by timelessbeauty (1712 Posts), Sun Apr 10, 2005 07:23 am
I look back upon this pregnancy that I am currently going through and think, WOW, how did I make it this far? I'm 35 weeks today seeing my baby boy moved up his due date by two days. He's moving around and showing me knees and elbows this morning. I asked the other day while I was at the Peri's office what the chances were of someone being at Death's door for two pregnancies and come back to health to have two very healthy pregnancies with only the addition of a couple of meds. There was no explanation given, just stated that I am weird! lol My Peri and his staff appear to be happy when they see me because I am doing so well but are completely baffled as to how this pregnancy, with a boy, could be doing even better than the last pregnancy with my baby girl! All my in office urine dips have shown negative protein, even this late in the game! I keep looking at my ankles and marveling that they are still there!
I did tell them though, as much as it does my heart great to see such marvelous progress in this pregnancy, I cannot help but feel as if I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm not trying to be a pessimist but the reality that PE can rear it's ugly head at any moment makes me a realist I figure. I try not to get hyper when I do not feel the baby move as much, my goodness, this kid's bigger than any of the others and I am sure he's run out of room to groove. Besides, he has to sleep sometime! I cannot expect him to keep me entertained with his "shadow puppet" movements all day long as I watch elbows and knees surface on my belly.
I guess the only real "shoe" to be waiting for is the onset of real labor. This will be some experience if I'm allowed to go naturally into labor versus induced like all the other times. Oh I can only pray I get to experience so called "normalcy".
My 17 month old wanted to watch Bambi this morning, so I am obliged to put that in for her. Not that she actually sits in front of the TV and watches the whole thing, it's just that she loves that deer.
I'm in search of baby sales in the ads today. So far nothing, I guess it will be a bit. They have clothes on sale but nothing as far as cribs, pack n plays, or car seats.
The knee surgery has strapped us again financially. The paychecks have been shorted because of all my husband's leave being used up and then getting put on leave without pay. I cannot believe that they would actually send him a memo saying he has to work on his attendance. GEESH .. do they not understand what "surgery" involves and sometimes there are complications? Insurance has covered quite a bit but we still have over $2000.00 to pay in "copays", "deductibles", and "10% patient responsibility". Just very difficult to pay the mortgage and utilities when you get direct deposit of less than 1/4th of a normal paycheck. Savings was depleated long ago when we lost our son and our tax refund carried us only so far this year. Rising costs of gas compound the situation. But I am living the American dream, to go into debt. LOL
I cannot complain, my kids are healthy, my husband is back to feeling somewhat normal again with his knee and we are expecting a wonderful new addition soon. If all goes well, I will be able to go back to work parttime and help whittle down these expenses and enjoy what I have a bit more. :-)
One last item, I received a card from our vet's office just this week in regards to our cat we had put to sleep the week before. The staff all individually signed a personal message to us which I thought was SOOOOOO nice! Such personal thoughts of how we were a great example of compassion for our fellow creatures and what a wonderful life we had given to our beautiful cat. They wrote such nice things and it makes the loss a little more bearable. I still miss my Kitt Kitty but I know he has to be out of suffering and my other cats have taken over to help make sure I know I am loved by the "fur community".
I'm going to see what I can accomplish today with my cooking, cleaning and crochet. (the three c's) lol
Love to all moms out there! And yes, once you have given birth, you are a mother for always, even if your child is now your guardian angel! Love to you all!