Well, I'm not quite sure how I feel right now.
I've been seeing my doctor twice a week now for about a month. This last appointment that I had was this past Thursday. She did the usual by monitoring the baby's heartrate, blood pressure, etc. & then checked my cervix to see if I was dilated.
She told me I was 1 - 2cm dilated & could feel the baby's head (ok, I'm freaking out at this point). She proceeds to tell me that by feeling my stomach she could tell the baby was already 7 - 71/2 pounds. STILL....taking this all in (did I tell you this is my 1st baby if you couldn't already tell by my anxiety?) I tell her that my health insurance really stinks. They tell me if my doctor isn't there to deliver "I have to call to make sure whoever delivers is." Not to happy at this point, what am I supposed to do, call in the middle of pushing to ask if this other doctor is covered by my insurance? AGH!
So.....my doctor responds by saying:" I will be here next week, off the week after, & THEN I will be back the week of the 26th so, the 27th looks good to deliver!
"WHAT THE".....I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I was told way back when that it would be Oct. 7th, not now, not in a few weeks!
YES, I AM SERIOUSLY LOSING IT!
Don't get me wrong it will be great to finally see our baby & hopefully to get rid of all the YUCK symptoms I've had being pregnant BUT, I've not ready! I don't feel like a mom-to-be, I don't feel like I can do any of this! I feel extremely insecure about everything motherhood has to offer. I don't know where to start with anything like breastfeeding, easing the baby's comforts, labor....this part REALLY scares me. Everything is honestly happening so fast now & I don't feel ready for any of it!
Gosh, I'm going to be a terrible mom!
"I am so sorry to keep going on & on...."
I haven't even asked how YOU are doing?
I hope everything is great & that your weekend is going well too!
My sister-in-law is throwing me a baby shower today.....I sure hope my nerves are in check by 1:00 this afternoon!!!
Hope to talk to you soon!