt was so much my "little boy" that maybe he had to pass before this new "little boy" came into my life. Kitt would sleep nestled on my arm with a paw draped over my arm as if to say "You're not going anywhere as long as I'm here". Funny things to remember are that he was a playful cat when it came to my lingerie. He loved to take a swipe at my bras when I would put them on or take them off. My lil' pervert cat! lol .. He also used to love Chili cheese frito corn chips, and brownies fresh off my plate like the one he took off with down the hall when he was a kitten. (don't worry, I'm not into giving my cats chocolate, he sneakily snagged that one from me) I know my heart is big enough to have given them both attention but maybe it was his way of passing the torch to the newest "lil man" in my life.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. I enjoy having this forum to post daily events from the life of a PE survivor and a pregnant one at that! heheh

We are 33 wks and 4 days now and that just seems amazing. I have thought, just this once, would I be allowed to go into natural labor by the powers that be? Maybe even experience my water breaking just for the fun of it? C-sections scare the living daylights out of me so I pray I can handle whatever comes my way this time around. Wish me luck!

Love to you all,
Sue

[aimeejane]

Sue, I'm so sorry...what a rough time. I held my dogbaby (see photo on left) as she took her last breaths in October. (Also renal failure...she was 5 years old.) It was one of the hardest weeks of my life; she was my oldest child and one of the lights of my life. I know how much your dear kitty means to you.

I hope DD is feeling better soon. Hugs to you all!!

Aimee
Georgia State Coordinator
Moderator - Pregnant Again

Ds Nicky - 3/24/00 (28 wks - eclampsia)
Ds Kalen - 7/10/03 (36 weeks - preeclampsia)