A new member, Sara, posted to my last topic "Getting Past the Trauma" that the first HELLP anniversary or baby's birthday may be hard because of reliving trauma.
I thought it would be great for other members to share how they handled their first HELLP anniversary, baby's birthday or angel baby's birthday and offer support.
I celebrated my boy's first birthday today (2/15). It actually was a lot of fun. My traumatic stress had built up the last 2 weeks, and I handled it by joining this board, researching pre-e/HELLP, and scaring myself through nightly obsession over whether I would get HELLP in a second pregnancy. I thought about the experience and cried a bit. I then got proactive, contacted a perinatologist for a consultation about future pregnancies and even read through my medical record of the delivery. Reading the record was emotional. [As an aside, it was very helpful for me to have my doctor walk me through the events of that night while looking at the medical record.] Seeing how high my bp rose, how low my platelets dropped... But it was also good because so much is a blur and I was able to recall the events and "forgive them" so to speak as I read them. I also tried to forgive the nursing staff and doctors involved. Most importantly, I tried to forgive myself for not being in control and my body for "betraying" me. Reading survivor stories on this board was a great help.
I was fairly moody on V-day, which is when the HELLP kicked in last year, but I had fun with my husband, exploring new places in town--a great distraction. At a religious service this morning, I prayed a lot and was thankful for my life and my son's life. I ended up having a very nice time today at a family birthday party for my baby. Being around family and friends helped a lot.
I feel more peaceful now after this anniversary and I am trying to enjoy the present. Look to loved ones and fellow survivors for support, even if they don't know exactly what you've been through, it really helps to have them around.
Warm thoughts to those with anniversaries coming up. May you all find peace, especially moms of angel babies. Experienced ladies, please share your stories.
Cole (2/15/03)-Gest.Diab/HELLP/preeclampsia/Emergency C-Sect